One Act One Scene Play (its been a while since I've done one of these)

[Wife and Husband at home. Two rooms on stage separated by a partition. Stage left is a bedroom where Wife is laying reading a book. Stage right is a living room where Husband is watching tv.]


Wife: Husband,  Can you come in here for a moment??

[Husband gets up from couch and walks toward stage left to the room. He hangs between center stage for a moment just looking in the room. Wife is reading yet another romance novel. The hunky half-nude man on the cover is the DEAD-GIVEAWAY of this.]

Husband: Ugh, I hate when you read those books.... you fantasize about me too much afterward.

[Wife cracks up laughing with its absurdity.]


The end.

drama

Just a passing thought

On nights like this
When sleep eludes me,
When rest scoffs at me,
When peace seeps away
Like a fading mist,
I think of you.

I think of the past
And made-up futures--
Futures so crisp
Yet so impossible
Its hard to breathe;
All this--when I think of you.

I wonder where it all went wrong
And try to convince myself
That it all turned out right.
Then try to smile when I look around
And try to not cry cuz I can't get out
When I think of you.

I think of my racing heart
And my sweaty hands
And my blubbering words
And my expectant glances
With your cool responses
And detached expressions

I think of my mistakes
Of my too-few right decisions
Of my steps away
And of my fumbles toward
Of my willingness to return
But my need to be good.

I think of where I am now
And where I'll be
And where I was
And who I'll see
When I go back
Or if I'll ever go back...

Delve

2 COR 12 5-10

A year ago I visited this verse. And  I sit here tonight thinking about it again. but this time I'm focusing on just the first bit:

⁵ I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. ⁶ Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 


I honestly feel like I've adopted this into my life, and I really do try to only boast about my weaknesses--even to the point of being slightly self-deprecating. But I've run across a couple of people in my life who enjoy patronizing... who enjoy making "fun"... who enjoy feeling like they got it right, and to tell you the truth it is TICKING ME OFF.


If I were to run my mouth about myself or my family, I would be no fool and could run it for a while without exaggerating the truth one bit, and when faced with these types of people it almost pushes me to do so.


Ever meet someone or a couple of someones who always have the snappy remark or the rolling of the eyes or the facetious "Yeeaaahh ooookaaay...."? As a Christian you wonder, how do I deal with this!?  Its so passive. Nothing outright rude--just little subtle jabs.  I feel like I would rather people be agressive about their feelings and spew it on out so I can handle it with equal force than the gnawing agitation that passive agressive people make me feel.


Although not in the same context this is what it makes me think of:


Revelation 3:16 (New King James Version)

¹⁶ So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.


Can I get an AMEN!?


Out with it! Your lukewarm-ness disgusts me. And what's worse is that it comes from within. It comes from one's mind and heart... the genuine feeling that the other person is an idiot, or is not as "good" as I am--and when I say good I mean in a moral sense... I'm just such a GOOD person that I would have never said or done or felt that, or didn't do something the Right way, which of course had I done it.... it would have been the right way.


Now don't get me wrong. I can be like this too sometimes, and I'm sure I've been this "lukewarm" person to someone. And because I don't want anyone to think more of me than is warranted, I'll just say this prayer:


"Lord, help my heart. It is not enough to hold one's tongue, but to wipe the ugly thoughts out of one's very MIND, Lord. Aid me in my struggle to be a beacon of your love so that no one, my family, friends, strangers, co-workers will ever feel this way because of my words or my behaviors or my thoughts toward them. 


In your mighty name I pray!"

The night before

The night before it all happens.
The smells,
The laughs,
The words...
I can't sleep with the very pulse of it all
bursting through the
Anticipatory air.

Delved

Until it pours again...

It pours on me
sometimes.
The skies open...
on purpose, I'm convinced.
And I'm gasping for a single breath
without choking on it all.
And the drops pelt every inch of me.
Until I can not bear another sensation
On my skin.
I feel like clawing at my body with the very
maddening nature of it all.
Then with an almost audible snap
it shuts.
I dry slowly with time,
Then just to be cruel--
am not given a single drop more--
till my dryness is slightly uncomfortable.
Then nearly unbearable.
Where all my skin feels chapped.
And I imagine that all of it will chip away.
And I'm completely stagnant
Not wanting to move for fear of drying out further.
It's then that I think of you.

Delve

YIKES!

Its been almost a month since I've had something to say. How does life just fly away from you like that?

I've been studying Esther with a group of women from our Church.  Its been a pretty amazing ride, although I do feel some added pressure in its success as a group considering that I'm the "group leader" for this session and its being held at my house. Lately we've had some low numbers and I can't help but wonder if it is because of the study I chose or my style of leading the study. I hope that I can maintain an engaging spirit and add some depth to a short but powerful book in the bible.

I'm still singing worship, although each time I go up there I feel more embarrassed than the time before. I feel every mistake and ill-prepared vocal.  But imagine if I can't find time to write (which is my passion) then how can I sit long enough to rehearse.  I pray so desperately when I'm on stage for the holy Spirit to just take over and let Him move the souls of the congregation because relying on my vocals and preparation sure as heck won't be enough.

I'm still working hard as an insurance agent. I spend the majority of my awake hours there, and I wonder how in the WORLD am I going to keep this up? How am I going to continue with the stress of trying to be successful at marketing and sales. How am I going to continue with the time away from my daughter? How am I going to continue getting up early and having to dress up in suit and heels and do my hair and make up every darn day of my life?! But then its Monday again, and I get in my routine, and I power through it somehow... Just yearning for the weekend.

Friday I leave for a women's conference called Women of Faith.  And while I am excited,  I've also been thinking "here's another thing I've decided to do and another day away from my daughter." When am I going to just focus on her? I feel like its been so long since I've devoted myself entirely to my family. In Louisiana I had so many distractions from my family that it was starting to rip us apart. Now I'm working to sustain my family and to help my husband with the burden of our finances. I'm participating in Church because I love God and hunger to soak up his Spirit. And even these things, which I do with the best of intentions, consume my time and attention.  I want to be a better mother. I just don't know how.

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story

(in 139 characters)

While it took a little longer than expected

The wait was finally over!

Standing there

Until the last person left the train

He never showed.

The Happy Story
(in 141 characters)

Well its not exactly the train to Hogwarts
But it was her train to destiny
After 60 years of serving the world
The world would now serve her.

hosted by: stony river

Take this TEST!!!!

I don't do too many quizzes but hONESTLY this was uncanny!

Take it and share your results! its incredible!!

CLICK ME TO TAKE THE TEST!
Here's my personality description:

Performers have the special ability, even among the Artisans, to delight those around them with their warmth, their good humor, and with their often extraordinary skills in music, comedy, and drama. Whether on the job, with friends, or with their families, Performers are exciting and full of fun, and their great social interest lies in stimulating those around them to take a break from work and worry, to lighten up and enjoy life.
Performers are plentiful, something over ten percent of the population, and this is fortunate, because they bring pleasure to so many of us. Performers are the people for whom it can truly be said "all the world's a stage." Born entertainers, they love the excitement of playing to an audience, and will quickly become the center of attention wherever they are. Performers aren't comfortable being alone, and seek the company of others whenever possible-which they usually find, for they make wonderful playmates. Performers are smooth, talkative, and witty; they always seem to know the latest jokes and stories, and are quick with wisecracks and wordplay-nothing is so serious or sacred that it can't be made fun of. Performers also like to live in the fast lane, and seem up on the latest fashions of dress, food, drink, and music. Lively and uninhibited, Performers are the life of the party, always trying to create in those around them a mood of eat, drink, and be merry.

The Performers' talent for enjoying life is healthy for the most part, though it also makes them more subject to temptations than the other types. Pleasure seems to be an end in itself for them, and variety is the spice of life. And so Performers are open to trying almost anything that promises them a good time, not always giving enough thought to the consequences.
Like the other Artisans, Performers are incurably optimistic - "Always look on the bright side," is their motto - and they will avoid worries and troubles by ignoring them as long as possible. They are also the most generous of all the types, and second only to the Composer Artisans [ISFPs] in kindness. Performers haven't a mean or stingy bone in their body-what's theirs is yours-and they seem to have little idea of saving or conserving. They give what they have to one and all without expectation of reward, just as they love freely, and without expecting anything in return. In so many ways, Performers view life as an eternal cornucopia from which flows an endless supply of pleasures.
Elizabeth Taylor, John Goodman, Marylin Monroe, Judy Garland, Magic Johnson, Pablo Picasso, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, Elvis, and Leonard Bernstein are examples of Performer Artisans.click me!

pain!!

my gum pain is so excruciating right now I can barely breathe.

It is inflamed on one section... but it came out of NOWHERE. like what in the world! I've never had a toothache/gum/mouth ache nOTHING. and I feel like pulling the teeth out of my head if that would alleviate the pain.

I feel the pain all the way up my mouth by my nose, in my ears, and on my pallat...of course not mentioning the ACTUAL spot on my gums that hurts like the dickens.

I've tried the tea bags, and the warm salt water, and the ambesol, and the floss and massaging with the toothbrush.

Here's what I do know!

Do NOT massage.

Do NOT do the salt water (it makes it worse)

Take LOTS OF ibuprofen!!

Gargle Listerine....

The tea bags feel okay because of the pressure but when you take them off, your mouth is worse than it was before and you want to die.

I need some supernatural healing right now.

Missing

I didn't know it was missing
Until it had returned,
And then I was insatiable.

Living in dual minds
Trying to imagine what it would be like
While unable to imagine life any other way.

Delve

Praise and Worship

If you've been reading my blog for any given time you know how much I love to perform.

Singing and performing revolutionized my life as an obnoxious, exuberant teen, and it defined me as an adult in college. I finally found something that I could do. I had a voice---a voice that was all my own.

After college, I auditioned for the Baton Rouge Symphony Orchestra and spent 2 amazing years learning opera choruses and really stretching myself as an educated singer. I met my best friend in BRSO, and looking back I think it will be one of my most beautiful memories.

Now, I sing worship at our church on select Sundays, and I'm singing contemporary Christian music and am learning a whole new type of singing. One that requires not only good singing instincts but singing smarts.  I got by in BRSO with my ability to anticipate the music and to hear my fellow Second Sopranos when I needed to find the right key... But singing worship is different. I realize that I don't have the smarts that I'll need to be more of an asset and less of a hassle.

But I have to admit, I love it. I love the band and especially our worship leader. He's patient, talented, level-headed, and easy-going. All the traits necessary for singing along side me week after week. On stage we're the only two voices. Just he and I. No other second sopranos to feed off of or to pick up on the key changes. And while I'm not as good a "harmonizer" as I hope to one day be, I have received enough feedback to realize that we sound good together. It is one of the highest compliments anyone could pay me. See I left my ego in college. In BRSO it was all about being one beautiful cohesive voice. And to feel like I achieve that during worship is a dream.

While I know there is much progress to be made, I just enjoy knowing that my voice melds with his. That through our voices the Spirit of the Lord penetrates the people of Story Church. That my voice isn't abrasive or a distraction from the Holy Spirit working in the hearts of our congregation.

"I cannot sing like someone else. I can only sing like I sing."
--jm

Heart racing
I sit
impatiently.
Waiting to hear
what you thought
of someone else.

Delve

My daughter's birthday

In less than a month, my daughter turns 4.

Four years! and in those four years plus the 40 weeks leading up to that day, my life flipped around and spun around and twisted and transformed.

And time has moved away from me so quickly, I'm left reeling. I can't believe yet another year has passed. Last year Lia had 3 separate birthday celebrations--an abundance of friends and cake and laughter.

So am I going to go through a huge ordeal for her 4th birthday? Her friends are 1000+ miles away. Her family is 500-1000+.

TOTALLY I AM!

Why?

Because it is her birthday, and if anyone remembers that day it's ME for sure. I will celebrate her life. I will try to make it as special as possible, because on that day God changed my life forever. On that day, one i can never forget, I was blessed with Lia.

ITs more a celebration forme than for her.... although I do want her to enjoy :)

My cryptic words

So I called for inspiration and I've spoken in nothing but prose for weeks lol.

Cacophony

I only heard a bit.
A wee bit,
Which definitely showed
You were trying.

But you will hear me.
My voice will trill with praise.
And at the soul--
At the very pit, you will hear God.

7 AM

Seven AM Thoughts.
Rushing,
Hungry Thoughts.
Excited,
Nervous Thoughts
At seven AM.

Laid in bed and watched the sun grow bright.
Remembered my dreams
That consumed my night
All these feelings and faces and bodies
Fill my seven AM thoughts.

Then with some simple taps
I preserve this day
Like a jar of apple butter
Sweet and tantalizing and
Not-too-good-for-you
I store my seven AM thoughts.

Delve

Take A Seat

I sit down...
Some more
With feet aching.
This is a different type of sitting.
This is leisurely sitting...
A sitting filled with depth and longing.
A sitting calmed with rhythmic breathing.
A sitting with eyes closed.
I'm waiting
For the words.
Only words.
No calls
Or orders
Or goals
Or expectations
This sitting is my sitting.
I hum.
And the familiar voice is echoed through my ears and mind
I know this voice and I quickly shut it off
wishing not to make a sound.
I want my body entirely silent.
Just sitting.
This is where I feel my best.
Not on a beach with the bright sun crisping my skin.
Not on a boat ride bouncing on the choppy waves.
But in my room
Darkened room
With no sounds.
Only words.
Silent words.
Oh,
and Sitting, of course.

Exasperation

Its that feeling, ya know?
When the words that shouldn't be said
Blurt out.
When the thoughts that shouldn't be thought
Fumble themselves out your mouth.
Its this feeling I get after every occasion,
After every visit,
After every conversation.
And its because you're new to me.
Its because I'm new to you.
Its because I'm my own harshest critic.
Its because I feel a constant burden to be a beacon of God's love,
Whilst being sinful,
While being flawed.
While being myself and liking who I am
Yet being ashamed of how I feel
Or what I've done.
Or what I said
Or for how I made you feel
Or how I think I made you feel.
And this is all I feel
Every Time
I speak.

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story

(in 140 characters)

This black mountain

was ferociously loud.
Without food, water
People or love

The fight had left him.
He braced himself for
Its dark embrace.

hosted by: Stony River @www.stoneyriver.ie

Is it terrible?????

Is it terrible to acknowledge when a baby isn't cute??

Do all babies have to be called cute?  Its like an unspoken rule....

I know the old saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."  And I totally believe that. But in reality... there must be some uncute babies out there right?

I See God There: Ode to Kimi C

In your smooth west-coast flair
I see God there.
And as you gently ripple through the thrashing waves
And lead the women through example and grace,
I see God there.
It is your constant support of a man much burdened,
That allows a whole people to become closer to salvation
That much closer to the LORD.
And it is in that love that I see God.
And to me even closer still.
You've blessed and cared
For that most precious to me.
You stepped in, when I was forced to step out,
And I see God there too.

Erato

I call on you once more tonight.
My mind had settled in endless night.
No thoughts or words or light or rhymes
Have left my shell until these lines.

And farther down I push you still
With eyes closed tight the tapping fills
My ears; my absence dried up all reserves
of long lost talent in shifting words.

So as the moon above me shivers
In mad delight, my body quivers
In fear of having lost it all--
The words that cushioned every fall...

Falls into the lonely spaces
And plunges into angry traces
And tracks around familiar faces
Of sins pushed down in waiting places.

you're welcome

There must be a way

To transition from stay at home mom/ susie homemaker to professional working mom/woman. I just haven't found it yet.

I broke down....

after her pleading in the store, and bought Lia silly bandz....

I can't believe the trends have started at 3 years old. I thought for sure I had until 10... lol

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story 

(in 144 characters... sorry for the cheat. I'm out of practice)

Not so much a secret as purposeful neglect.

He said he would let it all fall down.

And it did. It fell.

While memories like stones chipped away.

Fads

I had never heard of a Silly Band before moving to North Cackalacky. Even gas stations advertise that silly bandz are in stock!
But every single child between the age of 3 and 18 is loaded up with Silly Bandz....And I'm wondering why?

When I was a kid what was the THING that everyone HAD TO HAVE?? Were they scrunchies? or comic cards? or pogs?  But why? How do these things occur? Just brilliant marketing? The right, popular girl in school has them and it causes a butterfly effect that sweeps the nation?

Well whatever it is---it IS. It is in these Silly Bandz. It was in the pogs of the 90's. What will it be in 10 years? Who or what will be the catalyst for that craze?

Where could I have gone?

I've been working.

Yes after almost 4 years of stay at home mothering... I am now a working mother and wife. It is such a strange feeling. I am elated that I'm able to learn a new industry(insurance) and that I'm able to contribute to the financial well-being of our family, but I am also struggling with the thought that i have to go EVERY STINKING DAY. and that I have to be there OVER EIGHT STINKING HOURS!  

I'm fortunate that the people I work with are AMAZING, helpful, God-fearing, beautiful, funny, intelligent, etc. etc. etc (the king and I--look it up)

Anyways that means....

I'm so incredibly busy, its hard to breathe. Hard to type. Hard to write. Hard to think. Hard to emote. Hard to imagine.

I hope I don't lose myself.

Quotes of Late

Lia saying grace: "Dear Jesus, thank you for our food... and then he huffed and he puffed and he bleeewwww the house down."

Lia after I cut Lee's hair: "Daddy, why do you have Cristiano Ronaldo hair?"

Lia describing Charlotte's Web: "Charlotte is a spider, and she DIED!"
LEE= Mortified
Jillien: No Lia tell daddy about the movie....
Lia: "Wilbur was saying NO NO DON"T DIE! but Charlotte said, "No. I'm dead"
Lee= extremely mortified "WHAT KIND OF MOVIE DID YOU TAKE HER TO!"

What I'm watching

The Love Message Revisited

I'm always wondering why...

Why I get angry so quickly. Why I can't just let things slide. Why I'm so impatient. 

But recently the Lord has been sending a message to me of LOVE. He's been pressing this theme upon me, and I can't just let it slip me by as if to say, "I don't have a problem with love... look at my family. I love my family"... right?

Sometimes its hard to love, or maybe I should say it this way: Sometimes its hard to love properly. Love without expectations. Love without stipulations. Love without resentment. Love immediately. Love patiently. Love kindly.

How many mothers out there can relate to loving one's child impatiently??? A LOT right!

BUT how about loving one's child resentfully? Not so much, I'm sure.

Although I there are probably many reasons I am the way I am, including my upbringing and my parents' style of child rearing, I can't help but wonder if my own resentment at getting pregnant at such a young age and all the depression and havoc it initially caused in my life have anything to do with how I behave today? Maybe I'm still holding on to the “old days.”

But I think the Lord knows my heart; He knows how desperately I want to succeed as a parent and wife, and He's trying to help. Recently I believe God has sent me clues as to how to defeat these dark moments. How to forgive the world and forgive my circumstances and forgive my husband and forgive my child even though they are guiltless. 

How? Ephesians 4! that's how! But I'll go backwards  Starting from the hardest and most important to the daily requirements of proper love....

32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.

First Forgive! Make a conscience decision every day to forgive ahead of time. Before any fault is committed, they are forgiven. They are forgiven immediately and without need of repayment. Just as we live in the complete forgiveness of the LORD.

31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Second let it all go! All the hurts. All the ill will. All the resentment and anger. Let it slip from you. Write a letter. Have a talk. Pray on it.  Just do it. Start fresh every morning. Make no record of wrongdoing.  Clean slate every day.

 29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I am the queen of mean. Sometimes I say the most hurtful things because I'm angry.

6"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

We are not justified to sin even if our anger is justified. Wanna be a better person?  Learn how to hold your tongue. Learn some self control. 

Finally after all this:

16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Now this post is in no way a testament of how wise I am, nor am I a psychoanalyst who has some sort of insight into these types of things. No Way! I am just a woman who has been desperately praying and begging the Lord to aid her in her life, and who the Lord has guided to this one central message: LOVE. Just love unconditionally and without any hint of resentment because of the past or anger or impatience. And it goes for all of my relationships. Not just as a mother, but as a wife, daughter, and daughter-in-law, cousin, friend, and acquaintance.

And why am I sharing all this? Because I can't be the only one.

I've been receiving this message for about a week, (its probably been longer and I just wasn't listening but now that I am, already I'm better!) I remind myself in the morning to relax, to not overreact, to behave lovingly, and then I try my best to fulfill that goal for my day. And I feel the anger slipping away. (sometimes I do mess up) but I start again. And I'm hoping that this becomes  a life long change for me.  

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story 1

(in 140 characters or less)

Come to us they sang.

But their shrill voices were driving me mad!

If you'd had heard it, you wouldn't blame me for what I did next...

The Story 2

(in 133 characters)

UGH!! Back up off me.

I done told you! I Do Not Have Any More Bait for you to eat.

You're lucky I don't stick a hook in the next one!

hosted by : stony river

The Love Message

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Mother Teresa 


Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action.
Mother Teresa 

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home.
Mother Teresa 

Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand.
Mother Teresa 


Be careful when you pray for patience, because God will answer that prayer with more opportunities to be patient. 
Lead Pastor Kimi.

Sometimes I struggle with how much I should type out on this thing. How much I should share. Not knowing who's reading or who knows me on here makes it an ever greater risk that the personal things I type on my blog can be used against me or can be spread as gossip about me. And I struggle with that because like I've gone through so many things, that I've learned so much and have gone through such an interesting journey of faith that I feel called to share the things I've learned. Even though its embarrassing or hurtful. Even though I would rather everyone have this surreal picture of perfection when it comes to my life, I still find myself typing out the most intimate secrets.  

My mornings are mine no longer

I write at night--

When I'm tired and worn

Because I'm more tired

Early in the morn.

___________________________

You notice me not because you are looking

But because you happen to glance and see me there.

You speak to me not because you are yearning

But because I called out to you and you were there.

___________________________________________

I read and read.
I'm searching for You.
I call out to You.
I implore You.
And everyday
Its all the same.
No change.
Not yet.

Microfiction Monday

 The Picture

The Story

(In 140 characters)

DagNabbit, BillyBob!
I thought I done told ya
Lazy Dog's too fancy for my likin
All dem prissy folk think dey too
good for a 2pc &a biscuit.

Hosted by: Stony River

Late night Blogging!

Its one AM, and I'm feeling inspired.

A couple of weeks ago marked my 5 year blogging anniversary. 5 years. I've been typing/ recording/ thinking/ babbling/ blundering... for FIVE years.

During that time I underwent so many changes, made so many mistakes, cracked so many jokes, made so many friends.... lost those friends. Shed some tears. Graduated college. Had a baby. Got married. Made a life. Became an SPP mom. Moved away.

And here I sit. Wondering where I'll be in another 5 years. I went from 19 to 24 [i'll be 25 next month] in 5 more years I'll be 30. Will I still be here? On stupidsometimes.com?

Nicknames, like the Infamous that I got as a kid, will they still make sense then? They barely make sense now. Will I change it? Or hold on for "old time's sake?"

Will I still call myself a writer?

Will I still be reading? Following? Commenting?

5 years.

If you'd have talked to me 5 years ago, I would have never thought I'd be a mother, not to mention a wife and a North Carolina resident!

It just goes to show you that the plans God has for us is beyond the scope of our imaginations. It is so much bigger than the plans we have for ourselves. Even the humblest of lives are grander than the trivial expectations of man.

But I do want more, world. I want more education. I want more faith. I want more words. Give them to me; Or let me take them. I am not done. I have yet to reach the pinnacle of my life.

Joshua 14:12 "Now therefore GIVE ME THIS MOUNTAIN..."

GOL!!!!!!!!!!! Wait? No!?

If anyone saw the USA vs Slovenija match this morning, you KNOW the major JIPPING that took place! I know this sounds insane, but it put me in such a bad mood that it took hours for me to get over it really.

That referee's horrible judgment and incompetency should be considered a SIN!

Don't know what I'm talking about??!??!?!? You can check it out for yourself ---->here<------ OR  you can sit through this completely bias and patriotic description of what happened given by ME.


The US team, discouraged and beaten, are losing 2-0 by half time. Slovenija looks good. I mean really good. Precise. Fast. Smart.

But our men are from the LAND OF THE FREE and the HOME OF THE BRAVE!

USA comes back with the eye of the tiger during the second half and shoot 2 brilliant goals to tie the game. With 5 minutes to spare, the US has a corner kick. The players on both ends are scrambling for the ball. The green team to kick it out of the danger zone; the noble red, white, and blue are focused on scoring. AND THEY DO! The ball flies into the goal; we are AHEAD, and victory is just a minute away.

That is UNTIL the King of Incompetency calls a foul, takes our goal away, and we tie--making our future in the mundial very unsure.... Why the foul? NO REASON!!! See the replays. See the highlights. See the game.

We have been robbed of our win--truly and honestly. Worst call I've ever seen. It was blatant misjudgment.

FIFA should come down on that arbiter with a vengeance.

Haiku! Love it!

Today's Theme: Fathers

 Taller and Stronger

Smarter and Braver, he be.

My daddy is it. 

The best provider,

The most understanding one

There is on this Earth.

The best in a man--

Lemme tell you the truth, cher.

My daddy is it.

GRRR at you BLOGGER

Did anyone's custom template get totally messed up when blogger unLEASHED its new template designer??!?!!!! Well mine did!!!

And anyone who's been following this blog for any number of months KNOWS how difficult it is for me to choose a template. And just when I get that nifty red one and thought it would be mine forever--Blogger came and snatched it from my grasp, like a thief in the night it came and took my red-wonder away!

And what am I left with?!!?! HUH! This. Just look at it.

I mean I guess its nice.

Its not as busy and apoplectic-seizure inducing as my old one.

I guess it'll do.

*wink*

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story 

(138 characters)

I thought I was getting better.

Thought they'd send me home soon.

But this is a disturbing vision;

I'll just sit here until it goes away.

Hosted by: Stony River

The Church Shopping Experience

I don't know your faith... I can only testify on my own experiences, but I can tell you that I wish to be a beacon. A faith-filled, spirit-guided beacon of Christ love.

I found a true fullness in Spirit in Baton Rouge at my church home with Healing Place Church. And anyone who is wandering in the wilderness, suffering in the valley, for anyone who thinks that God has left him or her, for anyone who feels so sinful that the eternal love of God has excluded him, I urge desperately to check out that website. Check out the online sermons. They are wonderful and a good taste of truth.

But I'm now a THOUSAND miles away and searching.

How many of us are searching? And for what? How many feel lost? How many feel unfulfilled?

I know that I can't do it alone. I need a church community. I need role-models--cuz lemme tell ya a lil secret, cher: I AM NOT PERFECT. I AM SO SINFUL. I CAN BE A TERRIBLE PERSON AT TIMES. I AM IMPATIENT. I AM QUICK TO ANGER. I AM EASILY ANNOYED. and a million other things that I beg with the Lord to help me correct.

I want to be a better mother. I want to be a better woman. Heck I just want to be a better human being.

So what I need is a church. A need community. I need friends. I need it now.

We arrived in NC on Monday. Saturday night we attended  a large, well established church. This (sunday) morning we attended Story Church and tonight we met with the Story Church Dream Team for a luau/bbq.  And while they are similar in many ways; powerful in many ways, it is the energetic beginning that has drawn us to Story Church. It is the growing need for growth that has us excited to join in.

While meeting with the congregation I noticed that most of them had a common characteristic..... they were new to Christ or new to Church or they had a background in church but wandered away and came back through Story Church. Lee felt an instant connection to that newness. I, on the other hand, felt drawn by the opportunity to connect and grow. I wanted to belong to a church that was young. I feel myself drawn to serving and building deep relationships. I feel like I want to delve into Theology. I want to learn the Word and pass it on.

What does this have to do with anything?

I can only guess that now that I'm in this new place and we're kind of starting a new life, I'm reevaluating everything. I'm reevaluating what I want and expect from my life. And all these words, ideas, and desires are popping into my mind--keeping me up at night.

But Between the promise and the provision is the perfecting time.  I have dreams, and God will get me there When I'm ready and am completely capable of glorifying Him once I'm there. He doesn't need my help fulfilling the promises He's made to me. I have to surrender and be patient.

Sunday Citar

Po' Boy Blues by Langston Hughes

When I was home de
Sunshine seemed like gold.
When I was home de
Sunshine seemed like gold.
Since I come up North de
Whole damn world's turned cold.

I was a good boy,
Never done no wrong.
Yes, I was a good boy,
Never done no wrong,
But this world is weary
An' de road is hard an' long.

I fell in love with
A gal I thought was kind.
Fell in love with
A gal I thought was kind.
She made me lose ma money
An' almost lose ma mind.

Weary, weary,
Weary early in de morn.
Weary, weary,
Early, early in de morn.
I's so weary
I wish I'd never been born. 

 Lemme Tell You What 

by Jillien

That gal of which he speaks, is my car, who has broken down half way through our trip to the new home in NC.   That long road of which he speaks, is I-59 which stretches from here to kingdom come. That weary morn of which he speaks, is my mind and my soul who are weary, my loves. And that golden sunshine of which he speaks, shines on my home long sold. 

Today I said goodbye

To my mom and dad.

I'm sad....

I started my Bible in 90 days challenge.
Day One [check]

I'm sleepy...

Tomorrow I rush to Baton Rouge for  a day with friends and church in the evening.

I'm anxious...

My arms and shoulders are sore from changing the front brakes of my car with my dad yesterday.

I'm proud of myself...

I have been competing in 5 different scrabble matches with internet scrabblers for the last 3 days. The games have yet to end.

I'm a nerd.

My friend leaving me...

Feels much more painful than me leaving my friend.

Today was another step toward my home no longer feeling like home: Bueno left today, and Baton Rouge lost a bit of friendliness.

Now don't get me wrong... I still have many wonderful friends left here in BR, but all these changes seem easier to handle when it's me leaving them. A city, my life, left in tact. Suspended until I return. On pause, if you will. But today a big part of that illusion was shattered, and it has left me reeling--grasping at air frivolously trying to piece it back together. Today I feel a little lonelier.

But I know that God has big plans for me in NC. Like I'm Joshua and Lee is Caleb, and the Lord has shown us the promise land--a land of milk and honey. Now there are adversities and there are giants in the land, but if we remain faithful, the Lord has promised us eternity.

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

 The Story

(in 140 characters)

Psst.
PSST...
Look at that guy rolling on the floor
--Oh That's Gerard. He claims it helps him meditate.
Ya? Well its really ticking me off.

hosted by: Stony River

(untitled post)

It sits there.
My struggles
Panting and heaving.

Through the dusty air
I make out others like me--
Crouching or kneeling
Just trying to take it all in.
The end.
I don't think anyone thought it would be like this...

It was much harder than I anticipated.
The sides more equally matched.
I always thought we'd have the edge,
but looking around...

Everything hurts.
But my mind hurts just a little more than the rest of my body.
And the air is trembling from all the moaning and shrieking--
Some--ghosts of the hours past,
Others in fresh agony.

They are roving beneath us. 
I can feel them just under the surface.
Searching...
But my eyes are fixed on one--
Our struggles.

Arrogant.
It is arrogantly tired,
but he's waited a long time for this moment...
And his eyes skim the sky.

Some of us are up there.
They, too, are searching...

I tense my muscles
Just to see how it'll feel.
Not if, but when he makes his move,
And I've got to leap or roll or run or die.

Pride...
That was it, ya know?
It was his pride
That started it all.

Funny thing about pride--
When you suffer from it,
You're often to proud to realize.

There's only him right now.
But with a flap of his black bat wings
He projects, and then there are hundreds
Of struggles.

But I too have something to project,
And I've survived until this moment.
And just my presence can swing the balance.
I'm sure.

I can remember him.
Brightest of all.
Glorious.
The model of beautiful beings.
Pure and strong.
I'm remembering...

And the scorched earth of where I sit
has yet to be created.
The thought not yet entered the consciousness
of the Almighty.

There were only the few.
We knew each other well.

He knows me well--
All of my struggles.

Then I'm back.
And the light of truth is blazing in my eyes.
I've caught his attention.
His vision no longer fixed on the heavens,
But on me.

And slowly I stand,
The voice of God!
And brace myself for the assault,
But before it comes
I project
His song.
Always His song.

And the world stands still.
And the notes pierce through
The shaking air.
And the searching ends.
And the struggles seem...

Much easier to bear
While in the presence of His song--
of His word.

Haiku! Yes Sir!

This week's theme: Ego

Stars and spatial globes

Spin and twirl. They die and live

In His mighty hands.

Of those who deserve

lots of worship and praises--

He asks for it all.

So...

Check yourself, my dear

'fore you wreck yourself, ya hear?

Leave ya ego home!

I'm off track

My husband and I attended a service at a local church in Baton Rouge years ago--just out of a whim. We had drifted way off course in our faith, in our relationship, in our lives... and the spirit spoke to us that night  when the pastor gave his sermon, which was appropriately named The Drift. It was all about the NEED to remain conscious of where we stand. That if we become lazy, we drift away from the light of God--from the kingdom. Every day should begin with a purposeful repositioning--making sure you're heading Godward.

Well that sermon struck a cord with me even though I was too proud to admit it at the time.

Lee and I have referenced the teachings of that message constantly through the years.  But in recent months, through the stresses of this move, I hadn't noticed how far I'd drifted... Yea, I still go to church twice a week, but you would never tell from my attitude, my thoughts, and my actions.

How can I expect God to send grace down onto my life, if I'm not even making a conscious effort to live a pleasing life??? How can I expect goodness and mercy, when I'm so mean and unforgiving? This is not a God directed life.

As I sit here and type, I'm thinking of all of my sins... the ones that are obvious ie: bad attitude, quick to anger, laziness; and the ones that I keep buried down deep. But wanna know what happens when you bury something??? if you bury it and deny it nourishment, it dies. But if you're like me and you bury it in the rich soil of your constant thoughts, feed it regularly with attention, and protect it from destruction by refusing to acknowledge how harmful it is to you... it grows and becomes a tangled mess. Like a labyrinth that you've no way of knowing how to escape. It blocks your path. It blocks your vision. It blocks grace.

My future is too uncertain to further complicate it with a lack of vision. It is time that I do a reckoning. It starts today with right now!

Microfiction Monday

The Picture

The Story

(in 140 characters)

Who me?! 
Oh don't mind me!
I was just heading to the bathroom.
What jars?
Oh, these jars!
Um. Well.
See, Its actually a very funny story...

hosted by: Stony River

Stretched

I am feeling stretched to my limits. My patience. My tolerance. My comfort. All under the ultimate test!

This move to North Carolina, in my heart, feels like it is where God is pointing our family. I feel like Lee and I are Joshua and Caleb staring at the promised land--flowing with milk and honey, but of course, there are giants in the land.

What are my giants?
--Unfamiliarity
--Distance from my friends and family
--Having to rely so heavily upon lee and him having to lean just as much on me. It will definitely be a test for our relationship.

When people ask me, "Are you excited?" The one honest response I can give them is, "The ONLY thing I'm excited about is having a home again."

For the past 3 1/2 years I've been a stay at home mom and loved every second of it. What is coming up for me in NC? Lee and I have been talking about me applying for jobs full-time, and I have to admit, it's terrifying! I have my degree in English, but that is not a big money-maker, lemme just tell ya! So what else is there out there for me to do?

So many questions are laid out before me. And even my imagination is being stretched.

Well, I came to a decision last night at 9:30PM when Lee and I finally made it on the road back to New Orleans from Baton Rouge....

I'm going to search for the kingdom. I'm going to pursue only the grace of God, and in my search for Him, I am confident that everything else will fall into place. (Well to be honest--confident is a strong word considering how insecure I am about it all. But, hey! Gotta fake it till you make it, right!!?!??!?)