In an hour

In an hour
The world starts over--
Fresh ideals
Fresh resolutions
With the same old resolve.
In an hour
Another tally mark is placed on my life's slate
Another day is taken off the bottom
And I'm an hour closer to another milestone.
In an hour
I'll be just as I am now
But changed
In realizing that time,
Time,
Time is tick tocking relentlessly toward my final melodious note--
The pages turning toward the last word in my final chapter.
And I'm left with the urgent need to make something happen.
In an hour,
I'll embrace my loves
And pray that time stands still.
And in an hour
That prayer will go unanswered.

The Maid Service Double-Standard Reality Check

So for Christmas, my dear husband purchased me a groupon for a one time house cleaning from a local maid service. And before all the ladies start rolling their eyes, you must understand that I am probably the world's worst housekeeper. I'm a stay at home mom who on MOST days lifts not a finger toward cleaning, picking up after herself, or anyone else, to be honest. His gift of this house cleaning was really to "let me off the hook" so to speak. I desperately want a clean house, but rarely have the energy and desire to make that happen. 

But I've been feeling compelled to change this bad and slothful behavior of mine. I want to set an example to my children of cleanliness, responsibility, and order. And I'm committed to allowing this cleaning to jump start me into the New Year--starting off with a clean slate.

The maid service came today to clean my house. She was here for 3 hours and cleaned a ton and still couldn't get every surface. There was just too much dirt. 

Paying someone to clean my home really made me look at the state of my home. I was double checking her work (not in a haughty way, but in a curious as to how it looks-kinda-way), and I even cleaned some surfaces that she wasn't able to get to.

I mean Superman probably wouldn't have been able to clean my whole house in 3 hours, regardless of being faster than a speeding bullet. 

This process of going over her work and noticing the left over surfaces that she couldn't get to made me realize that the standard I used for myself is much lower than the standard I held for her.

And reflecting on that tonight, I'm realizing that I hold almost everyone in my life to higher expectations and standards than I demand of myself. 

I demand so much from those around me, and yet feel less than inclined to reciprocate or set an example through my own behavior. 

This has to change. If I want respect from my children, I need to show respect.

If I want my baseboards cleaned a certain way, I better get to setting the example.

If I want to be paid attention to, I need to start paying attention to others.

This unbalanced way of leading my life needs to be checked. It's an unfair double-standard, and I'm ashamed of it.

Newtown

Is anyone safe?
Anyone?
From the wild machinations of mad men?
The loud banging
Of extinguished souls
Forever seared in the
Tramautized minds
of lucky(?) survivors.
And what of us?
What of us fellow Americans,
Fellow fathers and mothers,
Fellow men and women,
Fellow human beings?
How do we help convince you
That there's life after these deaths?
How do I help you remember that
God is good?
How can I comfort you in
God's justice?
Where would I be?
What would I do,
If I were you?
Could I ever smile again?
Could I ever laugh or hope?
Could I ever worship or praise?
Should I?
An imbittered hardened heart
That should beat only for the Lord
Stops mid-beat.
And only God can make it
Thump
Once more.

My Dying Muse

What happened to the girl filled with rhyming words,

Who saw the world through verse and prose--

That loved the edges where reality blurred

Where in her lines the world she froze. 

She let them slip through her disused fingers

Her writing all but obsolete

And the worlds she built simply linger

In a moribund reality she can barely see.

Where did the words go, she wonders.

Where did my expressive passion hide?

When will I find my elemental lovers

With which I sculpted paradise in my mind?

I Remember You

Strangers lost in far off places

Left behind with nare a thought

Passing quickly with unrecognizable faces

Memories for which no one fought

Science with Lia--Light

We learned about light today.

We learned that ordinary, white light is actually made up of many colors! We made this cool color wheel and spun it on a string to show how all the colors blend together and how your eye can't pick out any one color in particular!

Then we read The Magic School Bus Makes a Rainbow to really drive home the point that white light is made of different colors, and when those colors come together it becomes while light again. Really great story!

But then I confused her royally when we talked about light bending. We used water and oil to show how the light bends and makes the noodle* look broken. As you remember a few days ago we did a density experiment with water and oil. So she got really confused what we were talking about when I introduced water, oil, air, light, noodles, and bending. Just TMI for my baby girl. But it was cool nonetheless. I had her draw observe the glasses from different angles and draw what she saw. 

Left: Noodle in Water. Center: Noodle in Oil. Right: Noodle in Water and Oil. 

*The experiment called for straws, of which I have none! Noodles worked just as well I suppose. Although we did NOT achieve the result instructed in the book for the oil and water combination. Supposedly the "straw" was supposed to look broken in 2 places. As you can see on the right, it only looked broken once.

Salt Dough Ornaments

So I'm still on my mission to be a more "hands-on" mom. Tonight we made ornaments for our tree.

Set oven to 200F
Then we mixed 1c of all-purpose flour
1/2c salt
~3/4c of water

We rolled it out with our rolling pin and used our Christmas cookie cutter shapes.

Here's the aftermath:

Even Maggie wanted to join in on the fun:

W

We baked them for what seemed an eternity (about 3 hours) then I flipped them over for about another hour. Then came the fun part: paint and glitter!

I asked Lee if he were purposefully trying to make the ugliest ornaments ever! 

Lia's Creations!

These were mine- minus the pink tri-heart at the top. That was lee's.