Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Is it just me or....

Are infomercials getting out of control ridiculous.  I mean its actually kind of funny. 

Here's one: They are advertising a paper-cutter, and they split the screen to a black and white ominous video of a woman trying to cut some pictures with a regular, mundane, and inefficient pair of scissors, when all of a sudden her hand starts running amuck!  It literally begins lashing out and slicing the picture all over the place! Frightening, if you ask me?!

Or its for a toothpaste dispenser, and again the terrifyingly insane black and white video pops up on the screen. There are children practically beating the tube with their fists.  Incompetent human adults squeezing the toothpaste tube with such ferocity that the paste squirts out all over the sink!  This must be rectified, and the only solution is their handy toothpaste dispenser.  

I mean if these black-and-white videos are a testament to the state of American mental competence, then no amount of government funding or 3rd party charity would ever cure us of our idiocy.  

I'm thinking about inventing some crazy product, just so that I can come up with my own infomercial.  It would be some gadget that ties your shoelaces for you.... Cut to the black and white video:  Some little old lady is trying to tie her laces when all of a sudden the laces start going berserk! And her little old wrinkled fingers get all tied up and tangled in the laces... just a mess!   OR a middle-aged man is getting out of a business meeting when he looks down and notices that his laces are untied.  He bends over to tie them when out of nowhere a large gorilla comes up and starts beating him up!!!  This definitely needs to be remedied... Buy Jillien's Tie-a-Lace!

Post Script: Please don't get me wrong.... if I had the money i would purchase all of those items shown on infomercials! They're delicious. Its the advertisement itself that offends me. (this post was inspired by a conversation I had recently with Bueno... she seems to inspire magnificence.)

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