Friendship

There are very few consistent friendships in my life.  People whom I thought were there for the long haul have left me high and dry, and others whom I believed to be just strange specks of conversation dusted on my life have engrained themselves into my heart.  

This weekend was supposed to be a friend weekend.  I went down to New Orleans to connect with one friend and instead I reconnected with another.  

Friendship is a two way street, right? But has there ever been a friend in your life that you wanted to maintain more than he or she was willing to maintain you?  In my life there has always been the friend that I've had to chase around--the friend that I loved more than I was loved. Sometimes it takes me only a short bit to realize this and to drop them, and with others it takes me much longer to realize.  

And once dropped, there was a 0% reconnection history... until now.  I hung out Saturday with an old dear friend of mine that, as of a few months ago, I thought was lost forever.  We were best friends, and when I lost his friendship I felt lost in the world.  A lot was going on and the only steady person I had wouldn't return my phone calls, stopped talking to me, and all together left me. 

But chilling this weekend brought back the same tranquility and comfort that it had 4 and a half years ago.  We will never be what we were, but at least I know he's there.  He's allowed to exist in my world again and I guess I'm there in his too.  

Flip the coin... Another friend(?), who is not at all a friend--not even an associate. Instead this person is an opportunist and all around a selfish person, whom I've resolved to drop. I'm ready now. It was SUCH a long time coming, but I'm ready now to call it quits on trying to pick up pieces. 

Feels peaceful and frustrating at the same time, but it must be done.