Thursday, January 21, 2010

Have you ever been.....

Alone?

I can't say that I have.  Up to just a handful of months ago, I've shared my life with a huge, tight-knit family. I've never been without a best friend... or at least not for very long.  I've always had a boyfriend, and I've been married since I was 20.  I grew up and lived in the same house until I graduated from college--surrounded my by mom, dad, grandmother, and childhood friends that still lived in the neighborhood... I've lived a fully supported life. Always someone there to turn to.

Now my husband's company is relocating our family to North Carolina, and for the first time in my life, I'm faced with unfamiliarity. At first hearing the news, I cried--hard. But since then, I've become numb.  The move exists in a surreal little pocket in my mind. It is not yet real. So I feel nothing. Even though I know I should.

Its strange. Every time I mention the move to a friend they ask, "How do you feel?"  and I have to make up some feelings.... Normal feelings that normal people would have because I'm scared that if I were to tell them the truth, "I can't feel anything"  they would be hurt or think I were heartless or crazy.

So that's where I am today. Where are you?

5 comments:

  1. We almost got re-located to Washington State and I felt EXACTLY like you are feeling. Luckily we were able to stay "home" and I didn't have to leave my family. I would be freaking out--totally.

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  2. That would be a big shock. it takes time to adjust to such a big change.

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  3. I would probably feel numb too. I have had to be in that situation yet.

    Right now I'm feeling kind of blah. Time for some music :)

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  4. I'm really sorry that you will have to move. It's hard, but you are an amazing woman and you would have an easy time making new friends. They won't be the same, but it can make your relationships at home even stronger when they're not always around. I will be praying for your family. *hugs*

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  5. Although,I've never been faced with that situationI'm envious of the fact that you are so BRAVE to do this for your family!! It's an ultimate sacrifice to leave what's familiar and that should be admired and yall will be just fine. You'll make new friends...you are a likable person and with the way technology is you will be able to keep up with everyone just the same! Let the full range of your emotions take it's course and then "full steam ahead." Love you!!!

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