Retreat

I've never been this overwhelmed with desire to be alone in a very long time. And not an hour upstairs where I still hear the chaos of family life echoing through the halls. Not alone but with constant interruption. Not alone but with the ever present sentiment that soon I'll have to reemerge and be mommy and wife and whatever the hell else I can be assigned.

I mean detached, private, personal, no-rush kind of alone. I-want-to-be-only-Jillien kind of alone.

It is the only thing I miss from my former life as a single, non-mother---my ability to escape and isolate myself. I need that kind of time. It is imperative to my nature.

Why right now? I have no clue. maybe because my daughter has been on vacation all week and my days and nights have been spent in her company and in my husband's company. Tomorrow she returns to school-even if it is only 3 hours. Perhaps I'll be over it after I've receive that break, but man I'm in dire need of it right now.