I'm So Ronery

I am a person with very few friends. a lot of acquaintances but There aren’t many people who know me. I’m not the first person to kiss your ass so that you will like me or accept me into your group. I couldn’t care less if I were in ANY group. And if I begin to feel like I’m getting tested to be accepted; the least likely I am to want to participate. Dont get me wrong, I'm extremely friendly and usually people take well to me. but at the same time I don’t make a great effort to call you or to go out and see you.

the horrible fact about it is that I am that way towards my friends as well. I’m the hardest person to stay in touch with.

It’s crazy because I was always just an involved person. I went out like 4 to 5 times a weeks and before I had a moment to think I had a thousand people blowing up my cell phone. I went from being the center of the party to hearing what everyone else did this weekend. I feel so incredibly out the loop. And I really think that the main reason for that has been my relationship with Lee. But please don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t give up a second that I spend with lee to go out with my friends. I do choose him first, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my friends, that I don’t want to see my friends.

I think that in almost every relationship, one person gives up more than the other. Either he is always hanging out with her friends or she is always with his friends. AND IF YOU ARE SUPER LUCKY. Ya’ll have the same group of friends to begin with and nothing changes. Well good for you, your fortunate few. But I think that in my relationship with Lee, I have been with his friends. And they are wonderful and funny and accepting, but they are Lee’s friends not MY friends. And at times that makes me feel lonely.

even better news

the guy that owns the h ouse called me today and said he changed his mind and he no longer wants to sell the house. so we completely lost the buy. I'm really upset you guys

My high expectations

ok so i thought i found the PERFECT home. Its a condo in Baton rouge, and i fell in love. I set up an appointment to see the house, and when i got home i checked the webpage of the house again, just to get a look, and THEY RAISED THE PRICE! How can they do that? They had it advertized for a certain price when i made the appt. and then all of a sudden its thousands more!!!!

i'm so upset, and disappointed, and confused on what to do now.

*it really is just my luck*

Hilarious

"And when you enter the workforce, you will find competition from those crossing our all-too-poorest borders. Now I know you’re all going to say, “Stephen, Stephen, immigrants built America.” Yes, but here’s the thing—it’s built now. I think it was finished in the mid-70s sometime. At this point it’s a touch-up and repair job. But thankfully Congress is acting and soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem to Spansih, the next thing you know, they’ll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools.

So we must build walls. A wall obviously across the entire southern border. That’s the answer. That may not be enough—maybe a moat in front of it, or a fire-pit. Maybe a flaming moat, filled with fire-proof crocodiles. And we should probably wall off the northern border as well. Keep those Canadians with their socialized medicine and their skunky beer out. And because immigrants can swim, we’ll probably want to wall off the coasts as well. And while we’re at it, we need to put up a dome, in case they have catapults. And we’ll punch some holes in it so we can breathe. Breathe free. It’s time for illegal immigrants to go—right after they finish building those walls. Yes, yes, I agree with me."

--Stephen Colbert--

Its funny but in a way it reminds me of Swift's "A Modest Proposal" where he tries to solve the problem of poverty and an influx of starving children by coming up with the most outragous solutions [like feeding all of the unwanted children to wealthy land owners] as a way of showing us how ridiculous we are. To show us how far we take everything. That sometimes man kind doesn't think everything through. Now i'm not going to say that Stephen Colbert was thinking this intellectually when he wrote this speech, but it still conveys the same type of message.


*quote from another blogger; http://jimparsons.blogspot.com/*

Slightly over stressed

oh man everything is happening this week. its remarkable!

i had a test today, a reading + assignment due tomorrow, a grammar test due wednesday morning, a british lit paper due thursday, a potential house on thursday night in BR, and in between i have to go to work.

I'm a little over assigned, but i'm too lazy to get anything done. i just want to sit and eat.

so i'm a married woman

i got married last night, quickly. to the best man that God has ever created; next to my daddy.

Ever feel like life is moving so fast that theres nothing to remember it by? The days and events just come and go and before long you're lying in bed, looking around and thinking how did this happen? When did i get here?

I'm happy but i'm scared that my life is just passing me by without me doing anything about it.

What is so memorable?

I have beautiful people in my life that adore me and support me, and i'm blessed. I'm thankful and I'm proud to have that type of support team. But at the same time; i always felt that i was meant to do something that i could remember, that someone would remember. And now it just seems like i'm turning into a statistic.

Housing search

trying to find and buy a house is like trying to kiss a racoon. You know its going to be a little hard but not incredibly impossible, but it turns out to be a living hell and you ended up with stiches on your lips. and i'm goin to have stiches in my butt when they stick it to me with the mortgage and the realtor.

Every aspect of it sucks. You're constantly double guessing yourself and you always wait out to see if anything better comes but it only gets worse and you feel you missed out.

At this point i feel like i've been searching FOREVER and i'm never going to find anything, and if i do find something its going to be a 150,000 dollar 2 story dorito bag under the expressway!

I'm getting desperate.

late night tv = crack: Questions of Life

What is it about late night television that makes your eyes battle your sleepy mind? why are late night infomercials about tiny blenders soooo alluring that one cannot keep his/her eyes off the screen? QVC always has the ugliest clothes ever so why must i watch till 4 in the morning? Is cheaters really that awesome of a show that I risk getting purple bags under my eyes to watch every last moment...

Elimidate
cheesy bad sitcoms that dont ever show during the day

Its like the temptation of evil: The devil calls to us through late night tv. or maybe not;
One of these days i'm going to do a study and discover that late night tv leads to damnation or cancer... we'll see.

Ready for the big Surprise?!

So i havent spoken to anyone in a long time. I havent gone out in a really long time. I feel totally out of the social loop, and so i'm pretty sure that anything i say will be a huge surprise to everyone. Well DUM DUM DUM!

I'm getting married on Friday. Can you believe it? I' m going to be someone's wife. Its really scary. I mean think about it. How do you do it? I'm about to find out. so ask me in a year or two; if you ever want to know.

I mean marriage is FOREVER and ever and ever. It seems so unnatural because human nature is sooo temporary. Life, sleep, hunger, cold, hot, temptations, urges, cravings, etc. Nothing in human nature is FOREVER, but i have a feeling that my love and my marriage will be forever. because i am a strong person. and i'm in it for the long haul. I'm a fighter, and personally feel that i work hard to try to keep relationships together [from past experience] so anyways. wish me luck, and love me, and think about me. Its gunna be hard.

Tito moment

Remember you can always see pics of me and my peeps on the INFAMOUS PIC PAGE just click here

Skip to my lou

What if i had become a famous rapper guys? Yes, me, the whitest latin girl this side of the mississippi...

would you buy my album? would you dress like me if i were famous?> i mean think about it, all those people that are famous now were once just nobodies with some friends and a lot more critics.

I'm going to be famous one day, you wait and see. Either you see me on E! promoting my newest musical OR you'll see me on A&E my mug shots and my ridiculous story of sex drugs and a freak banana hamock accident.... i dunno:

too tired, must stop typing

heavy lids

I'm sooo sleepy and tired and yet i'm trying to keep myself awake... why? because i'm a toddler.

Life on the fast track

This friday is a big day... when this friday comes i'll let you know what happened, BUT its a big ole day.

You know sometimes theres just no turning back. There's no sucking the words back in your throat, or erasing that ugly look, or pulling back the punch. Once it happens its done, no making it the way it was before. Theres only tweeking it.

I sit and think sometimes if there were anything i would do differently. If i would take anything back, and there are a couple of things but its terrifying to think about because what if taking back those events causes the present to change dramatically. [i know theres a movie about this concept but i never saw it; so at this moment this is all me ] Anyways.

Ok so what's new?

I'm sitting in my living room trying to think of something worth reading, and i glance over and Tito [my kitten] is sitting looking outside at the window sill. He keeps crying because he's dying to go outside, but i'm about to leave to go to school and i dont have time to wait for hours for him to come back. [and yes i have to wait. we have a lot of tom cats around here and they arent very friendly. PLUS tito is slightly spoiled, and i like to make sure that he is safe and has food and water at all times] ANYWAYS.

The point is that my life is like this most of the time. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for class to start. I'm waiting for the cafeteria at school to open. I'm waiting all the time for something to happen. Is that normal? I never wanted to be normal. I've actually always had a problem with the concept of 'normal'. so maybe i should change the word and say is that common? is everyone waiting? I mean i'm sure there are those that wake up and make stuff happen every second of every day. I want to be one of those people, i guess. [now i'm starting to sound like the little mermaid] but its true.

You know what?! i should probably not jinx myself. Soon i'm going to have toooo much on my hands, and not even have a moment to think about how one day a while back i wanted to be uncommon. I wanted to be a somebody. I'll just be an anybody, and not have any time or energy to change that.

"Theres nothing i can do to keep

from crying when he calls your name... Jolene. "

You know one of those songs that you just genuinely like. Its not famous, its very unique and simple. well Jolene by mindy smith [originally by dolly parton] is the greatest to me.

i think its such an honest song. I mean all of the songs out there now are about how i am so much better than you, and not that true raw feeling of looking at someone else and thinking 'wow you are so much better than me'



Jolene [lyrics by dolly parton]

[refrain]Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him just because you can

Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, jolene

He talks about you in his sleep
Theres nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, jolene

And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you dont know what he means to me,
[refrain]

you could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
Hes the only one for me, jolene
I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do,

joleneJolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him even though you can

Ok so lets refer back to...

the post from yesterday called In Class:

Well remember how i told yall that on that 'quiz' we took only 1 person got an A 2 people got B's and everyone else failed,

Shockingly i got the A. And all of those females that i'm in class with were horribly ugly to me, and catty and i cant even explain what else. I wish the teacher would have never told the whole class. I mean if she would not have done that then no one would have ever found out. except for all of you reading of course.

We seem to have a lot of moments like these...

So Lee and I are in CVS trying to find a moisturizer to go with a facial cleanser... i show him one and he says: "No, this is for people with severly dry skin, like you baby"

LoL thanks babe :) He's too honest hehe

lazy lazy lazy

this semester i'm really trying to apply myself. I'm reading more than i ever have for my classes, and i'm highlighting and writing notes, and i really want to do well.

i think a lot of people are doubting how well i can do right now, and i'm one of those people. But i've really only had one goal in my college life and that is to graduate Summa cum laude. thats it. and if i've messed up my chances to do so even when i'm trying with all my might. i think it will be my greatest disappointment to date. This is all i want. i hope and pray that i can. and if not, i just dont know.

In class

so i'm in my advanced grammar class and its moments before our first "quiz" [MORE LIKE AN EXIT EXAM it was 5 pages long!] anyways not the point. The teacher gives us an opportunity to ask any questions we want AND to review any exercises in the book.

keep in mind: I'm an english major. Everyone else in the class is an education major. and they are ALL friends with each other because they have so many classes together. I know no one in the class SOOOOO....

the teacher is letting us go over exercises in the book and i say we go over this kind of tricky exercise towards the beginning, AND EVERYONE IN THE CLASS is like "No..." "thats so easy" "we already went over that!" and so forth. so i say "Ok nevermind! lets not go over it"

Well sweet irony: Everyone failed the quiz most especially the last two pages that had a lot to do with the exercise that i wanted to review. Now we have to take 2 more quizzes to try to bring up our grades. hmm interesting

All those retarded education majors.

The first day of class this middle aged white woman that sounded like she was born and raised and never left the westbank was trying to communicate a story in ADVANCED GRAMMAR class, and she was all like .."They was trying to fix the schedule, blah blah blah" They was? what is that? thats horrible? Now dont get me wrong. I'm probably one of those people that failed the quiz too. i dont know i havent received my grade, but come on now.