There has to be more I can do.
I want prepare my daughter for school and help her become brilliant--while being too tired to think and too stressed from my day that I barely have an ounce of patience.
What do I do? Sometimes I think that my job costs me more than it provides.
But if i stop dreaming and start thinking objectively.... will I have been able to provide Lia with more? Would my house really be cleaner? Would Lia be able to count to 20 by now?
Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe I would have taken that time for granted. Or just become more selfish and want more independence.
Knowing me---it would have been a little bit of both.
I think this year I've spent working has shown me how precious Lia is. And how the time I spend with her are treasures.
Maybe I'll be a better mother now because I want to be so badly--because being away from her and wanting her to have so much more has shown me how much I've dropped the ball.
They say its all about the quality time--not the quantity of time... that is what i need to work on. Quality. I find that I being so impatient and tired affects my quality.
I need to be better.
I need to be more patient.