A little self-reflection.
Soon after writing my last post, admitting my complete failure at devoting myself to Christ as I had planned to do this Lent, I picked up my bible--something I haven't done in months.
This bible is tattered and torn, highlighted, underlined, creased, and thoroughly thumbed through all in my quest for salvation and understanding. Yet its disuse was evident, perhaps not by an outsider, but completely apparent in my heart and attitude. I opened it up for the first time in such an incredibly long time and flipped through the pages; bright yellow, green and pink catching my eye as the pages quickly flipped back and forth--highlights of favorite passages that had gotten me through the toughest times in my life.
I felt like I was rekindling a relationship with a friend long lost. I felt shame and guilt. I felt excitement--you know that kind of excitement when you suddenly remember a story about a friend you once had.
And then the truth hit me. I had replaced my bible with other novels. I had replaced the time I spent reading my bible with reading romances, fantasies, histories, biographies and anything else I could get my hand on.
See I know in my heart that God doesn't want me to stop reading books and building my library. He gave me a passion for reading and learning for a reason. But what I also know is that I cannot allow those other passions to replace my God in my life. He is my first love, and I must always remember to make Him first in my life.
So I've started a bible study to take me through the rest of Lent. We're reading through Matthew, and I've decided to double up my reading until I've caught up. I know, I know... it's not good to take on too much, and I agree that I don't want to get burned out, but I also know that I NEED to follow through with at least one commitment.
Finally, my friends, I ask for your prayers and encouragement.
This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.