Praise and Worship

If you've been reading my blog for any given time you know how much I love to perform.

Singing and performing revolutionized my life as an obnoxious, exuberant teen, and it defined me as an adult in college. I finally found something that I could do. I had a voice---a voice that was all my own.

After college, I auditioned for the Baton Rouge Symphony Orchestra and spent 2 amazing years learning opera choruses and really stretching myself as an educated singer. I met my best friend in BRSO, and looking back I think it will be one of my most beautiful memories.

Now, I sing worship at our church on select Sundays, and I'm singing contemporary Christian music and am learning a whole new type of singing. One that requires not only good singing instincts but singing smarts.  I got by in BRSO with my ability to anticipate the music and to hear my fellow Second Sopranos when I needed to find the right key... But singing worship is different. I realize that I don't have the smarts that I'll need to be more of an asset and less of a hassle.

But I have to admit, I love it. I love the band and especially our worship leader. He's patient, talented, level-headed, and easy-going. All the traits necessary for singing along side me week after week. On stage we're the only two voices. Just he and I. No other second sopranos to feed off of or to pick up on the key changes. And while I'm not as good a "harmonizer" as I hope to one day be, I have received enough feedback to realize that we sound good together. It is one of the highest compliments anyone could pay me. See I left my ego in college. In BRSO it was all about being one beautiful cohesive voice. And to feel like I achieve that during worship is a dream.

While I know there is much progress to be made, I just enjoy knowing that my voice melds with his. That through our voices the Spirit of the Lord penetrates the people of Story Church. That my voice isn't abrasive or a distraction from the Holy Spirit working in the hearts of our congregation.

"I cannot sing like someone else. I can only sing like I sing."
--jm

Heart racing
I sit
impatiently.
Waiting to hear
what you thought
of someone else.

Delve

My daughter's birthday

In less than a month, my daughter turns 4.

Four years! and in those four years plus the 40 weeks leading up to that day, my life flipped around and spun around and twisted and transformed.

And time has moved away from me so quickly, I'm left reeling. I can't believe yet another year has passed. Last year Lia had 3 separate birthday celebrations--an abundance of friends and cake and laughter.

So am I going to go through a huge ordeal for her 4th birthday? Her friends are 1000+ miles away. Her family is 500-1000+.

TOTALLY I AM!

Why?

Because it is her birthday, and if anyone remembers that day it's ME for sure. I will celebrate her life. I will try to make it as special as possible, because on that day God changed my life forever. On that day, one i can never forget, I was blessed with Lia.

ITs more a celebration forme than for her.... although I do want her to enjoy :)

My cryptic words

So I called for inspiration and I've spoken in nothing but prose for weeks lol.

Cacophony

I only heard a bit.
A wee bit,
Which definitely showed
You were trying.

But you will hear me.
My voice will trill with praise.
And at the soul--
At the very pit, you will hear God.

7 AM

Seven AM Thoughts.
Rushing,
Hungry Thoughts.
Excited,
Nervous Thoughts
At seven AM.

Laid in bed and watched the sun grow bright.
Remembered my dreams
That consumed my night
All these feelings and faces and bodies
Fill my seven AM thoughts.

Then with some simple taps
I preserve this day
Like a jar of apple butter
Sweet and tantalizing and
Not-too-good-for-you
I store my seven AM thoughts.

Delve

Take A Seat

I sit down...
Some more
With feet aching.
This is a different type of sitting.
This is leisurely sitting...
A sitting filled with depth and longing.
A sitting calmed with rhythmic breathing.
A sitting with eyes closed.
I'm waiting
For the words.
Only words.
No calls
Or orders
Or goals
Or expectations
This sitting is my sitting.
I hum.
And the familiar voice is echoed through my ears and mind
I know this voice and I quickly shut it off
wishing not to make a sound.
I want my body entirely silent.
Just sitting.
This is where I feel my best.
Not on a beach with the bright sun crisping my skin.
Not on a boat ride bouncing on the choppy waves.
But in my room
Darkened room
With no sounds.
Only words.
Silent words.
Oh,
and Sitting, of course.

Exasperation

Its that feeling, ya know?
When the words that shouldn't be said
Blurt out.
When the thoughts that shouldn't be thought
Fumble themselves out your mouth.
Its this feeling I get after every occasion,
After every visit,
After every conversation.
And its because you're new to me.
Its because I'm new to you.
Its because I'm my own harshest critic.
Its because I feel a constant burden to be a beacon of God's love,
Whilst being sinful,
While being flawed.
While being myself and liking who I am
Yet being ashamed of how I feel
Or what I've done.
Or what I said
Or for how I made you feel
Or how I think I made you feel.
And this is all I feel
Every Time
I speak.

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story

(in 140 characters)

This black mountain

was ferociously loud.
Without food, water
People or love

The fight had left him.
He braced himself for
Its dark embrace.

hosted by: Stony River @www.stoneyriver.ie

Is it terrible?????

Is it terrible to acknowledge when a baby isn't cute??

Do all babies have to be called cute?  Its like an unspoken rule....

I know the old saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."  And I totally believe that. But in reality... there must be some uncute babies out there right?

I See God There: Ode to Kimi C

In your smooth west-coast flair
I see God there.
And as you gently ripple through the thrashing waves
And lead the women through example and grace,
I see God there.
It is your constant support of a man much burdened,
That allows a whole people to become closer to salvation
That much closer to the LORD.
And it is in that love that I see God.
And to me even closer still.
You've blessed and cared
For that most precious to me.
You stepped in, when I was forced to step out,
And I see God there too.