Little Lia

 Sometimes I get so frustrated with Lia for her just being herself. I wish she were more mature (yikes! she's only 5 years old, what do I expect, right?!) I wish she were a faster learner. More advanced. More patient. I don't know why. I guess it's the danger of comparison. I promised myself when she was a baby that I would never compare her to other children, but somewhere along the way I started breaking that promise. And it wasn't until yesterday evening that I realized how special those little quirks of hers are. How precious her personality is, and how I should NEVER wish she were more conventional. It was only after I told a couple of stories about Lia to a friend that the blinders were lifted off my eyes. (All this may seem common sensical to all of you, but to me it was a real revelation. For some reason, I wanted Lia to read like all her friends read, and play like all her friends play, and learn like all her friends learn, and it really frustrated me that she didn't)

Anyway below are the anecdotes that made my heart melt for my beautiful daughter Lia.

Story #1: The Inchworm

Lia  became infatuated with bugs a couple of months back. She was determined to have a bug as a pet. So when her dad took her to the park for a friend's birthday party, she seized the opportunity to catch an inchworm and bring him home. She set up a little sanctuary for him inside a plastic cup-with branch, leaf, grass and flowers. It was an inchworm paradise.That night when she went to bed I got curious about what that little worm was doing in there, so I took him off the table where he'd been situated and sat the cup on the floor next to me. Well I got sleepy, went to bed, and completely forgot about the little worm until the morning, when I noticed the cup had been tipped over and a cat licking his lips. Oreo, our cat, had eaten Lia's worm, and it was all my fault! First thing she asked when she woke up that morning was about her worm, and I felt terrible when I had to tell her the truth, "mommy put the cup on the floor and oreo ended up eating the worm. I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me." And she did forgive me. She's an angel.

Story # 2: The roly poly

She tried having a bug as a pet again, and another plastic cup came into the house.  Inside was a large, rolled up roly poly. At first I thought it was just too scared to unroll, but as the hours passed I started to suspect that the roly poly was dead.... My daughter brought home a dead roly poly as a pet. I convinced her that he'd be happier outside in the fresh air, and she and her daddy went downstairs and "set him free."


Story #3: The boy and the Girl

This is the preface to story #4. And it starts with a question Lia asked me months ago, "Mommy, how does a boy get a girl?"
Of course I asked her what she meant by that, and she clarified, "You know; how did daddy get you?" So it dawned on me, she wants to know how you get a husband or a wife. Boy = Husband.

Story # 4: In America

In attempt to teach my 5 year old about the meaning of Memorial Day, I do the usual.... make up songs to the melody of famous show tunes! This time I used West Side Story's America. I tried to express to her how lucky she is to be an American. How in other countries girls can't go to school, or marry whom they wish to marry, or wear what they want to wear, or become what they want to become.She had been telling me recently that she wants to be a pilot when she grows up. So naturally I started there... "Lia can be a pilot in America. She can fly planes in America. Watch her fly high in America! Lia's a pilot in America!" Maggie was a Dentist in America... Lia then became a gymnast in America, and I finally ended with "ORRR you can be what mommy is!! 'Lia can be a stay at home mom in America. Take care of her babies in America. Give them hugs and kisses in America. All day long in America!" She sat quiet for only a moment before she asked me...  "Mommy can I be a pilot and my boy stay home with the kids?" I looked at her with both shock and pride...Inside I'm thinking "HELL YEAH! You can be a pilot and let your old man stay home with the kids!! My strong, independent, warrior princess!" But to her I only said, "Of course you can do that! Baby this is AMERICA! You can do anything you want in America!"

That Gummy Grin

Some instinctual, innate happiness,
Which comes only from pure joy.
Truly immaculate.
The type of satisfaction and contentment
Forgotten by adults, echoed by children, but known by infants--
So recently bodiless--wholly spiritual beings
In the presence of the Lord.
Then cocooned in the warm, safe womb of a mother--
Floating, swaying, singing, dancing to the gentle thumping of her heart.
Then the cold comes.
The scratchy linens upon sensitive smooth skin.
The loud noises
The unfamiliar faces and colors--
with only the comforting and familiar embrace of mommy to ease the fear.
In the infantile slumber there are
Visions
Memories
Of Paradise.
Of Glory.
Of God.
Then spread across the chubby cheeked cherub
A wide gummy grin.

delve

When do I reenter the world?

This past weekend marked the first time that I'd ventured out with the baby since she was born.  1 month. I spent a month inside. It felt like I was quarantined, but it is shocking how quickly time flies with a newborn. Perhaps the lack of sleep melts all the days together, and once you've revived enough to be moderately coherent another week has gone by.

Newborn-two weeks down & a lifetime to go

I'm so incredibly happy to have baby Maggie. Thank God that He knows more than I do. Thank God that He is in charge of my life, and I'm not. Thank God that His plans for my life are wiser and better than my plans. In reality, I've yet to plan a child. I don't know the feeling of "trying" to have a kid. Both of my children were wonderful little surprises :D Quite honestly, I'm pretty certain that had I been left to plan that part of my life, I probably would not have any kids!

But one thing I wish I would have planned better was what to do with this angel baby once we come home. I don't remember being this insecure the  first time around. I double-guess every single decision or thought I have as to the proper way to react or proceed in any given situation. What is with this insecurity? I keep trying to go with the flow, but then something inside me screams, "You're messing up. You're not doing this right."

Quotes of Late

Me: Don't let that cat in here. I want him to think a fire-breathing dragon lives in this room.

Lia: Look at her smell holes.
   (Aka: Nostrils)

Lia to her Gma who's come to visit: Wanna see all the ants in my room?!?!?!?!

Lee: Your mom's gonna be here at 1:50 and it's already 1 o'clock!!...(Looks at the clock and its 11:45).

Newborn, Week Two: What did I get myself into?

So Maggie made 1 week on Friday, and week 2 has been filled with worry that I'm not doing this right. I can't sleep at night. I can't nap during the day. I'm consumed with, "Am I letting her nap too much? Is she getting enough milk? Should I have her on some sort of schedule like they do in BabyWise? Am I feeding her too often. Should I change her diaper while she napping or let her sleep? Should I change her diaper before or after I nurse....."

It's endless.

All this led me to start searching the internet for sleep schedules and feeding schedules for newborns, and I've learned 2 things on this search journey.

1. Newborns make their own schedules and God designed it that way. So if that kid wants to eat, feed him. And if that kid wants to sleep, let him.

2. There are too many resources in this world. Too many experts writing too many books about stuff that is instinctual and common sensical, and all its good for is to make us second-guess ourselves as mothers and wives BUT ESPECIALLY as mothers.

From this point forward I'm leaning on God and His holy Spirit to lead me. To give me strength in the endless nights and patience during  the busy and loud days.

Cloth Diapering: my first week

There are so many blogs, websites, youtube videos devoted to cloth diapering and why it's awesome and why it's best for your baby and yadda yadda yadda...

Lemme just tell you from an honest, non-biased perspective what I've learned from my very first week of cloth diapering my newborn.

My daughter Maggie was born last Friday. We were released from the hospital Saturday night, and since Saturday night I've been cloth diapering, with the exception of a few disposables here and there (mostly for the benefit of having my husband change a diaper, since he's uber-uncomfortable with the cloth ones so far....don't get me wrong though, he's pretty bad with the disposables too!)

Mythbuster time:

Myth #1: Cloth diapers take longer to change than disposables---TRUE!
-While I'm not going to exaggerate and say that it takes 10X longer or anything like that, it does indeed take longer to do a diaper change and all around diaper care than disposables. I read a blog somewhere that said "it's as easy as 1,2,3." Okay yeah putting the baby in the diaper takes three steps, and we can ALL master three steps but there are other more time consuming steps too...
Step 1: Theres removing the soiled diaper and  putting it aside for further care. *Notice I said remove and not get rid of or dispose. There's a reason for this, once i get to the later steps*

Step 2: clean baby (normal)

Step 3: put on fitted or pre-fold diaper onto baby. The fitted ones have velcro or snaps. The prefolds require a snappy or pin.

Step 4: Place cover.

Here's the doozy:

Step 5: Clean the poop off the original diaper.
---So I read somewhere---Newborn poop is runny and water soluble, you can just stick in the washer and it comes right out. Well it didn't work like that for me! I had poop all over everything in that washer-- the other diapers, the machine.... It was horrible and had to do another load, and let me just tell you--having to use all that water does not make me happy. Thankfully we purchased a diaper sprayer that attaches to the toilet. (and it leaks! but we're learning to deal with it--that's another story) Anyways back to the poop.

Here's my system:
- take poopy diaper to toilet.
-spray poop into toilet.
-wring out sopping wet diaper into toilet
-spray stains with enzyme spray
-place diaper into diaper pail.

So Yeah putting the diaper on is easy as 1.2.3, but the general process is much longer!

Myth #2: Cloth diapers stink--False
--No they don't. (that one was easy)

Myth #3: Cloth diapers work just as well as disposables
--Yes and no.
The baby is definitely wetter. I find this kind of concerning because I'm worried that the wetness will cause rashes and even though I change her super often, she seems to be in a perpetual state of laying on wet cloths, which I would think is very uncomfortable. I mean when my clothes get wet, and I have to sit in it for a while, I'm uncomfortable.
But this wetness comes with a good reason. I've eliminated all those chemicals and other unnatural substances from her skin by not putting her in a disposable. So while disposables do keep the baby drier (which in the middle of the night when I'm exhausted and really don't feel like getting up to change another diaper, sounds realllllllyyyyyyy tempting!) the cloth diapers keep the baby more natural. (I won't say healthier because I'm not sure if there are any health concerns about diapers. I do know that environmentally all that waste is terrible. There are statistics somewhere on the internet that says a baby goes through a ton of diapers in his lifetime or something outrageous like that.)  But healthier, I'm not sure. Maggie has a little redness on her bottom, and I'm wondering if it isn't from all that wet cloth on her butt.

So these are my discoveries after a week.

I've also done about 5 loads of diapers in the washer so far. (The drier is running right now actually)
Use the hot/cold.

Now that didn't seem like a positive review, but it's only because those were the things that I had optimistically believed when reading about this process that turned out to not be so exact. All in all, Im happy about them. They aren't difficult to use (just more time consuming).  I'm adjusting.

My Induction

No not into the Best Moms on Earth Hall-of-Fame, but the official eviction notice of baby girl #2.
I knew that it was protocol to schedule an induction when you've gone past your due date, so today when the surgery nurse calls at 11:30AM to say that I'm scheduled for Sunday morning, I was nervous but felt relieved that I had a little time for this child to come naturally and spontaneously.  Imagine my surprise when she calls back around 2 to say... Ummmm never mind. We need you to come in tonight. There's a scheduling conflict. Its now or never. She starts talking about me being in risk for a c-section. And how, after I practically wigged out on the phone about why on God's green Earth would I be at risk for cesarian?!?!?!, this is the first time that she's ever had a woman not want to be induced and how everyone else was usually like "okay let's do it."

So I literally spent 2+hours crying, wigging out, and talking to the surgery nurse, until FINALLY and ingeniously, my sister-in-law advised me to tell the nurse that I no longer wanted to communicate with her, but instead to have the doctor call  and advise me, which he did!

And he calmed my nerves. He said that if I were his wife, he would have me come in tonight. That it was in the best interest of the baby. And in a metaphor that I found more endearing than offensive, he compared my pregnancy to baking cookies, saying that he prefers his cookies chewier rather than crispy, and right now this baby's getting crispy. He let me know that I'm at lowest risk NOW and that the risk only increases as time passes.

So all this to say that I'm heading to the hospital tonight by 8:30 and that I'll have a baby by tomorrow. While it's not the way I wanted for all this to happen, I am confident that God is with me and will watch over my family. Thanks to all of you for your prayers.

And as a side note. Just minutes ago, my husband came up to me with this to say:

Lee: Can we just take a moment to massage each other, I have so much stress and pains....?

[What does he know about stress and pains! hahahah]

Waiting

Sitting alone

Speaking to no one

Listening to the hum of my ceiling fan set to high,

I'm on edge.

Every crack and pop of settling furniture and walls

Causes my head to turn.

Every second that has passed

Since their departure,

Has been spent in this fashion--

Anxiously awaiting their return.

I've settled into a state of constant anticipation.

My mother in Law

Has come to visit and stay during my "critical period." My due date is the 31st, and she'll be here until the 4th to help us with my eldest, if we have to rush to the hospital in the middle of the night or stay extendedly.  I don't know about you, but it's always been difficult for me to have a guest stay over because I feel like I need to keep up appearances, keep a cleaner house, maintain a stocked fridge and pantry, etc....
And it is on this last point that I wish to settle.

don't judge the obvious
 disorganization and overall
lack of cleanliness of my
pantry, s'il vous plait.

She has gone shopping. Grocery shopping. And purchased almost every single item that never fits into our budget. She literally shopped right off of our grocery wish list. Things like cream cheese, crackers, salsa con queso, frozen chicken nuggets, and much much more.

My friends all made fun of me a few months back because I was explaining how my husband wanted a box of crackers, which I did not buy because it wasn't in my budget. (almost all snack food, fruit juices, ready made breakfast items are out of the budget really) Then they all started trying to guess what kind of crackers it was.... Cheezit (sp?), ritz, pita, all these other fancy crackers, and I'm like, "No, saltines."

They thought I was ridiculous!! Surely I could squeeze in a box of saltine crackers!?! Wellllll I ended up feeling bad and going out to get my husband a box of saltines, and he was eternally grateful. It actually felt so good to have gotten him the saltines that I've become a little more lax with my shopping list and have allowed some goodies in there too (but definitely not at the expense of the toothpaste or something more important.)


But now I need not worry because my mother-in-law has purchased the coveted saltines, along with so many other things that I can't even express how grateful I am for her generosity. I'm sure to others a tub of store-brand strawberry cream cheese is no big deal, but to us it's like ambrosia because of how rare it is to find in our home.

Her visit has proven to be long overdue. Lia is overjoyed! She is quite honestly bouncing off the walls. My husband is thrilled to be with his mother, and I'm grateful and appreciative of her presence and the joy she is bringing to my family.

I was there too

Child,
I was there,
Behind the lens.
Although you can't see me,
I saw all there was to see,
Capturing all I could,
From behind the lens.
And now that you're grown
And memories are fading
And time is flying
And life is waiting--for no one,
I remember it all, my child.
I snapped it into eternity
Using that lens.
So in the years to come
When you're trying to relive
Some precious memories
By looking at these
Remember I was there too.

Delve

If I hear someone tell me I'm nesting, one more time....

I'm gunna go off (inside my head), but on the outside I'll just chuckle and say, "Yeah I suppose."

But lemme just tell you that it ticks me off.

If you were having a guest over to your home, would you not clean? If you were having someone move in, would you not have to move things around to make room? Why when I've got another human moving in with me for at least 18 years by means of birthing her are my cleaning and rearranging attributed to this irrational, hormone-induced hysteria known as "nesting?"

Any other time I single-mindedly clean and organize, others attribute it to a  normal "spring cleaning" mentality. Have a baby in your belly and people tilt their heads to the side, give you this all-knowing smile, and smartly comment on your nesting...

**Now after rereading this rant, I suppose I am a little hormonal and hysterical...Time for this baby to come! Then maybe I'll go  back to normal.***

Quotes of Late

Lee: There was definitely something wrong with that meat! You should have brought it back. It was probably some sort of hormone-injected, chemical cow!

Lia [after a play date at her friend's house]: That's why I didn't do it, when she said  let's put the chairs in the bathtub...
--I had to start paying closer attention to watch she was talking about, after I heard that!

OBGYN: "Your mom's got some skinny ankles."

My kid watches too much TV

When Lia was born, every second was its own precious moment. Each tick of the clock memorable and priceless. The time FLEW, and the weeks and months would pass in a flash, leaving me grasping at the fleeing coattails of time.

Five and a half years later, I all too often allow my kid to watch hours of television, while I clean and sit and check facebook and whatever other unproductive, un-impactful activity I can find to occupy my time other than staring at her beautiful face trying to remember every single line and freckle. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if I'll remember this moment. Will I remember this little song she made up? Will I remember this funny little dance she's doing, and I try desperately to imprint it on my soul so that it becomes a part of who I am. So the next time I laugh or sing or dance, somewhere deep inside is the spirit of a little girl forever preserved in my eternal soul.

I honestly believe that my purpose for living is to be Lia's mother, and surely once we have our newest baby girl, my purpose will include her as well.

So I've spent these last 3 months dedicated to becoming a better mother. And being present in Lia's life in a way that I hadn't been the last year and a half of working outside the home. And trying to make memories. And attempt to become a better version of myself.  I can't say if it worked, but I can say I tried....

Today is the day!

I get to go grocery shopping today, and let me tell you-- the grocery situation in this house has become desperate!

We have barely anything and have been reduced to eating black beans for 2 days. But it was totally worth it because it means that I've succeeded.

Let me explain.
So given the new financial situation of our family, I've reevaluated my spending habits. Many things that were once STAPLES for our family; things that never even crossed my mind that they were wants and not needs--have been extricated from my home and no longer purchased by me. For example: Paper towels. I don't think I've bought a single package of paper towels for 5 months or so now! And have I missed them?!? No way, Jose! I purchased some cloths in a big package from Walmart and have never looked back. I don't wash any extra either. They don't take up a lot of space, and so I just throw them in the washing machine with whatever else needs washing, and it's done!

Every time I pick up a major spill with ONE cloth and then throw in the washer instead of the trashcan, it's like I've just passed some sort of cosmic test, and I totally whooped its butt!

But that's the not only thing. Especially when it comes to groceries. I buy No snack foods. No juices. No frozen meals. And all of those changes save up my cash to purchase food that will actually LAST me 2 weeks (or close to it, judging from my empty refrigerator). If I purchased a box of poptarts, my family would inhale it in 3 days max! and there goes a $3 /3 day investment. But a bag of flour makes pancakes and waffles for months!

Don't get me wrong there are things that we consume, almost gluttonously, like CEREAL! It's a definite need for my family. I bet they would rather go vegetarian and me never buy meat again, if it interfered with my buying of cereal.  It's serious business.

So I guess, my advice to anyone who is in need of curbing his or her spending is to first mentally prepare yourself to be uncomfortable AT FIRST. Because we are spoiled as a society. So any type of sacrifice or curbing of habits can be almost painful, but I need to assure you that you will persevere! Once you get into the hang of things, you will be just as comfortable or even more comfortable than before because you know in the back of your head how smart you're being.  Secondly, see how bare-bones you can go. What do I mean by that? Well start eliminating things from your shopping list that used to be an automatic addition.  For me, the first step was paper towels. (Usually when I tell people that I don't buy paper towels, they almost automatically go to "Are you gunna stop buying toilet paper too?!" The answer is NO by the way. Get serious!) Next came certain household cleaners that I found I could replace with just a gallon of bleach and vinegar and water in a spray bottle. Super saving lemme tell you. And my home is just as clean!

Next--commit! I read in this book, that the more you go to the store the more you spend--something like 40% more ( i don't know the exact #'s. I suppose I could get off my butt, walk over to the book shelf 3 feet away and look it up, but I ain't gunna) Anyway the point of it was this. Every time you go to the store just to pick up "a few things" you end up with more things than you ever intended to buy. And for someone on a tight budget, going to the store 3 times a week to pick up a few little things can really add up and jeopardize the financial stability of his household. So how do you fix this? Easy (kind of). Just stop going to the store. I've committed to only going to the store on payday, which for our family is every other Thursday.  That means I go 2 weeks without stepping into a grocery store, and therefore am not tempted to purchase even the smallest of items! It also means that if on day 10 I'm out of eggs, then I've committed myself and my family to go without until I am able to go back to the store in just a few more painful days!

This is my system, and this has worked for me. You may not be in a place where you need to limit your spending, but statistically that's not norm. There are staggering statistics about the average American household having up to $16,000 in credit card debt...I don't care if you make 200k a year! to have that much debt signifies needing some better spending habits, and it all starts with recognizing that there are things you are spending your money on that are unnecessary.

Good luck!

Tick Tock

Time is flying, and this new addition to our family will be here soon.

One of the most common questions that I'm being asked is, "Are you ready?" And my honest response is, "no."

And I don't mean in that flighty, hormonal sort-a-way, when I just can't get the house clean enough... I'm talking about not even knowing where the hospital is! No changing table. No bottles. No milk storage. No  labor plan. No experience with these crazy cloth diapers that I've decided to invest in because I NEED to save money-- because along with having no real plan, we also have no extra money.

Now that I'm not earning a salary, we have turned into a paycheck to paycheck family. If it weren't for the Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover approach to saving, this time would be really scary. But because I spent the year and a half of working to save every spare penny I could, we are confident that God will bless us one day with more income, and until then we have enough saved to get us through--hopefully. We just remember to keep giving, and the Lord will make sure to keep providing.

If I had to be honest with myself, I'd have to admit that I've been winging it, and as in most situations when one "wings-it," this has the potential of blowing up in my face.

I have a lot of fears, most of which center around the delivery. I'm worried because I'm not familiar with this practice and their methods that my delivery won't go the way I want. I'm scared the epidural won't go the way my first did, and that I'll be completely crippled and the delivery will take so much longer than necessary because of my inability to move. I'm scared that at the first sign of difficulty that they'll rush me over to c-section. I'm scared that they'll be impatient with me--especially after having been told at my last appointment that they will induce me if the baby doesn't come after 41 weeks.... WELL I had my first daughter at 42 weeks... Can I say no? If they schedule to induce me, do I just not show up at my "appointment?"

There are so many other fears and anxieties! Too many to list. Too many to describe. Too many to explain or justify!

I have to TRY to surrender this to the Lord and allow him to take the reins. Let Him take care of this situation and all others that may come up. I have to try to remember that I have no control over each and every detail, but I do have control over my faith. I need peace. I need surrender. But knowing what's right and actually doing it are different things. So I'm going to just have to keep trying.

Do I miss the beat?

The tap, tap, tap
Rappity tap
Clickety clap
Of home...
The beat of the city,
Moving the air,
Sends gusts of jazz through the atmosphere.
The flowers below
The branches above
Tremble.
They know the day is near.
The day when home loses its perimeter.
No longer is it just a city
With man made boundaries on the east
And a river to the west.
The day when home has no natives--
When the city itself swallows everything and anything
That steps within its shaking grasp.
When clothes are optional,
Vices are encouraged,
Sins soon committed, and
Regrets left to be cleansed.
When I close my eyes,
I can see my city
Through the vibrant haze of
Debauchery.
Do I miss the beat?
I am the beat.
Twas forged into me
By the skilled hands of an ancient city.
With every breath I breathe
In this strange northern land,
I shake it up--
Leave it altered and skewed.
An infinitesimal variation
Connecting me to home.

Delve

How to fit a 5 year old, a newborn, and 2 old farts into a 2 bedroom apartment w/ no money!

Step One: try not to lose your mind!!!!

Step Two: Pray to God

Step Three: Look on craigslist.org for everything you need and trust that God will keep you safe from the crazies

--I have been almost obsessive with getting my apartment ready for a newborn. We were (this) close to buying a house, when we pulled out of the deal at the last minute. So we had to have a paradigm shift almost immediately. No more 2600+ sqft home to "grow into." No ma'am. It went straight to "we need to make more space. We need to fit in here. We can do it. It can be done."

Lia's always had the master bedroom of our apartment. And now she and her new sister will share it. I've been looking around in every room to see what is superfluous. What is a want and not a need. Let me just tell you that I found the MOST in the kitchen. The darn panini machine was taking up space where a baby bullet needs to go. The quesadilla maker needs to move over for the bottles. Wine glasses--see ya later! Grill cheese maker--adios!

I encourage everyone to periodically go through his or her house and think to himself, "If I had to fit another person in here, what needs to go to make way for the new?"

It's incredibly overwhelming, but I'm sure that it is not an impossible task. Although my house is a disaster, I'm convinced it is only because it needs to get worse before it gets better.

By the time we say hello to girl # 2, I'm hoping that the home will be organized and clean and livable and spacious.

A Reevaluation

So there have been a lot of changes in my life recently, and it's been so long since I've blogged that I can't even remember what I've written about--nor do I have time to go back and read! Pathetic! My plan is to just type from the top of my head, and if I've repeated anything, my sincere apologies.

So starting January 1st, I'm back as a Stay at home mom! wowzers. It was actually a huge move considering that the whole reason I started working was because my husband's income couldn't sustain us completely here in NC. He hasn't gotten a raise and yet I'm back at home AND expecting another baby, which inevitably means MORE EXPENSES with no MORE money.

I've debated how good of a move it was to stop working so early--I mean the baby doesn't come until the end of March, for goodness sakes, couldn't I have just held out for a few more months and saved some much needed money?

But after thinking about my family and my daughter, it felt like it was time to stop. It was time to stop concentrating on how much commission I've earned, how much production I have for the month, how far behind we are on the newest promotion, how many Saturdays I'd have to come in to try to catch up, and then the guilt. The terrible guilt I would feel after spending more time with my co-workers than I do my family, and then on the weekends when I'm finally with my family, not wanting to be around them just because I want alone time.

I'm mid-way through week 2 of being back home and so far so good. I've implemented new financial and spending limits on the family to keep us living within our means.  (I'll be writing about this in the near future)

This past year and a half, we've been able to pay off all of our debts and have a fully funded emergency fund that could keep us going for 6 months if need be. With the help of God, we've started moving toward the type of financial situation that we dreamed of, but trust me when I say that we are far behind our ultimate goal.

We're looking to buy a house, yet we have no $money$ for a downpayment without spending the money in our emergency fund. BUT keep in mind that I live on the 3rd story of an apartment complex, and I don't know if not taking advantage of this market, is a good idea.

so topics on which i will soon be blogging:

1) Lee's job switch-a-roonie!
2) My budget and new spending endeavors
3) Trying to find a home that fits our budget (which is super small)

Thanks for reading, and keep coming back for some new stuff!

Quotes of Late

Lia: It's glittering.... (she meant drizzling)

Lia and Lee are playing with the marble run. Lee keeps stealing lia's marbles, and she keeps laughing and saying stop, when Lia lets a fart rip in Lee's face...
Lee: Pedito en la carita. (Fart in the face) That's a good way to stop me, baby.