why do i do the things i do

I am a condradictory person. My husband has told me so and i notice it as well.

for example:

Joe: I LOVE that movie
Jillien: Really? i didnt like it all that much.

there is no need for me to say that and in fact it could hurt someones feelings or rub someone the wrong way and YET i cannot help it. I need to really start thinking before i speak. I guess because i like conflict. I like trying to convice people of things and i rarely get offended by anything. That i forget to put the filter on my mouth.

If i have done this to anyone i apologize. i truly dont mean anything by it except that i didnt like that movie or that song annoys me. I dont know why everyone has to agree, but i can see how it can be obnoxious.

I need to stop.

From this point forward i will think before i speak. {or at least try to}

Bryan the Beautiful vs The Infamous

so i have this horrible habit of getting angry at  people for doing something that i might do all the time. Like for example, I'm the worst person to stay in touch with because i make very little effort to stay in touch with you.  Not that i dont love you but its just hard for me. [dont know why] But if you put in as little effort as i do, I get pissed!?!? i know. i'm crazy. Well this recently happened with my friend bryan.

I brought out an old saying of his and i told him 'good bye forever'  Because he wasnt talkin to me just like i wasnt talking to him. Whats that about.\?! and we've always been cool. Since highschool. and now he's working with nasa, going to a&m and has so many things on his plate

AND I have a baby and a house and a family and so many thigns on my plate.

But the truth is is that i miss him. I miss having friends. I miss seeing the ones i care about. I miss being able to play pool in the middle of the night.  

Thats all