oh when them saints

I've never been in a point in my life where nothing made me happy. I have been depressed and cried up to 4 times a day but at some point i would laugh about something or calm down.

i came across someone today that cannot find ANYTHING to make her happy. how can that be? she focuses on how meaningless life is, and how there is no point to living, but then if life had no meaning that would make living a hell of a lot more fun. i mean think about it. if you just died and nothing happened then all your sacrificing and energizing towards goodness would be a waste. If i thought life had no meaning thats when i would start focusing on me. do whatever i want. but then what if there were nothing i wanted? where would i go from there? it would be a living hell. like thirst that never goes away. I think when you have faith in something life becomes happy. Faith in Jesus, Faith in Allah, Faith in Buddah, Faith in something other than yourself, you get a purpose and a goal and tasks to fill up your day. like George Michael says "gotta have faith"

Saturday

so i went on another fishing trip on saturday. We started out a little later this time around because the morning looked like horrible weather. But it ended up being a great day. We had some trouble starting the boat, but then once we got out there and we saw the bugs and water and turtles and the ALIGATOR, it was wonderful. i think the summer is going to bring good times. hopefully the hurricane season doesnt interfere with that.

New Picture ALERT

There are pics up of my two fishing trips and some that i took of my family. Which i LOVE. Check them out. They are a little piece of me.

Infamous Pic Page Click Here

Friday

So this friday is my last day of work and i'm feeling kind of sad. At first i thought i hated my job, but then i realized it wasnt my job it was where i was working... the office i mean. it was just overly ridiculous and not productive, but since i moved to the new orleans office i've been happy. i've been able to tolerate the day, and laugh and have a good time and pass the day. I am always busy but in a good way. I'm not busy answering phones or filing like i was before. I'm busy doing what i was hired to do which is to WORK, legal work AND i love it. i'm kind of sad that it is all ending. i just got to that office. it just got good. i just started to get happy and now i have to go. but there are many reasons for that. i just wish that they werent there. I wish that life was the way it was 5 months ago. i thought i was on the right track and i was happy and everything was going good. I was moving on and moving forward and now i've hit a wall. When am i ever going to find peace?

Jury duty

not much to say except that i sat in a room for hours and then i ended up being dismissed [everyone did] by mid day and thats it. that was my whole jury duty experience. pretty cool but at the same time i was excited to see the trial and the judge and how the attorneys worked the stage.

Best Weekend Ever

ok so since i live in a predominately catholic state most businesses get off for good friday during easter holidays... other people call it spring break.. anyways i ended up having a 3 day weekend and it was wonderful!

On friday i ended up going crabbing with lee's guy friends on the lake... [i had NO idea i was going to be the only chick. i think they wanted to have a guys day out and then i tagged along but considering i had the best time ever i dont regret going lol] well i got sunburnt to a crisp and now i'm all itchy and peeling but ITS GREAT! i finally got sun and i FINALLY did something.

On saturday i ran a few errands but really i got nothing done but spend money on nothingness. i bought breakfast, snowballs, cheap sunglasses, groceries... it was ridiculous. later that night there was a party by lee's best friend's house and it was a lot of fun.

Easter sunday i spent with lee and his mother and then lee and i went and ate dinner with my cousins.

It was finally a memorable weekend. filled with fun and good times and relaxation and happiness. and i really needed.

My semester is finally over

Ok so my semester ended with a bang. I got into a fight with a professor on the DAY of my final, in which he said many horrible things to me like..."i would have made you suffer severely..." and "i dont threaten people- i get even"

which sent me crying hysterically all the way to the dean's office where i TOLD ON HIM! i cannot afford to have any professor mess up my grades because he is old and cranky. anyways i got my grades today and i'm happy to say that they are all A's but unfortunately i have to take that teacher next semester for a 400 level english course. The department head said i would be able to substitute it for another because he was just too horrible to me. wish me luck guys... i only have a week and a half then i start spring semester on the 1st of may!

I havent been blogging much

but i'm sure you know that. its just that this is finals week and considering that i'm the laziest person in the whole world. i left all of my studying and assignments till the last moment and now im struggling to get it all done. I took my first finals today: Biology and Beethoven. My music professor said that i got an A and i'm 100000000% POSITIVE that i got an A in my bio so i only have 3 more classes to try and ace. wish me luck guys!! now i'm gunna go do some more work.

Junk food junkie

i eat so much trash throughout the day that i can literally feel bootie dimples developing. its crazy, but i'm getting obsessed with looking at how fat i'm becoming but then i do NOTHING to stop it. i keep eating TRASHY NASTY food and i dont work out to save my life. this is not good.

One of my many character flaws

I always push away the people that make me the happiest. I cling to those that make me miserable. Then i get depressed because i have no happiness in my life. well i'm going to stop that today. Im not going to lose my happiness anymore.

I will be less selfish. i will try to live my life for someone elses happiness as well. maybe that'll help me get my head out of my OWN ass, and realize that there are more people involved in my life than just me.