Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story (in 140 characters)

Faces! She saw them everywhere.

Her earliest memory was as a lil girl facing the window

& a sinking feeling that someone was looking at her.

Hosted by: stoney river

Give me that milk gallon...Back up off me.

At HPC Women last night, our lead pastor Dino spoke because his wife (our regular women's pastor) is on vocal rest for 3 WEEKS! ouch!

Anyway... he came in to learn us something about the differences between men and women.

He preached on how God made us in His image. He made us different. And He blessed those differences. He taught how important it is for our men to feel respected. He spoke how you should only come to your man with a problem if you're expecting him to fix it. This is how their minds work.

Then he went on to speak to the single women in the room. Here's the jist of that sermon:

If you are confident in Christ. If you allow the Holy Spirit to change your man, instead of trying to do it yourself.  If you try to be the best version of Jesus you can be, you won't spend the rest of your life living on "BAYOU SELF!"

School Pictures

My daughter is taking her Pre-K3 school pictures today. And it had me thinking back to grade school and taking my own school pictures.

My missing teeth and big glasses... Thick straight-cut bangs... uniform always too small on me.

Needless to say, I was an awkward-looking kid. But I was always an extrovert and loud and obnoxious (all  of these not in a good way)

(yep you guessed it! thats me on the far right)

Everyone looked back at the turn of the decade and asked.... where was I 10 years ago? Well, I was 14 and a freshman in high school! A FRESHMAN! The epitome of awkward years.

It really was not until I was a sophomore that I became un-ugly. You know what I mean. That ugly duckling you've been since you were 10 or so....Well that went away at 15 for me. And I got slimmer glasses and my braces were off and my flat chest finally started to show signs of life and growth!

At 17 I finally chilled out and lost a bit of my obnoxiousness. I started to mature. I was really a late maturer. But once I got the hang of it.... I took off flying into mature land. Thinking I was much more grown than I really was.

(Bottom Left)

And now I'm 24 and life is so grown up now. It is a very real world for me--at times a very surreal world! But I've come a long way, and I've not forgotten a single step in the journey. 

--I remember the painful rejections, The break-ups, The plays I performed in, The songs I blasted on the radio, The kisses, The F's, The awards, The classes, The stresses, The laughs, The love... and it all got me here:

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story (in 140 characters)

When her agent said she'd been cast opposite a handsome up-&-comer, he never mentioned it was for an unsightly underarm hair commercial!

Hosted by: StonyRiver

Into the Valley of the Shadow of Death

I've had this theme in my mind this Monday morning and thought I would share it with you in the 3 different aspects it has popped into my head.

The valley of the Shadow of Death came to me while surfing through one of my favorite websites www.Biblegateway.com  with Psalm 23:

Psalm 23 (King James Version)

 ¹The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

 ²He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
 ³He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
 ⁴Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
 ⁵Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
 ⁶Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.


Then as I previously posted with Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade, the literary value of this theme and finally with its connection to LSU and Tiger stadium. Why is this on my mind? No clue, but for some reason the Spirit has been guiding me here, and I will keep reflecting. I hope that any one of these references to Death Valley has interested you.  

Death Valley

Charge of the Light Brigade

Half a league, half a league,

Half a league onward,

All in the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!

Charge for the guns' he said:

Into the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'

Was there a man dismay'd?

Not tho' the soldiers knew

Some one had blunder'd:

Theirs not to make reply,

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to do and die:

Into the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon in front of them

Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with shot and shell,

Boldly they rode and well,

Into the jaws of Death,

Into the mouth of Hell

Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,

Flash'd as they turned in air

Sabring the gunners there,

Charging an army while

All the world wonder'd:

Plunged in the battery-smoke

Right thro' the line they broke;

Cossack and Russian

Reel'd from the sabre-stroke

Shatter'd and sunder'd.

Then they rode back, but not

Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon behind them

Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with shot and shell,

While horse and hero fell,

They that had fought so well

Came thro' the jaws of Death,

Back from the mouth of Hell,

All that was left of them,

Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?

O the wild charge they made!

All the world wonder'd.

Honour the charge they made!

Honour the Light Brigade,

Noble six hundred!

—Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The 600 came charging into sure-death because of a mistake by their leader.  For honor's sake, they asked not why they marched, but instead charged forward though totally surrounded by enemies.

Tiger Stadium, officially recorded as the loudest stadium in college football @130 decibels, is nicknamed: Death Valley. Here you are truly surrounded... by your enemy.

Its 10:20 on a saturday night

and I'm home alone. I opted to stay home alone tonight because I'm tired. I worked on my house with my family ALL DAY LONG till 7PM!!!!!! AHHH

But I've had a revelation tonight.

Like I said in my previous post, I've been debating the existence of God with someone for several days now. And I feel that both of us came well prepared with arguments. Neither of us agreed with a SINGLE THING the other said and TONIGHT the LORD spoke to me!

He said:

Jillien, you cannot argue me into someone's soul!  What are you doing???? You have to live, breathe, exist, eat, shower, work, write with my Spirit guiding you. You have to be my temple. You have to be the living Church, and they will see Me in you, as My faithful daughter.  Don't argue. Just LOVE!   Love others as I love you. 

Friday Fragments

--I've been in a charged debate with someone over the existence of God. Loving every minute of it and love how much thought this young man has put into his world. I hope to put more thoughts and different thoughts into it.


--I've been ridiculously busy trying to get my home sell-ready. Its a mess and dirty and needs a paint job and has so much work it doesn't even make sense.


--I've run out of books to read and am (-) this close to running to Barnes and Noble right now to pick one up! I've already packed up about a hundred books and feel like theres nothing left to entertain me.


--I'm wondering how much longer until I feel like I've got mothering down packed. When will I become the mother than I aspire to be?


--I can't wait for Church on Sunday. I've had to surrender my burdens to the Lord in the past, but right now it seems like I'm surrendering my whole life..... As a mother, friend, wife, writer, person, Christian. I need help with it all right now.


JM

So Sad but true

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Look at those slippers!!!!! oh goodness. I don't own slippers, but I have my own personal version of this :/

Haiku! New

This weeks theme: Chrysalis

My leafy green tomb

hugs me tightly as I sleep--

dreaming of new life.

Find out your love language!!!!

If you listen to K Love in the morning, I'm sure you've heard them talking about Love Languages.

Anyway... they've posted on the Lisa and Eric page, a quiz to figure out your love language. It is very powerful stuff to know! Imagine never feeling loved as a child because your family never wanted to hug you or cuddle with you--you never realizing that that was just not the way they expressed love, and them never understanding how important it was for you to receive affection through personal touch?!

Click Here to take the quiz and try to figure out the love languages of your family. It may just be the helping hand in making your children, husband, wife feel truly loved.

Here's my love language:

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Sunday Citar

To continue my recent theme of the Lion and the Lamb....

Lord who made the lion and the lamb,
You decreed I should be what I am.
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan?
If I were a wealthy man.

--Reb Tevye, Fiddler on the Roof

Backstory: Growing up every Sunday morning, my father would wake me up by playing records loudly, and Fiddler on the Roof was especially his favorite. We lived in a very small house (they still live in it actually), and any sound echoed through its small halls. Well after he'd successfully wake me up with the Yibby dibby dibbies I get up and head to the living room (2 steps out my bedroom door) and see my mother, father and grandmother already dancing in the living room. I'd come out and dance with my family until it were time for the women to cook and my father to work outside and for me to do whatever small children do... probably go from mother to father to grandmother annoying them as they try to work.

Its been a while since

I've posted about my celebrity crushes ahahahha.
Here's your chance to roll your eyes and try not to yack up breakfast:

Well I've recently lost all affection for my previous love Russell Brand due to his recent engagement to the female artist I loathe don't enjoy very much: Katy Perry.

I've no one to replace him with in my heart, so I figured I'd bring out an oldie but goodie:
Enrique Iglesias. You're welcome ladies!





To the gentlemen, who never seem to be allowed to have crushes, feel free to comment on the leading ladies you love the most.  

JM
Post Script:Isn't that funny how wives and girlfriends can have celebrity crushes, but are completely indignant toward our men if they admit to a crush.

When I've Run Out of Words

When I've nothing left to write

And all my other thoughts are 

Too private to type

Or too me to expose

Or too vapid to admit,

I read. 

And oceans lap my toes.

The skies open, 

And the hands of God 

Are sculpting mountains.

I feel the lips of a

Long anticipated lover

Softly brushing against my neck.

I am lost.

Lost in the words of another.

Lost in words of Divine Inspiration.

Lost in the words of the world. 

I am happy

And free in 

My ever churning

Torrent of words.

Haiku?! Love me some Haikus

Today's theme: Vision

For in the future

I cannot see nor predict

What will come my way.

Will I sell my home?

How much money will I lose?

When will I have peace?

I surrender it

To you LORD. You will be the

Light onto my path.

a little bit of cyanide with my happiness

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


I can be like this. I know things are bad for me, but I do them anyway..... Although my bad habits sometimes seem like they have a mind of their own, never like that!! hahah





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Everyone has a friend like this! 


And like always... one for the road 



Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


UHG! I can't stand when ppl give me bad directions. and I also hate when people only give landmarks.... "When you see the big rock on the right you know you went too far.  Take the U-turn in front of the barber shop and go until you see the street sign that's kind of crooked. Turn left there!"

5 year blogging Anniversary

is coming up this June. And during that time I've grown from a 19 year old kid in college to a 24 year old mother and wife. I have gone through so many ups and downs... Sometimes given Too Much Info!  Sometimes been an idiot. Sometimes been wise. Sometimes been funny. Sometimes been lame. Well, you get the point. A lot can happen in 5 years.

And I'm thinking about what I can do to celebrate.

Also, my 10,000 visitor is fast approaching, and I'm wondering about that too. A long time ago I used to follow this one blog that had people take a screen shot of the visitor counter whenever it reached a certain number and that person would win a prize.

I could do that, but see here's the problem:

I've never really had an extremely popular blog. There are blogs that pop up with insta-followers. 1000 visitors a day, 50 comments per post, advertisers, the works!! And they are awesome and exciting, but my blog has never reached that mass appeal. Its really been a place where I can post my poems. Rant on all my grievances. Express my opinions. Chronicle my adventures. Just a place to be me.

I think for most bloggers, writing is the best way to get all that jumbled mess that builds up on the inside out. Bloggers have something to say and don't mind having other people listen and chime in.  So here's your chance to chime in.....

Why did you become a blogger? Did you have something to say? Did you want to feel part of a community: scrapbookers, artists, quilters, musicians?????

how long have you been blogging? Has your theme changed with the years? Are you new? Are you a blogging vet? You could be both ya know?  A new vet.  What do you enjoy reading? Do you like it when people have music playing? Lots of pictures? Lots of words? Poetry? Comedy? Advice? Recipes?

I'm genuinely interested.

Jillien

Post Script: If you come to my blog w/in the next few days and you see the visitor counter reach 10000 be quick with the screen shot. I'll think of something cool to do.  If you have any ideas, shoot them over.

Sunday Citar

‘You have the right only to work, but not to the fruits thereof. (2.47)
Bhagavad Gita

It is the intention behind the action that makes it good or bad. An action is only as good as the intention or will behind it. (Hows that for some circular reasoning :-D ) 
But this is what I've been learning recently. Sometimes one intends to do his best and to do good, and the results don't come out too well.  Other times someone does something with poor or selfish intentions and the results are highly successful and favorable for the person. But he or she is not entitled to the fruits of his actions--the consequences--be them good or bad. He will be judged on the intent of all he does. The thoughts that proceed the action.


I need to remember to be always aware of my intentions.

The Tyger

THE TYGER (from Songs Of Experience)

By William Blake

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare sieze the fire?
And what shoulder, & what art.
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

1794

*The Tyger...Blake's response to his own poem in the Songs of Innocence, The Lamb.

My mentor Dr. C posed this question.... When one sees a creature of incredible gentility and beauty, one must think how much more gentle and beautiful the creator of this humble creature must be.  Parallel in point, when one sees a creature of terrible ferocity and power, how much more ferocious and powerful must its creator be?  Could it be that the same One who created the meek, soft lamb also created the feral,  fierce tiger? Yes. He did. God has a range of characteristics.

Bible gateway!

John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Today's Tuesday

And I'm in a funk. I just want to be alone and read.

I know I'm supposed to be busy packing the house.
I know I'm supposed to be packing our bags for our trip to NC.
I know I'm supposed to be cleaning.
I know I'm supposed to be a vigilant/ enthusiatic mother.
I know........

I just don't feel up to it today.
I want to finish my book;
In silence;
Sans interruption.

JM

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story

(in 140 characters)

I'm royalty! To think I've been taken by this bunch of ruffians only to espy these deadly figures--

probably a foreboding of my fate.

Meme hosted by Susan

Sunday Citar

“I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things... I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

(Lia--self portrait)

You're bright, cinnamon-brown curls

Dance in the wind,

Waving hello to the world.

--JM

Calliope

I call out for you,

and you come.

Slowly as a creeping mist

you fall.

Dampening my mind with 

the lightest of touches--

Until I'm drenched in you.

Dripping with you.

Its snowing in Baton Rouge

Which is a very VERY rare occasion, I must say. 


It has snowed two winters in a row. Before last year it had been 15+ years since I had seen snow. I was about 5 or so when it snowed last.


It is needless to say that Louisianians are not very prepared for the cold. It is not snowing hard. There is no ice. There's barely an inch on the ground, but East Baton Rouge school system has cancelled school since last night.


And as a mother I'm not very well prepared for snow. So when we woke up and saw it all white. I had to scramble to find warm, winter, snow clothes..... which consisted of 2 different mittens: one blue w/ snowflakes, one red striped, her father's beanie, and a long sweater over her sleep shirt.


she said she was warm so I guess I did alright!


These pictures were taken on my daughters toddler-digital camera because I have no idea where my camera is anymore!


Enjoy :)

Three Word Thursday---Its worth a shot

3WT Hosted by Quilly

This week’s words are:

facinorous – extremely wicked

extirpate – destroy completely; wipeout; surgically remove

hebdomadal – weekly; every seven days

The Bad Seed: What would you give me for a basket of kisses?

I knew I was facinorous at an extremely young age--I mean I'm only 9 and a half now, but I've known for years. It took everyone else a lot longer to figure it out. Some still haven't. It was something I was secretly very proud of--how no one seemed to have a clue. They saw me with my blond, braided pig-tails and thought they knew me. My subtle dimples softening every blow... My childish charm and innocence got me all that I wanted. It worked every time--Well, almost every time.


There was always someone. That one person who at first glance, I could tell, saw straight through me.  Or that person who, through his or her own selfishness, refused to share.  And whom I occasionally had to extirpate. I didn't want to! Its like they made me do it! They wouldn't let go!! 


First that little girl with the medal. Unfortunately, she wasn't a very good swimmer. Honestly WHO doesn't know how to swim!! She was worthless. And to think that they gave HER the gold medal, instead of me!  ...But who cares about her. She's the past. Probably all happy running around as a ghost  somewhere....


Anyway, one must choose carefully whom he or she wishes to move aside. There have been many others since that first little girl. Not like its been a hebdomadal occurrence or anything, but it wasn't until my mother tried to kill us both that I had to relax in my ambitions. Pity. There are so many more that have lessons to learn. 

Haiku! Wednesday

This week's theme: Comfort Zone

It's comf'table here.

All my mess in its right place.

All my clutter too.

I know where it is.

Shoes? Next to couch on the right.

I told you I knew....

Looking for your keys?

Its under the pile of clothes

...on the kitchen floor.

I need to clean up,

But it is not as cozy.

You know what I mean?

Moving Frenzy

Moving to North Carolina... is hard and we're not yet at the MOVING PART. we're still setting up for the sale of our home. and by setting up I mean trying to clean up and stage our house.

Just getting the determination to clean my house is impossible. The realtor is supposed to be coming sometime this week to assess my disaster my home.

So I'm putting it out there. How do you find the focus to do things you know you HAVE to do but really don't wanna!???

AMEN!

Is the headline of the Times Picayune in New Orleans today.  For in their FIRST visit to the SuperBowl, the New Orleans Saints HAVE WON IT ALL!

In their 44 year history the Saints have played 661 games.... Lost 375 of them!! Took over 21 years to even get a winning season. And this, a mere 4 1/2 years since Katrina, we've won the Superbowl AND IT WASN'T EVEN A CLOSE GAME.

Who Dat!  Who Dat! Who Dat Say dey gunna beat dem Saints?!!?!?!?!?!

What's making me laugh: SNL edition

If it were only this easy...

My daughter has been telling people recently that I'm having a baby... and No alarms because I AM DEFINITELY NOT PREGNANT... 

Its just that Lia's friend at school is going to be a big sister and has Lia all excited about the prospect.

So today in the car, Lia suggested: 

"Let's go to the grocery and buy you a baby!"

--Yeah right chica! if it were only that easy :)

Holden asked it....No one answered

Remember in the Catcher in the Rye, when Holden wondered where the fish went when the lakes froze over???

Well, where in the H do they go? I've not ever figured it out. Lakes don't usually freeze in southern Louisiana.

Haiku! Yes Please

This weeks theme: Reality

Life is really there

Whether you choose to see it

Or not. It exists.

It is separate. 

The world is not subjective--

relative to you.

People don't dis'ppear

Once you've exited the room;

You self-centered twit.

Delve

This could possibly be the end of me....

or the end of my sanity!

Have you ever had to move out of a house that was so crammed with JUNK that you could barely fit it all in to begin with?  Ever have to push things in a closet and then quickly slam the closet door before everything spilled out? Do you have to jump over things to get to your destination? what about crawl under???

No?

Well THAT is what its like living in my little townhome. And now its time to move away.

What's on my to-do list???

Why a garage sale of course! 

Have I ever done a garage sale before? NO
Do I know how to obtain a permit for a garage sale? NO
Do I have a garage? NO

Okay so I'm off to a good start.

:/ Wish me luck

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story

in 140 characters or less

"You wanted outdoor seating... 
Well, there ya have it! 
Freaking outdoor seating.  
...you're welcome."

Sunday Citar

"People are beginning again to realize that they encounter God through human experience, not despite it." D.B., (Forward to the Book of Proverbs in the New American Bible--Catholic Study edition)

God is in Haiti. It is not His will for tragedies to occur, but it is in His will to bring glory and salvation through the tragedy. It is incredible how many people have come to realize the grace of God because of this horrible earthquake, and even us here in the States and around the world, although not directly hit by the quake, were definitely rocked and shaken by the destruction.  I bet mothers all around the globe hugged their children just a little tighter during the days after the earthquake....

Don't let me let go

I remember being a kid.
Young and vibrant
Goofy and empowered
You're-not-the-boss-of-me attitude.

I remember being a kid.
Insecure and alone
Observant and severe
All-I've-got-is-my-writing mentality.

I remember being a kid
Lost in a big world
Warm hugs from my grandma
Please-just-love-me need.

I do remember being a kid.
And all the painful moments.
And some of the laughs.
And definitely all the crushes.
But more so the rejections.
The good grades and the bad ones.
The friends
And the rivals.
I remember them all on nights like this
When my mind is drowsy.
And I'm all alone.

Forgiveness

Ever hear a sermon that you swore was written just for you ?!?! 

Well that happened to me last night, and I was forced to admit that I had been behaving very unmercifully. 

Several months ago I had a falling out with someone very close to me, and i felt betrayed more than I ever had in my entire life. My heart was turned to ice toward this individual. The lies she spewed... the hateful words she screeched at me... the accusations she made of me... all together were unforgettable. they were enough to damage a sister-like, 25-year relationship.

This argument had me in the deepest of depressions for DAYS. It had me reevaluating every aspect of my character, my aptitude at being a mother, my relationships with my friends and family members. She attacked my character and shook my life terribly.

But eventually I worked through my hurt  and resolved that I had forgiven her, even though she hadn't asked for forgiveness... I accepted that I would not allow her back in my life the way she had been, but honestly thought, I was being such a good Christian for forgiving her.

Well I saw her this past weekend at a children's party we both attended, and instead of feeling forgiving and peaceful, I felt ANGER, anxiety, annoyance..... There was no forgiveness in my heart. I didn't behave like a person who had moved on. I behaved like a person still very hung up on what had happened. 

During this party, someone even tried to force us to hug and make-up... Needless to say it was very uncomfortable and juvenile. PLUS I didn't want to hug her. I wanted to go home.  I didn't want to make-up. I didn't even want to speak or look at her. 

She recently sent me a note on facebook, wishing me luck on my move and telling me that she still loved me. What did I respond???!?! "Thank you."

--that was it.

How very Christian-like of me right???!!! 

Well I didn't realize any of this. I didn't realize how unmerciful I was being until it was highlighted in last night's sermon. I didn't see how unforgiving I was being until the preacher showcased it with the Word!   

So where do I go from here? I guess just acknowledging that my heart needs to be softened is a good starting place.  But she'll never be able to take back what she did. And I can't see myself letting her back into my life or into my daughter's life. That chapter is closed. But forgiveness doesn't mean making things the way they were. Forgiveness is a state of being. It's an attitude toward a person or situation, and it's freaking difficult. But I have to do it because if I don't, how could I ask for the forgiveness of others?