Is it just me or does Zac Efron look like a Young Jared Leto?

Facebook blog--cuz i feel it must be reiterated

Years ago blogs were the thing. before there were social networking websites like facebook and myspace there were blogs. everybody had something to say and a reader interested in that something. Now personal blogs are going away.

I've had a blog for years and for a while i neglected it. I had a kid and a house and a husband and school and problems and shit that prevented me from feeling like i had anything to say. but recently i've come back. I'm redeeming my blog. I'm writing and though i'm not as fluid as i once was; i hope that soon i'll get there.

At one point strangers and friends would come to my blog and read my life and comment and leave to pursue their own lives. Then people who were too involved began reading and i began censoring. Its a fine line. too much info or lack of self expression. anyways, i'm interested in blogging again--even if there are less people interested now. Even if there is no audience. it doesn't matter. Its mine. and i'll hopefully be able to keep it forever and have my youth preserved with my words. with my poetry and thoughts and criticisms and mistakes. I'll have that no matter who reads or doesn't read.

Performance

So I have a performance at the New Orleans museum tonight, but after screaming all night Saturday; i've lost my voice. At opera rehearsal on monday I would open my mouth and only air would come out. and still today i'm not sounding right. Unfortunately for me and for the audience i'm singing 3 songs. well butchering 3 songs is more like it :(

pray that some heavenly angel helps me through this performance. I'm usually very nervous when i perform here and so this will add to my anxiety. I hope i don't pass out. Maybe she'll let me read some poetry instead of sing. I'll be prepared for anything.

New Kids on the Block

So Saturday night- i went to the best concert of my LIFE. New kids on the Block =BABY! it was incredible! I would scream at the top of my lungs and shake my arms in the air, and my cousin, Melissa, who came with me would crack up laughing at me. And then 3 seconds later when Jordan would be dirty dancing--she would go hysterical!

Donnie is all man now! he's so hot. At one point they came out in the middle of the crowd and i almost jumped on peoples heads like they were lily pads just through desire to get to them.

I was telling my baby cousin how awesome it was and i told her that i doubt any other concert could compare with it. So she responded with "what about if Britney comes?"

And as AWESOME as Britney's concert would be. I wouldn't be screaming and hyperventilating if she were to take her shirt off. I would be totally turned off actually lol.

I've been to a lot of concerts. I've seen bands live, but nothing compared to this incredible show! THey still have tour dates. Get tickets and go b/c it is super awesome.

As a minority...

I feel like I have an advantage of looking at things with a clearer vision. I know that sounds strange,but give me minute and I'll explain.

So we're going through this very monumental presidential election. On one hand we have obama a democrat who supports abortion and other policies that I cannot support--also his past affiliations with black panthers and other outrageously racist black supremacists honestly scare me. And then we have this older white male who --for the most part-- offers everything i feel this country needs.

Now many people are voting for Obama because he's African American and other more educated people are voting for him because they believe in his vision for america. I just happen to be a Hispanic female who isn't supporting another minority because he's a minority, who happens to see the "reverse racism" all over the media.

THe other day they were showing clips of the presidential candidates being asked questions that they had difficulty answering.

As an American, I was particularly offended by one:

John McCain was asked "What have you done to improve the lives of African Americans?"... and of course as a testament that he's a racist--he had difficulty answering.

Now let me ask you if you honestly can say that this question is fair at all? What incredible responsibility to place on ONE MAN to improve the lives of millions of people, but not all people or Americans in general.. He had to put all his attention and effort to improve the lives of just African Americans.

Really what happened to "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what YOU can do for your Country. " Is it racists to reply. "What have African Americans done to improve their OWN lives?"

I'm tired of being Latino American. In reality I'm an AMERICAN. just plain AMERICAN. improve the lives of Americans--not hispanics or blacks or women. When are we going to just let it all go?

Its good to embrace your heritage and your ethnicity but to separate yourself from others based on it, is Un-American.

I'm so incredibly EXCITED

I really can't wait to see the Twilight movie. ALTHOUGH, as is obvious from the trailer, the movie is NOTHING like the book. I mean there are similarities, and by similarities I mean Names and places.

Here's the new trailer for your viewing pleasure.


Twilight HD Exclusive Trailer

Hilarious

This is from Fairly Odd Parents:

[Father and son talking. Father reminiscing about old times]

FAther: My dreams were shattered years ago.

Son: How many years ago?

Father: How old are you?



I don't care who you are...that's funny right der.

Can you believe that!

So I guess I don't learn.

Now I'm doing the offending. Gosh, I forget that there are people out there are more sensitive than me. I forget to check my words. I forget to have tact and class at times. Its insane.

When am I going to grow up?

Offenses

have you ever been offended by a person who wasn't trying to be offensive by his or her language? in a way when the person is NOT trying to be offensive it makes the offense that much greater BECAUSE it means the words are more connected with his or her perception of the truth.

if you could follow that, you truly have a genius mind.

Anyways: You can't help but feeling like you have something to do with that perception or assumption or negation.... Its hard to describe--other than asking yourself, why. Why would this person think this capable of you or normal for you.

One Act One Scene Play

[Husband and wife sitting at the computer looking at Husband's facebook profile]

Wife: Dude, you need to change that profile picture. Its like from 1098347 years ago.

Husband: OOhhh yeah lets make a couple of albums.

Wife: Okay, but first we need to change the profile picture.

[Wife chooses what she believes to be a great picture of Husband and uploads it as his official profile picture]

Husband: What the hell! Take that picture down. I look like I weigh 110 in that pic.

Wife: You weigh 110 right now.

[Wife chooses another picture that she thinks would be great as his profile pic]

Husband: What's wrong with you! You chose pictures that make me look like I'm on AIDS.

Butterfly Winds

out of my control
its been
out of my hands.
My butterfly wings started the wind
and now
I'm trapped in an endless spin.

Lia starts preschool

Depending on Gustav, Lia is scheduled to start Pre-k2 next friday. I'm so incredibly excited. I can't wait. I know its only 4 hours a day and they are going to fly by, but I can't express how much I'm looking forward to those 4 hours. The other parents were saying how sad they were going to be, and I felt slightly out of place with that sentiment because I'm the opposite. I'm relying on those few hours to retain my sanity. lol

Our family has really become involved this summer. We all have our activities that allow us to express ourselves. Lee has his triathlons, Lia has gymboree and now pre-school, and I have BRSO Chorus and my new work out regiment. But there are still things coming up. Still more opportunities. We're praying for success on these new endeavors.

TTWWWIIILLLIIIGGGHHTT: twilight twilight twilight!

i'm sooo addicted to the Twilight series of novels. Not only have I read all of the books, TWICE. I also read and watch everything the internet has to offer on the upcoming movie. Although, I am really disappointed that they've decided to delete/add/change some of the events of the book. I wish the author would have been more stern on the adaptation of her novel. Instead, I'm pretty sure that the movie will be more like: "loosely inspired by the novel Twilight". NONETHELESS, i'm still ECSTATIC!!!! I just looooove Robert Pattinson who is playing Edward Cullen. I think he'll be great. I've decided to provide you with 2 very hilarious twilight spoofs. They'll only be funny if you've read the books. So if you haven't please take a moment to read them and catch up.... do do do do do do do dum dum dum do da do da... that should be enough. And now for your viewing pleasure!

i think it's apparent that we miss each other

Light as air
But like gentle gravity's pull
Time has shown us where
And how our lives have fared.

Walking separately
Yet we both have remained
the same, although changed
by playing life's game.

Do you have the strength?

Would you have the strength to see someone's email up on the computer screen and NOT read it? Not feel the urge to scan through the intimate thoughts of others?

Or do you think its your right to read b/c if the thoughts were so personal why were they up for anyone to read?

How does this work?

If you ask me, I don't think one should EVER read someone's emails or letters without permission. It is such an invasion. Plus things can get misconstrued. Thats the way wrong assumptions rot the mind. Its ironic that I blog. I allow many personal thoughts to be read by complete strangers, but at least that is my intention. My emails are not intended to be read by anyone other than the addressee.

JM

All Together now

Its strange how slowly yet intensely life can pass without your awareness. Lately my anxiety has been growing. I didn't realize how intense it had become until it was suddenly relieved today. Just a simple phone call from a friend and a loving visit from my beautiful cousin last night released the mounting pressure. It also hasn't helped that this week has been an endless distraction from life due to the twilight books. I started the first book on Monday. Its saturday night and i'm over half way done the last book. It has been an intense reading week. Unfortunately for my family, when I begin reading it is hard for me to pull myself away, and then I find myself doing nothing but reading. I don't eat. I don't sleep. I just read. I'm thanking God that I'm almost done, and by next week I'll be able to concentrate on Lia the way I should be. I'm feeling better now.

Recent Pictures

Overwhelmed

I keep breathing in and out
yet the air can't seem to satisfy,
and the harder i try
the harder it is
to breathe in again--
ya dig?!

Trying to remember
that its all gunna be alright--
is not working right now
I need space;
get out my face!

I love you,
but I can't.
I need you,
but not right now.

Just a place to call my own,
and come out when I'm ready.
In a minute- in a day-- in a week
maybe a year
but still
without it
I'm overwhelmed.
Under appreciated
Un loved
and out of patience
ya hear!

Help me
I'm sinking.
I'm falling
I'm drowning
In my own anger
at what seems so small,
to me right now is so large
so big--
Ya dig?!

Counting down the days
Like my savior is on his way
Like my king has saved the day
Like my Lord is answering my pray-
'ers!
Ya heard?!

Finally I'm cooling down
my words were flowing out
and with them my anxiety
and stress
for another time
in another mess.
I'll be back
to lay the rhyme
to ring the chime
to dance the jig
Ya dig?!

Glancing through the Past

So lately I've been hung up about the past. I think about old friends; I look for them on myspace/facebook; I also have been reading my old posts from 3 years ago. I feel like i've changed so much. I used to be funny and witty, but I feel like I may have lost that. I feel like i've begun to stop finding humor in the world around me. It makes me sad. Everyone's life keeps moving forward, including mine, but I keep looking back and then tripping on things that are in front of me because i'm not looking where I'm going. I want a little of my old self. Is that impossible?

My Little Girl

You're my little girl
and my best friend.
Love you more than life
because my love has no end:
With your beautiful eyes
that you must get from me,
and your sassy attitude,
but from who could that be?
My Little Girl -L-I-A
What can I say?
I live every day
to see your smile
showing all 6 of your teeth.
It makes my heart melt.
In my life,
I've never felt
such pride
inside.
to the LORD I lift
my heart and thanks
for such a precious gift.
And I pray
every night
and every day
for the strength to be the type
of mom to make your life
go right.
Be happy.
Be you.
Stay true.
That's what I wish for you,
My little girl.

Jillien