Friday, September 21, 2012

An Infamously Crappy Mom

Crappy mothers from around the globe have united at Just Add Cloth. I often struggle with mommy guilt over mistakes I've made or just out of my laziness. But tonight I have decided to put aside my guilt and be a "mommy martyr" no more. I've compiled a list of my offenses for anyone out there with stones to throw.

1. I'm a cosleeping mom. I've yet to roll over any of my children, and they seem to be thriving.
2. I often read all day and all night long. Holding but rarely looking at my kids until reality strikes (usually when I have to go pee.)
3. My 5 month old gets a bath about every 2 weeks. (the rest of the time I wipe her neck and underarms and apply a generous amount of baby powder to mask any stankiness)
4. My 5 year old eats cereal for 2 out of 3 meals almost every day she's home.
5. I can't wait for my baby to sleep through the night and start eating food, so that I can go out dancing and have at least 2 mixed drinks.
6. I once put my baby in the laundry basket while I was trying to load the washer in the laundry room....she just wouldn't let me put her down anywhere else. I called it a compromise.
7. I often run errands just so that I can get away from my family for a while; then when I arrive at home, I chill in the car for 30+mins while reading a book.

Wait...there's more
8. I convinced Lia that if she ate sugar all her teeth would fall out her mouth.
9. I frighten/threaten my child w/ grotesque imagery ie. You'll poke your eyeballs out, You'll get run over by a car and be squished flat as a pancake, etc..
10. I told my 5 year old that Santa Clause does NOT exist!

These are only a few of my transgressions, my friends. But I'm not the only crappy mom out there, I assure you! Visit Just Add Cloth and stand in awe of an entire community of the crappiest moms in the world.


  1. Haha! I love number three! I'm just as bad at giving my kids baths!

    1. Glad I'm not the only one. I'm trying to get better :D

  2. this is fun. i could make a ginormous(that would be one of them- that i use and teach my kids words that originate from silly movies-elf- as though they are real words) list of things.

    1. ginormous is as good a word as any!


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