When Lia was born, every second was its own precious moment. Each tick of the clock memorable and priceless. The time FLEW, and the weeks and months would pass in a flash, leaving me grasping at the fleeing coattails of time.
Five and a half years later, I all too often allow my kid to watch hours of television, while I clean and sit and check facebook and whatever other unproductive, un-impactful activity I can find to occupy my time other than staring at her beautiful face trying to remember every single line and freckle. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if I'll remember this moment. Will I remember this little song she made up? Will I remember this funny little dance she's doing, and I try desperately to imprint it on my soul so that it becomes a part of who I am. So the next time I laugh or sing or dance, somewhere deep inside is the spirit of a little girl forever preserved in my eternal soul.
I honestly believe that my purpose for living is to be Lia's mother, and surely once we have our newest baby girl, my purpose will include her as well.
So I've spent these last 3 months dedicated to becoming a better mother. And being present in Lia's life in a way that I hadn't been the last year and a half of working outside the home. And trying to make memories. And attempt to become a better version of myself. I can't say if it worked, but I can say I tried....
It is working! You are doing great.,I was thinking the same about my kids and tv. Looking on the net flicks recently viewed and I am embarrassed about the retard amount they watch. Last week I resolved that this is the week to change things. I am so weak
ReplyDeleteYou will remember the "magical" even in the ordinary. You have tuned yourself in. That's what it takes to make parenting nourish your soul too. Well written my friend.
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