Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Newborn-two weeks down & a lifetime to go


I'm so incredibly happy to have baby Maggie. Thank God that He knows more than I do. Thank God that He is in charge of my life, and I'm not. Thank God that His plans for my life are wiser and better than my plans. In reality, I've yet to plan a child. I don't know the feeling of "trying" to have a kid. Both of my children were wonderful little surprises :D Quite honestly, I'm pretty certain that had I been left to plan that part of my life, I probably would not have any kids!

But one thing I wish I would have planned better was what to do with this angel baby once we come home. I don't remember being this insecure the  first time around. I double-guess every single decision or thought I have as to the proper way to react or proceed in any given situation. What is with this insecurity? I keep trying to go with the flow, but then something inside me screams, "You're messing up. You're not doing this right."


Monday, April 16, 2012

Quotes of Late

Me: Don't let that cat in here. I want him to think a fire-breathing dragon lives in this room.

Lia: Look at her smell holes.
   (Aka: Nostrils)

Lia to her Gma who's come to visit: Wanna see all the ants in my room?!?!?!?!

Lee: Your mom's gonna be here at 1:50 and it's already 1 o'clock!!...(Looks at the clock and its 11:45).


Sunday, April 15, 2012

Newborn, Week Two: What did I get myself into?

So Maggie made 1 week on Friday, and week 2 has been filled with worry that I'm not doing this right. I can't sleep at night. I can't nap during the day. I'm consumed with, "Am I letting her nap too much? Is she getting enough milk? Should I have her on some sort of schedule like they do in BabyWise? Am I feeding her too often. Should I change her diaper while she napping or let her sleep? Should I change her diaper before or after I nurse....."

It's endless.

All this led me to start searching the internet for sleep schedules and feeding schedules for newborns, and I've learned 2 things on this search journey.

1. Newborns make their own schedules and God designed it that way. So if that kid wants to eat, feed him. And if that kid wants to sleep, let him.

2. There are too many resources in this world. Too many experts writing too many books about stuff that is instinctual and common sensical, and all its good for is to make us second-guess ourselves as mothers and wives BUT ESPECIALLY as mothers.

From this point forward I'm leaning on God and His holy Spirit to lead me. To give me strength in the endless nights and patience during  the busy and loud days.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Cloth Diapering: my first week

There are so many blogs, websites, youtube videos devoted to cloth diapering and why it's awesome and why it's best for your baby and yadda yadda yadda...

Lemme just tell you from an honest, non-biased perspective what I've learned from my very first week of cloth diapering my newborn.


My daughter Maggie was born last Friday. We were released from the hospital Saturday night, and since Saturday night I've been cloth diapering, with the exception of a few disposables here and there (mostly for the benefit of having my husband change a diaper, since he's uber-uncomfortable with the cloth ones so far....don't get me wrong though, he's pretty bad with the disposables too!)

Mythbuster time:

Myth #1: Cloth diapers take longer to change than disposables---TRUE!
-While I'm not going to exaggerate and say that it takes 10X longer or anything like that, it does indeed take longer to do a diaper change and all around diaper care than disposables. I read a blog somewhere that said "it's as easy as 1,2,3." Okay yeah putting the baby in the diaper takes three steps, and we can ALL master three steps but there are other more time consuming steps too...
Step 1: Theres removing the soiled diaper and  putting it aside for further care. *Notice I said remove and not get rid of or dispose. There's a reason for this, once i get to the later steps*

Step 2: clean baby (normal)

Step 3: put on fitted or pre-fold diaper onto baby. The fitted ones have velcro or snaps. The prefolds require a snappy or pin.

Step 4: Place cover.

Here's the doozy:

Step 5: Clean the poop off the original diaper.
---So I read somewhere---Newborn poop is runny and water soluble, you can just stick in the washer and it comes right out. Well it didn't work like that for me! I had poop all over everything in that washer-- the other diapers, the machine.... It was horrible and had to do another load, and let me just tell you--having to use all that water does not make me happy. Thankfully we purchased a diaper sprayer that attaches to the toilet. (and it leaks! but we're learning to deal with it--that's another story) Anyways back to the poop.

Here's my system:
- take poopy diaper to toilet.
-spray poop into toilet.
-wring out sopping wet diaper into toilet
-spray stains with enzyme spray
-place diaper into diaper pail.

So Yeah putting the diaper on is easy as 1.2.3, but the general process is much longer!

Myth #2: Cloth diapers stink--False
--No they don't. (that one was easy)

Myth #3: Cloth diapers work just as well as disposables
--Yes and no.
The baby is definitely wetter. I find this kind of concerning because I'm worried that the wetness will cause rashes and even though I change her super often, she seems to be in a perpetual state of laying on wet cloths, which I would think is very uncomfortable. I mean when my clothes get wet, and I have to sit in it for a while, I'm uncomfortable.
But this wetness comes with a good reason. I've eliminated all those chemicals and other unnatural substances from her skin by not putting her in a disposable. So while disposables do keep the baby drier (which in the middle of the night when I'm exhausted and really don't feel like getting up to change another diaper, sounds realllllllyyyyyyy tempting!) the cloth diapers keep the baby more natural. (I won't say healthier because I'm not sure if there are any health concerns about diapers. I do know that environmentally all that waste is terrible. There are statistics somewhere on the internet that says a baby goes through a ton of diapers in his lifetime or something outrageous like that.)  But healthier, I'm not sure. Maggie has a little redness on her bottom, and I'm wondering if it isn't from all that wet cloth on her butt.

So these are my discoveries after a week.

I've also done about 5 loads of diapers in the washer so far. (The drier is running right now actually)
Use the hot/cold.

Now that didn't seem like a positive review, but it's only because those were the things that I had optimistically believed when reading about this process that turned out to not be so exact. All in all, Im happy about them. They aren't difficult to use (just more time consuming).  I'm adjusting.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

My Induction

No not into the Best Moms on Earth Hall-of-Fame, but the official eviction notice of baby girl #2.
I knew that it was protocol to schedule an induction when you've gone past your due date, so today when the surgery nurse calls at 11:30AM to say that I'm scheduled for Sunday morning, I was nervous but felt relieved that I had a little time for this child to come naturally and spontaneously.  Imagine my surprise when she calls back around 2 to say... Ummmm never mind. We need you to come in tonight. There's a scheduling conflict. Its now or never. She starts talking about me being in risk for a c-section. And how, after I practically wigged out on the phone about why on God's green Earth would I be at risk for cesarian?!?!?!, this is the first time that she's ever had a woman not want to be induced and how everyone else was usually like "okay let's do it."

So I literally spent 2+hours crying, wigging out, and talking to the surgery nurse, until FINALLY and ingeniously, my sister-in-law advised me to tell the nurse that I no longer wanted to communicate with her, but instead to have the doctor call  and advise me, which he did!

And he calmed my nerves. He said that if I were his wife, he would have me come in tonight. That it was in the best interest of the baby. And in a metaphor that I found more endearing than offensive, he compared my pregnancy to baking cookies, saying that he prefers his cookies chewier rather than crispy, and right now this baby's getting crispy. He let me know that I'm at lowest risk NOW and that the risk only increases as time passes.

So all this to say that I'm heading to the hospital tonight by 8:30 and that I'll have a baby by tomorrow. While it's not the way I wanted for all this to happen, I am confident that God is with me and will watch over my family. Thanks to all of you for your prayers.

And as a side note. Just minutes ago, my husband came up to me with this to say:

Lee: Can we just take a moment to massage each other, I have so much stress and pains....?

[What does he know about stress and pains! hahahah]

Monday, April 02, 2012

Waiting

Sitting alone
Speaking to no one
Listening to the hum of my ceiling fan set to high,
I'm on edge.
Every crack and pop of settling furniture and walls
Causes my head to turn.
Every second that has passed
Since their departure,
Has been spent in this fashion--
Anxiously awaiting their return.
I've settled into a state of constant anticipation.