Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I turn 21 TOMORROW

and i still dont know how to feel. It just wasn't supposed to be this way. I'm supposed to be in cancun drinking and dancing. Instead i have a doctor's appointment at 9 am to test me for pregnancy diabetes.

When am i going to get happy? I don't even feel excitement on my 21st birthday. Before all this i had so many friends and acquaintances and enough people in my lfe to make this great. Now, i've lost touch with EVERYONE and i feel like i'm alone.

Its funny bc i wanted to go on a trip with Lee to the beach for my birthday, I had 1000 dollars to spend. And we felt like it would be best to save the money instead.

So next weekend Lee is going on a trip to Florida with his friends for a bachelor party, and I'm going to be alone with no memories to hold on to.

Things just feel so messed up. I'm waiting for a glimmer of happiness and hope. I'm ready to feel happy.

I know the baby will make me happy. One day soon, I'll be happy.

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