Monday, July 24, 2006

My worries are consuming me

What am i going to do?
someone please answer me.

Lee and i are STILL looking for a house. STILL have not found a place to live. STILL trying to figure out how much we are willing and able to pay and afford.

I'm STILL in school. STILL behind in my reading. STILL behind on my assignments. why?

Lee and I are STILL struggling with Lola. Lola is STILL sick. She is costing us SOOO much money that we don't have, but we don't have the heart to to leave her or give her away. we just can't. But i have this horrible feeling that it isnt the smartest decision i've ever made to care for a sick stray kitten. Am i being a horrible mother? Could this have negative consequences on the baby? I'm STILL freaking out. I can't leave Lola and yet I live in constant worry that i'm endangering the baby. When should i make the executive decision and choose?

What am I to do? Did God send me Lola to care for her bc he knows that i will always love her unconditionally? Did God keep Lee and I looking for a home so that we can live in our perfect dream home yet to be found? Or am i being cursed or punished or something??? Will Lola bring illness to the baby? I pray that she doesn't. Will Lola die? Is she that sick? [i will be devastated] Will Lee and I struggle to make payments or struggle in a flood zone or in a bad area that we didnt know about?

When would God step in? Will he just let things be? and let me keep suffering?

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