Saturday, July 31, 2010

Fads

I had never heard of a Silly Band before moving to North Cackalacky. Even gas stations advertise that silly bandz are in stock!
But every single child between the age of 3 and 18 is loaded up with Silly Bandz....And I'm wondering why?

When I was a kid what was the THING that everyone HAD TO HAVE?? Were they scrunchies? or comic cards? or pogs?  But why? How do these things occur? Just brilliant marketing? The right, popular girl in school has them and it causes a butterfly effect that sweeps the nation?

Well whatever it is---it IS. It is in these Silly Bandz. It was in the pogs of the 90's. What will it be in 10 years? Who or what will be the catalyst for that craze?



Friday, July 30, 2010

Where could I have gone?

I've been working.

Yes after almost 4 years of stay at home mothering... I am now a working mother and wife. It is such a strange feeling. I am elated that I'm able to learn a new industry(insurance) and that I'm able to contribute to the financial well-being of our family, but I am also struggling with the thought that i have to go EVERY STINKING DAY. and that I have to be there OVER EIGHT STINKING HOURS!  

I'm fortunate that the people I work with are AMAZING, helpful, God-fearing, beautiful, funny, intelligent, etc. etc. etc (the king and I--look it up)

Anyways that means....

I'm so incredibly busy, its hard to breathe. Hard to type. Hard to write. Hard to think. Hard to emote. Hard to imagine.

I hope I don't lose myself.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Quotes of Late

Lia saying grace: "Dear Jesus, thank you for our food... and then he huffed and he puffed and he bleeewwww the house down."

Lia after I cut Lee's hai
r: "Daddy, why do you have Cristiano Ronaldo hair?"

Lia describing Charlotte's Web: "Charlotte is a spider, and she DIED!"
LEE= Mortified
Jillien: No Lia tell daddy about the movie....
Lia: "Wilbur was saying NO NO DON"T DIE! but Charlotte said, "No. I'm dead"
Lee= extremely mortified "WHAT KIND OF MOVIE DID YOU TAKE HER TO!"

Thursday, July 01, 2010

The Love Message Revisited

I'm always wondering why...

Why I get angry so quickly. Why I can't just let things slide. Why I'm so impatient. 

But recently the Lord has been sending a message to me of LOVE. He's been pressing this theme upon me, and I can't just let it slip me by as if to say, "I don't have a problem with love... look at my family. I love my family"... right?

Sometimes its hard to love, or maybe I should say it this way: Sometimes its hard to love properly. Love without expectations. Love without stipulations. Love without resentment. Love immediately. Love patiently. Love kindly.

How many mothers out there can relate to loving one's child impatiently??? A LOT right!

BUT how about loving one's child resentfully? Not so much, I'm sure.

Although I there are probably many reasons I am the way I am, including my upbringing and my parents' style of child rearing, I can't help but wonder if my own resentment at getting pregnant at such a young age and all the depression and havoc it initially caused in my life have anything to do with how I behave today? Maybe I'm still holding on to the “old days.”

But I think the Lord knows my heart; He knows how desperately I want to succeed as a parent and wife, and He's trying to help. Recently I believe God has sent me clues as to how to defeat these dark moments. How to forgive the world and forgive my circumstances and forgive my husband and forgive my child even though they are guiltless. 

How? Ephesians 4! that's how! But I'll go backwards  Starting from the hardest and most important to the daily requirements of proper love....

32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.

First Forgive! Make a conscience decision every day to forgive ahead of time. Before any fault is committed, they are forgiven. They are forgiven immediately and without need of repayment. Just as we live in the complete forgiveness of the LORD.

31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Second let it all go! All the hurts. All the ill will. All the resentment and anger. Let it slip from you. Write a letter. Have a talk. Pray on it.  Just do it. Start fresh every morning. Make no record of wrongdoing.  Clean slate every day.

 29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I am the queen of mean. Sometimes I say the most hurtful things because I'm angry.

6"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

We are not justified to sin even if our anger is justified. Wanna be a better person?  Learn how to hold your tongue. Learn some self control. 

Finally after all this:
16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Now this post is in no way a testament of how wise I am, nor am I a psychoanalyst who has some sort of insight into these types of things. No Way! I am just a woman who has been desperately praying and begging the Lord to aid her in her life, and who the Lord has guided to this one central message: LOVE. Just love unconditionally and without any hint of resentment because of the past or anger or impatience. And it goes for all of my relationships. Not just as a mother, but as a wife, daughter, and daughter-in-law, cousin, friend, and acquaintance.

And why am I sharing all this? Because I can't be the only one.

I've been receiving this message for about a week, (its probably been longer and I just wasn't listening but now that I am, already I'm better!) I remind myself in the morning to relax, to not overreact, to behave lovingly, and then I try my best to fulfill that goal for my day. And I feel the anger slipping away. (sometimes I do mess up) but I start again. And I'm hoping that this becomes  a life long change for me.