Put myself out there

Didn't let the flat tires deter me

From setting out into the warm sun

And the cool breeze

Clear skies

And a new lease

On life

With fresh eyes

and my soul set free

From the darkness that was cast upon me.

There it is

Took a minute
But now I see
What I was missing
Was humility--
The power to make
My life and wants smaller
All while making
Your greatness taller,
Bolder,
Stronger,
Right to the front
Of my mind and my thoughts.
See I knew something was wrong!
I had belief
But no love.
I had knowledge
With no awe.
And it took one dancing child
With her arms raised high
And her joyful smile
And her gleaming eyes
Bursting with gladness flowing from inside
To remind
Me of the happiness that comes
From being a child of the most high one.
So here it goes:
"Glory Glory Glory
To the Lord God Almighty,"
As I join with the chorus
of the Angels on high
That with every breath
Proclaim with pride
That they surrender their lives
To their Lord Jesus Christ.

I went home

I recently traveled back to New Orleans after being away for over 3 years. I didn't take my husband or kids. It was just me---traveling solo.
And it was the most liberated I have felt in ages. I was able to visit everyone i wanted for as long as I wanted without having to feel guilty for leaving my kids to be taken care of or having to beg Lee to come along. I was in complete control.

I went to a wedding and danced.
I went to a bar and played pool all night.
I drove to the lower 9th, to arabi, to marrero, to kenner, to terry town, to boomtown casino!

Just everywhere.

The love that I received was overwhelming. People who love and miss me were just lavishing me with attention and nothing on this planet could have prepared me for it.

Trust me, I feel like God brought us to Raleigh and he has plans for our lives here, but what I have back in New Orleans is special. I have history and deep affection. I forgot about that...

Challenge pt 1

I decided to challenge myself to write something happy. But I needed inspiration. So I've put together a series of photographs that I've taken through the years and allowed them to take me back to that place--of joy, or warmth, or peace, or contentment. 

Dappled
Beneath the broad and cool canopy
Of your heart-shaped leaves
Once deep burgundy
Have now turned green
Peaceful and quiet
tranquil yet defiant
Through the rustles and creeks
That the wind
Uses to welcome and greet.

Mini-breakdown

My mind is in a state of change--

insecure and unfastened.

My spirit slightly broken,

Bruised, and disheartened.

"You think too much" 

"You push too much"

"Just let it go"

"Just let them be"

And deep inside I keep wondering

"Why does it always have to be me?"

The one to apologize

The one to adjust

The one to bend

And the one to rush

To take on so much

For those who care so little

And with every breath

Condemn and belittle

All that I do

And all that I care for

Without any concern for the time

And the effort 

I invest in this chore?

Give me a break!

My goodness, My God!

I do this because I love.

And I don't need any thanks or any praise

But some Grace

Would be nice.

And some flexibility 

Would be great!

And just like the words on this page

All blurted out and spewed all over

My hurt is dulled

And my spirit glazed over

With the numbing mist

That it instinctively applies

When little chips and little hurts

Expose the tender me inside.

Mending and strengthening

Until the next injury arrives.