This~ is what I want???

How come it is so difficult to fix oneself?  I mean I've got enough sense that I can see my faults. I know my issues.  I've confronted my demons... good; Now its fixing time!!!  Right?

Wrong. When the opportunity presents itself for me to prove that I've matured or learned from my mistakes,  I slip back into the same behaviors, reactions, thoughts, attitude.  

Its so discouraging, and I can't help but feel extremely disappointed in myself.  

I wonder...

I've always said "People don't quit smoking because they don't want to.  They love smoking... why give up something you love?"

Could the reason that I can't change my behavior be because I like it?  Like i enjoy embracing my sins?

Jeez I hope that's not the case!