Its the summer

and i'm left feeling desperate.  Maybe I'm still so fresh out of  school that I feel the year doesn't start in january and end in December.  Instead MY year begins in August and ends in July.  The final 2 months of my year are the hottest and the ones with the most time to think, reflect, regret, reckon.  

They say the first 3 years of a child's life are the most important. My little one happens to be turning 3 in the fall.  Right in the beginning of my year. And like a person with a New Year's Resolution who finds herself mid october with the same dead-end job and 5 extra pounds on her already rump bodice, I'm kicking it into high gear these last few months.

I'm not as patient as I should be. I'm not as attentive as I need to be. I want to be a great mother. More than I want to be anything other than being myself, I want that.