Haiku.... yes please

Today's Topic: Aftermath

I am left reeling,

After this long year of changes,

After the growing,

After the living,

After so many goodbyes;

I begin anew--

With much better friends

And all of my family--

minus a couple.

This year I have learned
Many harsh lessons of life.
Stronger, I've become. 

From this point forward
I promise to allow God
to help me improve.

Ridiculous Wednesday!

Like Twins RIGHT?!???!?!

Tan Much??!?!?

You're Welcome!

Fuming!

I am realistic when it comes to relationships.  Be them friendships or family or anyone really. I have full faith that there are people brought into your life to help you grow, to teach you something about life or of yourself or of others... Basically there are many reasons that the people in your life are meant to be there. But that doesn't mean that they have to REMAIN in your life. Sometimes friendships end. Sometimes bonds are broken. Sometimes those breaks are gradual and soft. Sometimes they are harsh and painful. But it happens. It's meant to happen.  I can forgive and move on while still not incorporating that person intimately into my life again.

But its those people that so obviously have a problem and yet they deny, they sugarcoat, they avoid, they ignore..... you. They are spineless. They are two-faced. They are weasels. They are hurtful.

I can respect a person who has an issue with me and tells me and at the end of the day we know where we stand. I cannot respect a person who has an issue with me but doesn't tell me and at the end of the day I have no idea what's going on and why.

What my daughter says....

Lee: Ugh! It stinks in this car!
Lia: It doesn't stinks... You stinks....

Mother of the year award goes to.......

Thank you! You like me you REALLY like me :)  Here's the awesome event that earned me the nomination....
Because I'm forever the living embodiment of patience, grace, and understanding whilst in front of my daughter-- I could have in no way totally freaked-out had a disagreement over the phone with my husband.... Okay so maybe I did, and here's why!

He took my check book without telling me! Which means that hours later when at the check out counter with a basket full of groceries/presents/gift wrap for Christmas I had NO MONEY. Nothing. And if that has ever happened to you, you must know that 1. the check out lady is not at all happy with you 2. the rest of the people in line are VERY unhappy with you 3. I'm embarrassed and furious for being in this situation

WHere is it?!??!!? Where did I put it?!?!?!? It was in here yesterday!!!!!! (I think to myself) Then like a light bulb turned on in my mind.... I call my husband.

DO YOU HAVE MY CHECK BOOOOOK!!!!!! (yes) WHY DIDN'T YOU FREAKING TELL ME YOU TOOK MY CHECK BOOK OUT OF MY PURSE. I'M AT TARGET. WITH NO MONEY....

It goes on. I'm not proud.

So the genius that I am.... I travel down to a branch of my bank that happens to be just down the street. I grab cash, head back to Target, and THANKFULLY the cashier had suspended my purchase. I paid and was out of there. That wig out spectacle seemed a little overblown after that, I must admit.

That night, while putting Lia to sleep, we start our prayers.  Mine were the usual: thank you for my beautiful daughter.  Hers had a twist... It wasn't the usual: thank you for my toys. Instead tonight she said: Thank you for mommy's check book.    !!!OH MY!!! I was laughing and embarrassed all over again.

Buzzzz

The numbing, blurring, holiday-induced daze
has me in a tight embrace.
I've discovered new and effective ways
to spend money at a dizzying pace.

Fortunately for my husband,
who works hard day in and day out
I've not had to borrow or lend;
But of what so far spent--I've long lost count.

Not Me Monday --Sunday edition

I most certainly did not forget to bring my wallet with me to Church on Sunday. So that when we all went to lunch afterward I had NO reason to borrow money from my friend to pay for my husband, my daughter, and myself. That would be just too inconsiderate. Totally unlike me.

Deciding to drop my husband off at home afterward so that I could pick up my wallet and then go shopping with my friend was a brilliant idea. So of course I didn't mess it all up by dropping Lee off and then forgetting to pick up my wallet for the second time that day.

And because I'm always on top of things... It did NOT take me until we were at Target doing last minute Christmas shopping to realize I did not have my wallet once AGAIN!

Nope. Not me. 


And like always... one for the road:
I do not insist to leave my notebook at home instead of taking it to church with me. So that every week when I go to mass, I do NOT have to write all my notes on the back of envelopes, receipts, and random little pieces of papers I find in my purse. I'm always prepared. 

My original Sunday Citar--lengthy and taboo

*saved as draft earlier today. Do you ever have a post that your afraid to publish? Ever wonder what people will think? Ever feel apprehensive that some may not like what you've written. Earlier in my blogging life I had no apprehensions. I typed and published. Now I feel a little more nervous. should i feel this way? I dunno. Well  I said to heck with judgements. and here is the post...* 

Some quotes from author Christopher Moore's books (previously alluded to here)

"I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something."
— Christopher Moore (Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal)


""You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm."
"No kidding?" said Josh.
"Why do I waste my time with you?""
— Christopher Moore (Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal)



"Cofishes--other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word."
— Christopher Moore (Fool: A Novel)



"Sarcasm will make your tits fall off."
— Christopher Moore (Fool: A Novel)


His books have made me literally laugh out loud. They are crude and perhaps many will find them offensive. But although his protagonists are lewd, vulgar, and even immoral at times, he finds a way to portray them so endearingly that you can't help but laugh and side with them in all things.  I wouldn't recommend these books to some because of the rated R writing... and its totally understandable how one may be sensitive toward some topics he touches upon in his novels. But for those with a little tougher hide, these books are beautiful. His characters are down-to-earth and charming and worth the read. 


Here's his author description for his novel: Christopher Moore began writing at the age six and became the oldest known child prodigy when, in his early thirties, he published his first novel. Chris enjoys cheese crackers, acid jazz, and otter scrubbing and lives in an inaccessible island fortress in the Pacific.


And if he doesn't sound like your cup of tea... no worries... After I finish his novel "You Suck" a vampire romance, I'm reading Parenting with Love and Logic. My husband is currently reading it, and he is really enjoying it. It is a stern, honest and Christian perspective on parenting. 

Sunday Citar

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it. --CP Snow

The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it. --Al Batt

And a few funny ones for the road

A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth. --George Bernard Shaw

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. --George Burns

My fragmented Friday

Not sure how true to Friday Fragments this post will be, but I have a very fragmented Friday ahead of me. I'm currently blogging while my daughter enjoys her breakfast and some Imagination Movers....

***I've fallen in love with another author. For a long LONG while I spent all of my reading on the Brilliant, talented, amazing, scruptious writing of Neil Gaiman---Stardust, American Gods, Anansi Boys, Good Omens, Fragile Things, Smoke and Mirrors.......etc (even his children's books ie. The Graveyard Book! excellent) Well when i reached the point where i had read all of his novels and his short stories and most of his poetry, I decided it was time to try a new author-And can you believe I found a new love! CHRISTOPHER MOORE ( not that guy who makes those controversial movies...) This Moore wrote Lamb: the gospel according to Biff, Jesus's childhood pal, Fool, Fluke;or I know why the winged whale sings.  Now I've only read Lamb and Fool so far, but he has captured me. 

**I will continue on to read some more of his stuff and let you know what I think!

***Ugh I watched MTV the other day and was disgusted by the portrayal of women and the treatment of women by the male stars of their shows.  Those Real World/Road Rules challenges are getting grotesque.  The men have no respect for women.  The ladies(loose interpretation for the women on those shows but still!) are ridiculed, teased, cursed at, humiliated.... its revolting.

***My daughter got married this week.... she's three! She describes her husband differently every time. Originally he was black and wore black clothes, and they had met in New Orleans.  Then he was pink with pink eyes but they still met in New Orleans.  Now he's shifted into Prince Eric (from The Little Mermaid) 

She cracks me up! :D

Quotes of Late

Lee: If my friends ever found out, I would be humilified

Jillien: Cmon Lia..Lets go to the *stutters* pum... pum... potty. 

Lia: pum pum potty. pum pum potty. 

Lia: I have a husband.. He's pink... I met him in New Orleans.


Bueno: Hey! Watch out Swirvey McChange Lanes.

Haiku! (a day late)

This week’s theme is: Guilty Pleasure?

SaraLee Pound Cake,

I am forever tempted

To eat all of you!

And by all of you

I mean every package made--

And all by myself.

Too much?

and if you don't know what I'm talking about.... you've never ever visited this blog before this moment.

Lee's Response to my poem: Somewhere between then and now.

Could it be the imaginary-words locked in the scope of two minds?
Could it be the usual-emotive moments that are withheld in secrecy?
Could it be a wishful bond that never gets the chance to connect?
Something might be gone soon.
It is the generic disguise that will surely make this a mystery.

Somewhere between then and now

It may all soon be gone.

The never-words stifled in our throats.

The rare-emotive moments closed forever.

There may never be another opportunity

For me to hear what you never intended to say.

Christmas Tag-along

My friend, Kelly over at My Voice My View, tagged me to play this fun Christmas meme. Bring it on!!!


Have you started your Christmas shopping? I'm almost there. I've got everyone but my parents, in-laws, husband, nephews, sister and grandma.... HmmMmMmMmMmM Okay I'm a lot less prepared than I thought!

Tell me about one of your special traditions. None. My parents are NOT the celebratory type. We barely even had a real tree most Christmases... did you read my post about the Christmas branch?!?!?

Are you a Black Friday shopper?  I went out on Black Friday and spent a fortune. Nothing I wanted was on sale! I'm the worst shopper ever.

When do you put up your tree?  I put it up the week after Thanksgiving. But i still don't have a full size tree. I have a forest of miniature trees that I've been collecting. All about a foot tall... Some fiber optic... Some with little ornaments... Some that I have to water!

Do you travel at Christmas or stay home? I travel but not too far. I live in Baton Rouge and we drive down to New Orleans where are families still live.

What is your funniest Christmas memory?  My mom was the only one that was home that Christmas morning. When I woke up, I had a bunch of little gifts: stickers, temporary tattoos, jacks, etc... My mom and I spent christmas morning playing jacks and putting silly tattoos all over me.  Years later i learned that my parents had been really low on cash and the night before Christmas my mom was hysterical because she had no presents for me. She went out to the Dollar General and got all those little gifts for me. Turns out I loved them more than the nintendo, bike, jackets, money that i would receive in the years to follow. 

What is your favorite Christmas movie of all time? I love those claymation movies.... The Rudolf one and the one about the elf with the big ears.... 

Do you do your own Christmas baking? What is your favorite Christmas treat?  I bake all year round.  I'm in a constant state of baking. It will be just another day of baking. I like to make rugelach... Ina Garten has a great recipe!

Fake or real tree? Fake! Less money in the long run. Although in LA they use the Christmas trees as a wetland preservation tool.

What day (as a mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done? Christmas eve. lol I work well under pressure

Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve? Absolutely

What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas? Opening presents

What Christmas craft do you like the best? Oh my goodness... I'm not crafty at all :(

Christmas music. Yes or no, and if yes, what is your favorite song? I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas music.  Favorite song "O Holy Night!" 

When do you plan to finish shopping?  By Christmas eve--definitely hahahah

Gotta Tag it along now:

Jessica

Amy

Nessa

Football Fans?

Well down in Louisiana there are TWO teams that matter, and they are: The Saints and the LSU Tigers!

Now I was born and raised in New Orleans Louisiana. Went to grade school on the west bank in a Catholic co-ed school. Went to high school on the west bank in a Catholic all girl school. Went to college on the west bank in a Catholic private college.... And down on the West Bank--We are Saints Fans!

There are some details you need to know about the Saints before you follow on with the post... The Saints, since the dawn of the franchise, have been losers.  We've never won a Super Bowl... hell we've never won a championship game at all.  We've been close---but never ever have we been winners... that is Until NOW!

Now the Tigers on the other hand, have won THREE National Championships. Have won countless bowl games.... They are truly winners.  Its easy to be a Tiger fan. 

It takes work and dedication to have been a Saints fan. 

I moved to "Tiger Land" Baton Rouge back in 2006... So these past 3 years have given me a respect and love for the Tigers. But the team closest to my heart have always been and will always be the Saints.   

If you follow football you MUST KNOW that the Saints and the Colts share a record of 13 games won with NO loses this season.  That is REMARKABLE.... Not because its 2 teams undefeated, but because the Saints are one of those 2 teams.  

but you better believe that New Orleans the city and the fans within that city and state, for that matter, are the absolute most ENTHUSIASTIC fans on the planet.   (Ever been to an LSU tailgate?  Trust me all of Baton Rouge packs up and travels the USA whenever there's a game.) Football is no joke in Louisiana. 

So if you want a taste of the songs/poems/videos being spread around this incredibly exciting season... here they are!!!!!

To the tune of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer":

"Falcons got runover by the Saints, dear, playin' down in Georgia Sunday eve. You can say there's no such thing as gris-gris, but as for us Who Dat's, we Believe. And we are all so proud of Drew Brees. He's been leading us so well, and we all can't help but wonder, how much ice is building up right now in hell..."

To the tune of "Let it snow":

"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the Saints are so delightful. and the Redskins they helped us go 12 and Oh, 12 and Oh, 12 and 0h!"

 ♫ ♫ City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in black and gold style, in the air there’s a feeling of winning….. Who dats passing, we’re all laughing, this is Drew’s big scene and on every street corner you’ll hear…Super bowl…Super bowl….It’s Super bowl time for this city ….ring a ling, who dats sing…. Saints marching on Super bowl day! ♫ ♫

Not me monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I usually have a ton of things that I've not done, but I have been having a writing rut. So hopefully these couple of things will inspire me for more writing....

~I did NOT lose the belt to a hundred dollar dress. As a result I absolutely did NOT substitute a belt with a long black bra strap, and then wear it out to a baby shower, where I'm sure everyone no one noticed!!
~I've NOT put off cleaning my house since I threw a Pampered Chef party at my home last Thursday evening! That would be HORRIBLE and totally uncharacteristic of me. 

Haiku! My specialty

This week's theme: Spirit of Giving

You chubby old elf--

Threatening my Sanity

And my bank account,

Give me back Saint Nick!

Take your Black Friday maddness.

I will give more Love.

Disgusted--A truthful Tuesday

I admitted to a friend of mine yesterday that I'm disgusted with the consumerism of  Christmas. Because this was my first Christmas, I suppose it was my first time really witnessing how disgusting everyone is around the holidays. It's kind of like, "It's Christmas..... give me an ipod." "I've just gotta buy this video game console soon because Christmas is coming!"

You do not deserve any gifts just because it's Christmas. Everything that you receive is truly an unearned novelty. 
The children at our public library were filling out their lists to santa... and just the fact that there was a list of shit that they wanted grossed me out.  So I modified Lia's, and it read Dear Jesus instead. I made Lia dictate what she was thankful to Jesus for.  Here were some of her thoughts:

1. Thank you for "night time and the stars and my bed."
2. Thank you for "play."
3. Thank you for "presents and owen's presents and princess presents."
4. Thank you for "food."

I'm trying to instill in my daughter a sense of satisfaction. I know she's very young and may not completely understand, but it is so important to me. I guess by telling her I'm reminding myself because it is so easy to get into that mindset that the world owes you something. I'm owed a set of earrings... why ?!?! because its CHRISTMAS! Why else?! 

I feel sort of a like a grinchy beotch when I say these types of things. Really there are two sides to every story, and TRUTH be told I have always been in-love with Christmas. I Love the music, the feeling, the colors, the lights, the ideology. 

So if you want to know....

What do I want for Christmas????

I want to be a better mother. I want to be a beacon of faith and understanding for those around me.I want to be wiser with money.  I need prayers and guidance for Christmas.  I need more Jesus. 

I hope that all of you have a very happy Christmas--filled with family, friends, food, gifts, and cheer. There is something to be said about a gift that comes from the heart with the very intention of making you smile. That thoughtful little something that was just perfect, and which came from a person so intent to make you happy that they struggled over finding the right thing! That is beautiful. That is Christmas.  

Find yourself dancing all night and day?