Is keeping me up tonight.
Ever say something, you had no business saying? Ever repeat someone else's business when it wasn't your place? My goodness do I have no freaking self control?
My 3 year old is in her second year of preschool and from the start it has been a bumpy road.
-connecting with the teacher
-feeling comfortable with the extremely regimented schedule
-doubting the effectiveness of the classroom environment
and at some point several of the mothers have voiced concerns about either the school, teacher, or their own child.
Who the hell am I to repeat someone else's concerns? I should be worrying about MY concerns, MY insecurities and doubts... I should be a supportive and trustworthy friend whom you should be able to entrust with your feelings and doubts. Do I have no self control that I feel the need to voice my opinion about everything? Am I that wise that I need to chime in on someone else's hardships?
The answer to those questions is: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Its disgusting. Even though I was speaking to one of my best friends and am able to confide in her wholly and thoroughly, it still left a bad taste in my mouth. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, but not all opinions are positive or encouraging or understanding.
And while I consider myself to be a supportive friend, it is also really difficult for me to hold my tongue when I think you're wrong. I always feel compelled to let you know that I think you're wrong. But that shouldn't be my place. As a friend I should support you when your wrong, celebrate with you in times of joy, mourn with you in times of sorrow, pray with you in times of hardship, and because of the love I have for you I should never voice any of those events to someone it does not concern.
This berating on my peace is my conscience lashing out--Teaching me a lesson to respect and put into practice the qualities of a good friend. I will take this and learn from it. I will be more thoughtful of my words and feelings--immediately putting in check any feelings or opinions that are not positive or helpful. I should be a fountain of living waters not a pit of self-gratifying opinions.
Amen
Like the rest of us, you're human. You're a work in progress. Your self-reflection shows how much you put your whole heart into a relationship. You were born to be a good friend. It's obvious because you care so much about how your actions and words affect another. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI think if you really love your friend, then it is almost an obligation to, at the very least, suggest a different opinion, view, or plan. If you've learned from mistake that your friend is getting ready to make, why not suggest something different if it is done in love?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment on my blog! You definitely have a unique way of writing :-)