Who me?

Nobody's perfect.--cliche of the century right? As a society we can excuse the most horrible of personality traits by rationalizing that really "no one's perfect."

The funny thing about it is that TRULY no one is perfect. As Christians we are no more flawless than non-christians. We struggle with the same temptations, vices, flaws, genetic dispositions, etc that everyone else has, yet we are called to hold ourselves at a higher standard.

Absolutely understandable and just. Don't you agree?

Ugh there's nothing worse than a judgmental Christian or an angry Christian or an ugly (in personality not looks) Christian, right!?!? Aren't they the ones that "ruin it for the rest of us." They yell "Gays are going to HELL!" and other horrendous, judgmental, mean things that are so unchristian-like it takes your breath away. Or a Christian who beats his wife. Or a Christian who molests. Or a Christian who steals... Hypocrites--ey?

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." [1 Timothy 1:15-16]

And then there are those Christians that have never done a truly sinful thing in their whole lives. They said a cuss word once upon a time, or kissed a guy under the bleachers in the 10th grade, but really delving into the darkest parts of their human nature, they have never tread.  Don't we look at those and say "What the hell do you know of my struggles?"  Oh yeah?! What do you know about hitting rock bottom? What do you know of conquering addiction? What have you ever experienced that you can understand/relate/empathize with me other than your observations of other sinful people?!

"No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it..."  C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.

What about the rest of us? The been-there/done-that crowd. Searching for the Kingdom. Searching for strength that all these people write about and yet we've never felt. Searching to be a leader and a beacon  and an example, while struggling to stay afloat. Praying to be a better spouse, better parent, better Christian, better person, while stumbling our ways to salvation. The moderates. The luke warm?
If we struggle with sin but are trying, does that mean we are in any way qualified to lead? If we stumble and trip our ways through life but dust off our skirts and keep walking forward, does that at all make us role models? Where do we fit in?


Psalm 103:8-14(NIV)

⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
   slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
   nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
   or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
 ¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.

Is blood truly thicker than water?

I think certain types of "blood" are: your mom and dad, your sister and brother, your husband or wife, your child.

Had you asked me 2+ years ago that list would have been so much longer, but now.... I don't agree.

I think Some blood is thicker than water. Maybe it's just my family. Maybe I'm the one to blame, but really when I sit and think about the way some of my family has neglected, abandoned, slandered, and avoided me, I've given up on thinking that you can rely on anyone but those that either birthed you, were birthed by the same people as you or helped you birth someone else.

Can't believe it's that time again

In 4 weeks or so my daughter turns another year older, and there has been so much going on that I barely remembered that I AM responsible for planning the party and sending the invites, and deciding the budget, and the menu, and the guest list, and the location, and the list goes on....

As a party planner I have to say that while I'm not Martha Stewart or anything, I do enjoy throwing a successful party. Last year I planned my butt off, and I don't think it was that successful. Thank goodness Lia was only 4 and didn't realize that everyone showed up an hour late and we only had 15 minutes to eat and sing happy birthday before the "nice" museum people kicked us out of the room.

I had never had such a nerve-racking, disappointing, but then redeeming party experience in my life. I was literally heartbroken for an entire hour thinking no one was going to show up, and then EVERYONE did, just really late.

I really don't want that to happen again. It makes me apprehensive spending money on reserving a location like I did last year, because while the museum play time was really fun, I could have just bought everyone tickets and paid less money than I did for a room we barely used.

So what do I do? I live in an apartment so theres no yard. I could do it at a park, but I'm so nervous that it'll rain or something equally as terrible. I could reserve a place like a jump house, but I don' t want a repeat of last year. The thought really stresses me out.

I've seen so many awesome parties on blogs that I follow and usually I'm great at these kinds of things, but I've become gun shy.

I need some ideas.

HELP!

Streaming

Cascading tears,

Daily cries

In constant heart break.

I feel

Intensely.

My soul cries out to you, O God.

My body thrashes in agony, Dear Lord.

Prayers.

How many more prayers would it take?

How many more pleas of mercy do you need?

Father, I will give you all and more

To relieve your poor servant's pain.

Peace

Super natural healing

Relief

Purification

You, O Lord, hold the power.

To you, O Lord I lift my voice to praise

For your endless grace upon my life,

But Oh Lord, the pain I feel from afar

Consumes me.

Painful visions.

Painful realities

That are not my own.

But I hold on to the truths that I've learned.

I hold on to the knowledge of your wisdom.

I hold on to the experience of your forgiveness.

I hold on to the hope of redemption.

I need to trust in you more.

I need to release this sadness and embrace the happiness

Of the good you've brought about in a poor child's suffering.

Hold on to the lives he's changed and transformed, including my own.

Slowly I feel myself melting.

Hopefully releasing the control and boundaries I've made for myself,

and instead joining in your infinite existence. 

I lift him up to you with joyfulness. 

He who deserves paradise more than most.

He who will be made whole in your loving embrace.

Delve

Made me Laugh--

!!!!You'll have to excuse the profanity!!!!!  If you can see past his potty mouth, he may just make you smile.  As a Catholic, this really cracked me up.  If you grew up Catholic or went to Catholic school, some parts of this are brilliant.

Enjoy:

One Flesh

It's that one flesh principal
That we are called to,
That submissive role
That I'm expected to honor.
Being that right-hand man
or Woman, in this case,
That always trips me up.
Would things really get better
If I acted like
You are always right?
Would life get smoother
If I acted like
Yours are the best ideas?
Would things get easier
If I acted like
Father knows best?
Would I get happier
If I surrendered all of my will
To yours?
Is that supposed to be my prayer?
Lord, teach me how to let him think for me?
I struggle, my friends.
I struggle with being a daughter of Eve.
I struggle with knowing what I'm called to do
And what I need to do,
And what I want to do,
And what feels right to do,
And what I actually do,
And the results of those actions,
And the results of my inactions.

Delve