Photo Friday

This is me when I was about 16 yrs old. I was vacationing at my aunt's house in Honduras... See I used to be this incredibly quirky kid. That crazy thing i have on my head was really a sash that my mom would use as a belt or something. She walks in the room to hand me the phone, and to her surprise, I wrapped it around my head.

Anyway, the point is is that somewhere between junior year of high school and typing this blog, I've lost a bit of that quirk. It comes out every now and then... late at night... in my sleepy hysteria. Somewhere deep inside of me there's the girl with the gold sash around her head.


AMENDMENT: Don't get me wrong... I'm still plenty 'out the box.' I think now I just fit in better with society. =D



Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

A story I just don't wanna tell

The week starts out nice... Monday I wake up sick as a dog in the pound.  I perform like poo on Tuesday, but that's not ALL that happens on Tuesday.  

See I've been planning my 10 year reunion since last november.  It was in Nov that I booked a very popular bar in NOLA to host our party.  I reserved the date and moved on from there.  Tracking down old friends, printing invitations, keeping the reunion on everyone's mind to encourage them to attend, receiving RSVP's, and all other party/reunion planning activities.

I started so early  because there were a lot of people who had to make travel arrangements.... I have people flying from the east coast, from texas, from ALL OVER.  The party is in less than ONE month away at this point.   

I call the bar to ask a couple of questions on some last minute details.....on Tuesday.  And it was on Tuesday that the bar-maid or whatever told me, rather rudely, that we were bumped off the docket to make way for a larger party.  WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no call no sorry no nothing.  She ends that conversation by simply hanging up the phone on me.

To not tire you out with a long story.... A few more phone calls were exchanged b/w me and the bar. For a while it seemed that both parties would happen at the same time.... Then they kicked us out again.   The last thing the barmaid said to me was, "You have been a problem since the beginning" and then she hung up on me again (the second time in 2 days!)  That's the last time  I communicated with anyone from that bar.  

So I spent all of yesterday calling bars, restaurants, hotels to see if anyone were available for THAT night at THAT time.  Nothing.

I've been praying.  I have faith that the Lord will send me the perfect location for our party. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I'm pretty low and that my spirit is a little deflated.

Singing like Poo

I'm sick. I got sick the day before I had to sing at this small festival that my college puts on every year called the Literary, Art and Music Festival.... Anyways, I sang like the most horrible singer in the universe. Worse than Jessica Simpson... Worse than Ashley Simpson even.

So embarrassing!

Sneak a Peek

I went to the Fall Out Boy tour concert last night.... to see Metro Station! My cousins Jessi and Meli paid ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS EACH for VIP tickets to meet the band(s)... or so they thought! Turns out the VIP tickets they had were only for Fall Out Boy, when in fact they had only wanted to meet Metro Station. AND to top it off Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy behaved like a total douche bag.

We listened to the first 2 bands and then it was time for METRO STATION!! yada yada yada... blah blah blah.... on to the good stuff.

We skip out right after MS plays and stalk on over to where the buses were expertly hidden behind a series of 18 wheelers. There's all kinds of activity but we're really far away behind a gate.

THAT'S when I spotted him. Trace Cyrus!! I call out "TRACE" but he doesn't turn or anything... and that's when my baby cuz Jes starts crying.

I mean you can imagine her disappointment right?! spend 150 dollars to meet the man of your dreams only to meet some jerk-offs!

Below the 18 wheeler I see some skinny legs in black tights and I knew in my soul it was Trace. I RUN to the edge of the gate and incredibly Trace is standing there shirtless... less than 20 feet away from me.

The begging begins.... "Please Trace... Please... Trace please come over" AND HE DOES!!!!!

Me and my cousins are all alone in a field with Trace Cyrus... just the man we wanted to see. It was incredible and the moment I get the pictures I will totally post them!

The Answer:

On a side note:  Here's my mystery song....

Am I scaring you?? Good.

Anyone who has spent more than 3 seconds with me knows I'm a goofball/nutcase... but lee doesn't come off that way-- at first.  Lee and i took a series of these pictures several months ago out of utter boredom.  Each with a different subtitle. This one's subtitle is:  Am I scaring you?

Answered by the photo entitled: Good

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Movie List

Okay so I want to see SOOOOO many movies that are out or are coming out in the theatres!! Some are cheesy... Some are nerdy... and Some are just plain AWESOME!

5. Hannah Montana: the movie.  I have a 2 year old who loves H.M. and so we are constantly watching the show.  I'm hooked to family comedies. I love the cheesiness of it. So yes, this is my number five.

4. Stardust. Okay this one is not in the theaters, but I just finished reading the book by the same title-written by Neil Gaiman.... Amazing!

3. Star Trek: Oh yeah When May comes around.. its ON! I'm definitely gunna see this film! Can't wait. Plus the actor playing Capt. Kirk is gorgeous!!!!!!!

2. Seventeen Again:  I love that young man Zach Efron.  He is just the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life!  

1. Wolverine: the beginning-- Hugh Jackman is enormous in this film. Plus I grew up watching the X-men cartoon series and collecting X-men comic cards '97 sheer! I just KNOW this movie is going to be incredible. 

One of those damn Planets

Okay so my chorus is doing Holst's Neptune and UNFORTUNATELY its very shaky....!

We're performing with the large symphony (sometimes we have the small symphony) but its the entire BRSO; so the fact that it isn't up to par is really freaking me out! here's what its supposed to sound like.

Gustav Holst: Neptune

Name that song!

Because I'm in the mood today!!!! This artist always makes me groove lol!

"Women not girls rule my world
I said they rule my world
Act your age, mama (Not your shoe size)
Not your shoe size
Maybe we could do the twirl
You don't have to watch Dynasty
To have an attitude
You just leave it all up to me
My love will be your food
Yeah"

What's making me laugh?

So my cousin Melissa is always sending me these joke emails... Forwards really, but they make me laugh and I love her for sending them. I meant to post this for Tell a Joke Tuesday but I wasn't able to blog!!!! I've enable the title post to redirect to Wayne's Window to the world just for Funsies. Anyways here's the joke...

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit.




The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like
the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the
black suit he is already wearing.


The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his
best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the
Blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it
costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'


The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds
her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe;
the suit fits him perfectly.


She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You
did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To
her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank
check.


'There's no charge,' she says.



'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue
suit!' she says.



'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a
deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly
after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I
asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit
instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'



'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN'!!!)

Anticipation

So many little events this week to look forward too! Its killing me! Each day brings me a step closer to easing this an..tici.......pation! (rocky horror drawn out anticipation).

Angst

It starts out all fizzy
I tells ya...
Kinda fizzy fuzzy
In a funny sort o'way!

Right down in the pit of
me belly--
And me gets all yelly
And I laugh like a fool
While I try to keep cool.

Then it goes very low.
Just as far as it can go
While it pushes me down
Right down to the ground.
And me 'ands start to move
Doing things they shouldn't do.

Finally when the song has been sung
And the deed has been done.
And I see the final show
I hope nobody will know...

I just run away
A rambling jambling
Kinda get-a-way
A stay as far as I can stay-a-way

Laughing as I flee,
Chanting, "It was not Me!"

Make Memories

This song has been stuck in my head lately, and I sang it so much that Lia learned it. For days she talked about kites, SO I bought her a kite! Neither Lee nor I had ever flown a kite before, so when we went out there we looked like a pair of fools running around with a Hannah Montana kite trying with all our might to get it to fly!

Enjoy!

Funny joke my cousin just emailed me!

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.



The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.



As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember: you've been listening to your iPod.

My Baby

Its over...

and i'm feeling that awkward mix of exhaustion and anxiety--it leaves you tired yet unable to unwind.  

What the hell am I talking about???!!?!  Why, Lee's Ironman 70.3, of course!  It has all but consumed our household for months, and now its done.  Finito! or is it?

I know after Lee's small break from long distance triathlons, he's gunna want to jump right back in for another one. And to be honest... I'll be both supportive and exasperated about it.  But I'll leave that discussion for when the time comes!

Anyway, life as usual for the last year has been anything but usual. I wonder what it will be like to have more time on our hands: Lee more time at home and me with more time away from it!  I'm sure it will feel pretty topsy turvy for a while, but I'm welcoming the change.

Apparently

(in lee's mind) the only difference between him and Paul Walker are Lee's hairy nipples! gross, right?!?!

Coach Shane

"Scene from upcoming short film 'Coach Shane'
This is a scene from the 22 minute short film 'Coach Shane.' In this scene, Lucas has been kept after practice once again due to a poor performance during the team practice."

Lucas is played by this young guy Daniel Samonas. If you have young children, you may have seen him in Wizards of Waverly Place.

courtesy of http://vids.eu.org/view-id-3403074.html

5 things i do NOT find cute!

5.  you know at weddings, when the bride and groom cut the cake and then they feed it to each other... and some wise ass couple thinks it will be cute to spread it all over each other's face. I don't find that shit cute.

4.  Calling someone and they don't pick up or return your phone call until its an obnoxious amount of time later... WHEN YOU KNOW they had every opportunity to call back earlier.  Gross! I hate that... its so NOT cute.

3.  When people take pictures while making that fish face* (when they pucker their lips and look like FOOLS.) it's definitely not cute.

2. When teenage girls drive huge SUV's while text messaging and cutting up with their 3 friends in the back seat is super un-cute.

1.  Ok I'm at a loss for number 1, but you get the point!

Just Ordinary Random Dilusions And Normality

You're perched above
While I'm down below
I sit silently
And watch you go
Jumping from branch to limb
Hearing you sing
I cling
To every note
To every passing glance
I never miss the chance
To connect,
But the ever covetous Wind
Grows
Louder and larger
Until its harder
To see.
I spin and dodge
In hopes to dislodge
myself from Its grasp
At last!
I'm free-
To see
Once more,
But by then you are gone
not from my sight
But I from yours.

Quotes of Late

Lee: I'm not even tall enough to be a woman model.

Bueno: Looks like she's having an acting seizure.

Jillien:  This is a shout out to my Sparkle Nugget!

Mike:  [my performance] will be golden.  You'll just stand there and weep.

THE ANSWER: Don't try to lay no Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock n Roll

My Dad would play this song for me as a child. (I'm an only child and most of my childhood was spent with my parents) So mom, dad, and I would dance in the living room on Sunday mornings because that was the only day my dad got off of work. I tried looking for the shorter version of this song, but was unsuccessful. Its got lots of charm and soul to it. And if you're patient I would try listening to the whole thing.

Name that song!:

This s a tough one:

"Don’t you tell me n-n-n-no lies woman ’cause all you know I’ve told
Don’t sell me no alibi sister ’cause all you’ve got I’ve sold
You better leave that midnight sneakin’ to the one who worked it out
I don’t wanna hear no back talk speakin’ go on and shut yer mouth
And everything’s gonna work out tight if you act like you been told..."

Best Day In Forever

Lia and I went to sesame Street Live with a group of her school friends and their mothers. I have never seen my daughter so happy in her 2 short and beautiful years of life. The traffic was incredibly bad in downtown Baton Rouge that the traffic was all but STOPPED. We were running a tad late, and as I picked her up and started jogging around the outside of the arena to get to our seats, the music begins: "sunny day, sweeping the clouds away..." and Lia starts jumping up and down on my hip with excitement. We hear the characters introduce themselves from outside the arena doors... "Hi! I'm Zoe" Lia is thrilled beyond belief at just the sound of Zoe's voice. "HI ZOE!" waving her little arms. As we find our section and walk up the steps, the stage lights and the Sesame Street characters appear before us. And my little Lia begins.... "HI ELMO! HI ZOE! HI TELLY! HI BERT! HI GROVER!" And then she laughs. She's laughing so hard that I turned to look at her because I thought she had started crying. Her face is lit with pure happiness that only a 2 year old seeing Sesame Street in person can feel.

You need to know that my daughter ADORES Sesame Street. She is addicted to www.sesamestreet.org. She navigates the site on her own, scrolls, toggles between windows and tabs, plays the games, videos and art projects. She LOVES Sesame Street. So this was incredibly exciting for her and beyond special to me. I was able to witness such a beautiful display of joy from the person who gives me the most joy in the world.

Praise God.

2 very sharp tongued and witty comedians go head to head

Tell a Joke Tuesday

(Original Blog idea by Wayne's Window. Please click on the title of this post to view his great blog)

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."


(My friend emailed me this joke from a site I don't have the url to, but i thought it was great. Its not an original joke, but what is?)

Edible

Robert Pattinson in GQ magazine

This man is deliciously gorgeous. -------->Click here for the slide show<----------

The Outside

I'm walking through the shade and fog
The sound of broken twigs and dry leaves
crunch uncharacteristically loud below my feet.
I'm wandering with my eyes half closed,
my arms out before me
reaching for and protecting me from the outside-
those large, dangerous unknowns that crack into your
unwitting head, if one is not careful.
Relentlessly roaming below the placid surface
of the thick gray air, the outside lives.

Controversial Idiocy

Its easy to chicken pick through a load of comments or quotes and put together the most atrocious, racist, ridiculous, or stupid sounding concoction that if a reader were not to do his homework, the original speaker of these words would look like a total douche....

[Did that make any sense? ]

Here's what I mean. The Pope goes to Africa. Is asked a question about the Church and AIDS. The Pope answers the question with about 3 to 4 paragraphs of words. ONE sentence is picked out, and spread all over the news. Hear ye, Hear ye: This just in...: Breaking News: The Pope says condoms spread AIDS!

not exactly.

I've had to restate the same explanation of the REST of quote so many times that I'm bored with the whole thing...

I mean the Church is something I defend wholeheartedly. But the press does this to anyone and EVERYone. It was terrible during the Presidential election. An entire speech was left on the cutting room floor in order to print the one or two sentence brain fart. I just hate that... especially when its done to someone I admire.

What's making me laugh:

Katt Williams on Parenting: VERY explicit language but VERY hilarious (click here to view youtube video).

Perhaps I was looking for the wrong type of inspiration. Check this dude out:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/03/19/cnnheroes.jorge.munoz/index.html

Muse

Sitting and waiting for you to arrive

Until then, I'm barely alive.

All grey and fuzzy- with no clear sight

Harder to think and nothing to write.

Is it just me or....

Are infomercials getting out of control ridiculous.  I mean its actually kind of funny. 

Here's one: They are advertising a paper-cutter, and they split the screen to a black and white ominous video of a woman trying to cut some pictures with a regular, mundane, and inefficient pair of scissors, when all of a sudden her hand starts running amuck!  It literally begins lashing out and slicing the picture all over the place! Frightening, if you ask me?!

Or its for a toothpaste dispenser, and again the terrifyingly insane black and white video pops up on the screen. There are children practically beating the tube with their fists.  Incompetent human adults squeezing the toothpaste tube with such ferocity that the paste squirts out all over the sink!  This must be rectified, and the only solution is their handy toothpaste dispenser.  

I mean if these black-and-white videos are a testament to the state of American mental competence, then no amount of government funding or 3rd party charity would ever cure us of our idiocy.  

I'm thinking about inventing some crazy product, just so that I can come up with my own infomercial.  It would be some gadget that ties your shoelaces for you.... Cut to the black and white video:  Some little old lady is trying to tie her laces when all of a sudden the laces start going berserk! And her little old wrinkled fingers get all tied up and tangled in the laces... just a mess!   OR a middle-aged man is getting out of a business meeting when he looks down and notices that his laces are untied.  He bends over to tie them when out of nowhere a large gorilla comes up and starts beating him up!!!  This definitely needs to be remedied... Buy Jillien's Tie-a-Lace!

Post Script: Please don't get me wrong.... if I had the money i would purchase all of those items shown on infomercials! They're delicious. Its the advertisement itself that offends me. (this post was inspired by a conversation I had recently with Bueno... she seems to inspire magnificence.)

Tell a Joke Tuesday

(Blog concept from Wayne. Click on the title to view his blog!)

1)

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only three hairs on her head. “Great,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.”

So she did, and had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmm,” she said, “I guess I’ll part my hair down the middle.”

So she did, and had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only one hair left on her head.

“Wow,” she said, “today I get to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did, and had a wonderful, wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that there wasn’t a single hair on her head.

“Thank God!” she exclaimed. “I was running out of things to do with my hair!”

This next joke is not as nice; it might not even be funny, but it really does crack me up. My ma told me this joke, and it cracks her up just as much. Scary as it is to admit, but I'm a lot like my ma...

2) A woman is in line to check out at the grocery store. She notices that there's a drunk bum loitering around where one bags the groceries.  She nervously begins putting her items on the conveyer belt:  One loaf of bread, a pack of ground beef, bananas, milk, and eggs.  The woman is aware of the bum staring at her.  She avoids eye contact with him at all costs... Finally, when she's about to pay, the bum walks right up to her and says, "You're single ain't ya, lady?"   The woman doesn't answer him, but as she's paying for her groceries his words begin to annoy her... How did he know I was single? I mean I bought normal things. I know I don't have a ring on my finger, but  how could he have known that I was single without a boyfriend or anything? 

So her curiosity got the better of her, and before she left she asked the bum how he could have possibly known she was single.  He turned and looked at her straight in the eye and said simply, "Because you're ugly."

All Lightness Aside for a minute:

Recently the governor of my dear state of Louisiana has been criticized, called a liar, and ridiculed all because he used a term "during Katrina" and really the event he was referencing was a couple of weeks or however long after the storm. 

I don't know if you can imagine how sensitive the subject is for me. I lived in the New Orleans area when the storm hit. I had to leave my house and lived in a small hotel room for weeks. (I blogged occasionally during that time at the Port Allen public library.) After returning home, it was like living on the moon.  Everything had changed and not for the better.  

I read a blog that kind of set me off.   The individual said, "Katrina was over the moment the storm passed."  That person obviously didn't live in New Orleans.  Let me tell you that Katrina LINGERED.  It was like a noxious fog settled over the city and not for the couple of hours that the storm was hitting but after it passed, during the levee break, during the flood, during the violence, the looting, the death, the devastation it all happened DURING Katrina.

Believe me. 

Post Script: I was fortunate. I came home to a house, to my family safe and sound (but even they have their stories: like my aunt, who lived in the 9th ward, having to get lifted from her roof top by a helicopter to saftey. Or my family who lived in Chalmette that literally lost every single possession: baby pictures, clothes, cars, etc... That's traumatic.)  Not everyone was as lucky. People lost their homes, family members, schools, possessions, everything...  I'm not trying to say that I had it the worst... That I suffered the worst. I didn't, but I was there. So it  would give me a little more perspective than that idiot blogger who doesn't know the half of it.

Not Me!

(Blog concept by MckMama: click on the title to be directed to her cool blog!)

Today I did not have to drive my daughter to pre-school in my husband's car because mine was so filthy that I was not at all scared they'd call child protective services on my ass!

Also there's just no way that I've lost all the tax stuff so that we can fill out our tax return information. 

Finally, I didn't forget about my dentist appointment this morning, and did not get politely chastised by the hygienist who called me up to ask me if I were on my way!

There you have it. I've been "brutally honest." 

Name that song!:

"Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil but everyone knew her as Nancy."

A cool breeze dancing across the ocean
In silky, billowy, smoke-colored skirts.
Long, thin legs tip toe across the surface:
Touching it
Gently lifting it
Stealing it away.
Howling as it flies away.
Bare breasted and hair untied,

Its body whips from side to side.

Yielding to no one or anything

It shrieks with laughter as it flings

Tiny drops of water onto the ledge

Of the cliff where always I stand on edge. 

Arms wide open and fingers unclasped

Time and again I  try to grasp 

The impish wind that cackles in my face

And one last time I try to brace

Myself against its hate.

For eternity... this is my fate.

Delve

Lee's Sense of Humor

[a video Lee made about a month ago.] I wake up one morning, and he had made this video of the cootz and me! He's always surprising me with little things like this. 

Can we say Grody?!!?

Ok so my friend Bueno and I were driving down the street, when we passed up Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers. Cane's has this billboard of sorts in front and always displays some witty or crazy saying to get your attention.

Well this day in particular the sign said, "Chicken so fresh, it was laying eggs this morning."

EW... I don't really like to envision my chicken nuggets' life, especially if it were living that recently. I like to imagine that the chicken I eat was like born dead or something lol. THATS how dead I want it before I eat it.

I'm one of those hypocritical meat eaters that has no problem eating a deceased animal as long as I wasn't the one who killed it.

Lee and I went crabbing a few years back, and it was sooOooO horrible seeing all the little crabs in the cooler climbing over each other trying to get out.... But later on that night after boiling in some Zatarain's: YUMMY!

So Unhealthy...

Mentally!

Ok so you must know by now that I'm in-love with Russell Brand. He's the bee's knees! Well his book "My Booky Wook" is being released here in the US tomorrow. I've pre-ordered mine off of Amazon. And am quivering with anticipation for its arrival in 3 to 5 business days. Okey dokey now... here's the thing.

Russell MUST do a book tour. He just has to do it. and I must attend. At least I'm dying to attend. Wouldn't it be awesome if he happened to stopp by the local Barnes & Noble just to sign a few books for EXTRAORDINARILY devote fans, like myself?!!?

Ready for the philosophical journey?:

What the hell is wrong with me? I've got the biggest crush on a confessed sex addict, ex-drug addict, androgynous Brit! How can I fancy such a man?! EASY: I think its the way he pronounces aluminum: AlUminIUM. Its fantastic.

Is it the grasping for unattainable dreams? Is it the thrill of the fantasy? I've seen those crazy women on Dr. Phil who are ridiculously obsessed with celebrities to the point where no one who is REAL can compare to the out-of-this-world idealized dream people they've made up in their minds.

I'm not there yet, people!

Post Script: I realize that I've contemplated this before. This is a topic that is often on the forefront of my thoughts. I've actually just joined the AMAZINGLY complicated Twitter, just so that I can follow old Russ. Does anyone know how the hell to use that website?! Its obnoxiously difficult. The worst part is is that when you join you feel like everyone else in an expert, and you're some sort of single-celled organism that is incapable of mastering it.

Twitter is very condescending... there i said it!

I wake up this morning....

and get breakfast ready for Lia and myself... I walk into the computer room and notice that Lee has changed the background image.

Some of you may remember this picture that I posted about a week ago of me and some friends at Endymion...

(click on the picture to enlarge)


well here's the version that Lee has pasted all over our screen about 9 times (we have a very large screen):

(click on the picture to enlarge... its worth it!)

I guess this is payback for the mullet post! (click here to view original post--->CLICK HERE)

So INCREDIBLY Serious its Scary!!

So since Lee and I have been together, he's always said that he wants a mullet.  You know.... mullet... like the hairstyle not the fish or anything. THAT would be normal.

Every time I tell someone his dream of having a mullet they say, "Oh he's just messing with you!" and I wish I could say I believed that.

BUT tonight has sealed the deal... Lee is insane.

Let's backtrack a day:

Yesterday Lee asked me to cut his hair. (I'm the house stylist. I've got my clippers, scissors, and everything else I would need to do the basic haircut for a toddler and dude... especially a crazy ass dude like Lee that doesn't care what his hair looks like! which should be a tip off on his mental stability and his DESIRE for a mullet)

So here we are- the cutting is about to begin- when lee describes the haircut he wants.  

Lee:  I want it long in the front and long in the back and the rest i want it to be like a normal haircut.

Jillien: What?!   

Lee: I want a mullet... Kind of long in the front and long in the back but the rest short.

Jillien: But mullets are short in the front. I think you want one of those FauxHawks... You know kind of like a mohawk but longer on the sides...

[I begin to cut his hair into a FauxHawk.... very horribly might i add. Lee looks at it]

Lee: No that's not it.

Jillien: Well I don't know what the H you want. Let me just do my normal haircut and I'll see if I can find a picture of what you're looking for.

TONIGHT MY SEARCH BEGAN...

First Style:

David Beckham's FauxHawk: 

NOPE! that's not it!  

What about this:

TOO long in the back and not long enough in the front, he says!

Is it like THIS ONE?!?!?!?!?:

DING DING DING DING!!

THIS IS THE ONE!

Lee said that THIS is exactly what he wants!  And he would even like the lines, but he can't wear that to work! Can you imagine?!?!  What am I supposed to do about this?  Any suggestions?

Blogging Love

Every so often I luckily stumble upon a blog that's been around for a while, but isn't famous. It's like a little diamond in the rough. There are years of archives of original thoughts or inspired art.

My favorite thing to do is to go back to the very first posts that person ever submitted. Read those beginning moments. The best blogs for me are personal ones. I love when a person is real creative and inquisitive or poetic, philosophical, even egotistical (everyone loves a villain occasionally).

There's something so intriguing about blogging. Sometimes very personal things are pasted on the internet for anyone and their grandpappy to read. What is it that draws us toward exposing ourselves in such a way? Is it that its not really real? Better yet, what draws us toward reading someone else's exposed yet private thoughts?

I am not alone

A few posts ago, I commented on how a several Fridays in a row without Chicken McNuggets could drive anybody insane. Well apparently Lent has driven yet another person to the breaking point.

Poor Latreasa from Florida just wanted some damn chicken nuggets, when tragically the McDonald's RAN OUT of them!!!! "How dare they!" you may be asking yourself. Well Latreasa explained this morning on Fox News that she had the urge to punch the cashier in her face, BUT because she wanted to remain "a lady" she called 911.

I say KUDOS to Ms. Latreasa Goodman... She ordered her nuggets, Paid for her nuggets, but when they ran out, McDonald's refused to refund her for the meal. What the HELL!? I would have wanted to punch someone in his or her face too!

You can listen to the 911 calls here -------->CLICK HERE

What is making me laugh: (click on the links to view video)

Russell Brand's Ponderland: Gerbils

The Lonely Island: Bing Bong Brothers (spoof on Ying Yang Twins) (kinda explicit)

Acting With James Franco: Davey!

4 years later

A while ago I had a falling out with one of my best friends. We hadn't spoken in almost 4 years!!!... until recently that is.

I don't know how, but we kind of reconnected and had been planning to meet and catch up on things. But plans kept getting derailed.

Well turns out that he was leaving for Malta (today actually), and last night was the ONLY time we could get together. I had some issues at home, which caused me to leave really late, and the plans we had changed accordingly.

Anyways here's the interesting part:

He's the same. He looks the same. He acts the same, although I'm sure he's matured in some ways, but overall he has the same personality!!  Funny thing is: he said the same about me!, which is WILD because so much in my life has changed since we last hung out.

We were 19 when we went our separate ways.  Now we're 23 year olds, college graduates, boyfriend, engineer, wife, mother, and LORD know how many other things.  But we picked up right where we left off.  I guess there's not much change from 19 to 23.  

I wonder what age it is that a person changes.  Like the age that one loses his or her silliness or goofiness.  Cause we're both still really freaking goofy!  

I always thought that 24 was the age that young people stopped associating you with them, and you've moved into Adulthood permanently.  And I'll be there in about 5 months!  24 seemed like a very adult age.   Will the transformation into stereotypical adulthood happen then?

Now looking at 24, it doesn't seem at all old.  I suppose its a gradual drift for most. But i've never done anything gradually, so you can imagine my curiosity as to when my life will suddenly change as it always has done in the past. 

This~ is what I want???

How come it is so difficult to fix oneself?  I mean I've got enough sense that I can see my faults. I know my issues.  I've confronted my demons... good; Now its fixing time!!!  Right?

Wrong. When the opportunity presents itself for me to prove that I've matured or learned from my mistakes,  I slip back into the same behaviors, reactions, thoughts, attitude.  

Its so discouraging, and I can't help but feel extremely disappointed in myself.  

I wonder...

I've always said "People don't quit smoking because they don't want to.  They love smoking... why give up something you love?"

Could the reason that I can't change my behavior be because I like it?  Like i enjoy embracing my sins?

Jeez I hope that's not the case!  

Hard to believe, but all the same its TRUE

So its my favorite time of year. The 40 days after Mardi Gras are much anticipated in my heart. I look forward to Lent as a time to purge myself of things that I love but don't need.

At mass last night the priest challenged everyone to fast... fast from our sins. Usually I give up some favorite food or guilty pleasure, but this year i think that I'm really going to use Lent not only as an opportunity to lose a couple of pounds but to lose some baggage. I could use this time when I, as a catholic, am spending a little more time with self-evaluation to move closer to the ideal.

It always starts out this way, of course. the beginning of Lent is met with zeal and determination. But a few Fridays in a row without chicken nuggets can wear a person down.

Is it just me or does Bill from Tokio Hotel look like a young Cher?

My friend took some pics of us at Endymion. Enjoy

(From left to right: Katie, Jillien, Kim)

(Left to right: Alissa, Jillien, Melanie, Emily)

Camera and Photographs belong to: Melanie

Bells will be ringing...

so everyone I love is getting married. There's plenty of planning and dress buying and color choosing and date sorting... Its all so exciting. I never had a wedding. I just eloped; no one even knew lee and I got hitched until months afterward. lol We're crazy. Anyway, all this wedding bliss had me thinking about if it were me.... What dress would I choose? What would I plan? So here for your viewing pleasure is a taste of my taste:

My IDEAL wedding dress: (Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres wedding)


 If I were feeling rockstar... I would choose something like this: (Dita Von Teese and Marilyn Manson wedding)

I think that I would have a small wedding party. probably only 3 or 4 girls by my side.  I'd have plenty of food and alcohol and the rest I would just leave to lady luck!

Tag I'm It

Okay so my new blogger friend Alex had this nifty post... Here's the jist: Google your name followed by the word "needs" then list the results. Feel free to jump on board and do it yourself.

[Disclaimer: I have the worst name to google. It ALWAYS yields very little results and its constantly asking me, "Do you mean Jillian?" NO I DON"T MEAN JILLIAN! But they can't hear me when I yell like that! its disturbing... Nonetheless, JilliEn needs didn't receive any hits so i must settle for JilliAn needs...]

JilliAn Needs:

Jillian needs to do something besides her all alone, unrelenting mourning; Its so true. ever since I gave birth I've been mourning the loss of my perky boobs. I should probably talk to someone about it.

Well, the verdict is in - Jillian needs her tonsils and adenoids out; she's trying to sell them on the black market and is looking for a buyer.

Jillian needs to be more hyper; I think Lee would disagree. I practically bounce off the walls around bed time. I wonder why that is?

Jillian Needs Her Baths; Its true hot showers are therapeutic to me in so many ways. I'll even take a shower after I eat because it makes me feel less stuffed. Insane, right?!


Anyways this was fun. Thanks for reading!

Point of View

what is it about people who are always right? Actually its beyond being right... it is coupled with others are always wrong (unless they're in agreement of course).

Is it possible to look at a controversial figure and say, "I don't believe in your cause, but I believe in your belief in that cause. I respect your dedication to the movement. I acknowledge your passion."

I lived with my parents for 21 years. During those 21 years, I was exposed to different philosophies, paradigms, religions and was also taught to respect and tolerate the views of others even if i TOTALLY disagree.

In fact, one of my newest friends holds completely opposing political views than I do. And that's okay.

BUT I also have people in my life-people who are not easily removed- who are not like me or my family. They are judgmental and abrasive. And it tries my patience to the extreme, when having to tolerate their constant belligerence and attacks.

Short Trip: Follow Up

I went to Endymion last night. There were so many people that our phones weren't working. It was insane. We walked such an obnoxious amount that by the end of the night all of my bones hurt! But the general mood of the night was high and everyone, but me, was drunk and were cracking me up! i Left the city at midnight and drove my ass back to BR so that I can sleep in my own bed and be with my family.

Waiting

I'm waiting on Lee to get home so I can travel down to New Orleans.  I'm excited to be spending time with my friends today.  I haven't celebrated Mardi Gras in 2 years! 

but I have to admit I'm pretty nervous.  I scared that I'll be stuck in traffic and then when I finally make it into the city I won't be able to find my way or my friends and I'll end up all alone freaking out and wandering the city.  [that is not an exaggeration... all of that is DEFINITELY possible]

what do you think? Should I just not bother?  The later it gets the more likely the above scenario will occur. And with Lee out training this morning, only the Lord knows when he'll come home, and I can skip out!

Ready, set, go!
Thats what I feel
right now.
enough to make it real
right now.
That's all that counts
and if it were gone
I wouldn't think long
about it
drop it
while it fades
into space
far far and away.

Postpartum Depression is in the In Crowd

My last semester of college I reviewed a sophomore's English term paper on Hamlet. Her thesis was that Hamlet's mother was a sufferer of postpartum depression...ALTHOUGH Hamlet was about 30 years old. Apparently Hamlet's mother had a delayed reaction.

Skip a few weeks: I'm called in to challenge a senior English major's thesis on Shelley's "Frankenstein." One of her points???? you guessed it! Dr. Frankenstein suffered from postpartum depression... EVEN THOUGH Dr. F was a man and did not give birth.

Since then I've heard of so many bizarre postpartum depression cases... next thing I know my kitten Tito will be diagnosed with it.

Someone should invent some sort of take-home test or piss strip. I'm sure that somehow we can link sneezing and body odor to postpartum depression.

One Act One Scene Play:

[2 friends having a phone conversation. Friend one is a married female. Friend two is a single male. They are talking about the Godfather trilogy.]

Friend 1: I'm not too into violent or graphic movies.

Friend 2: Well besides strangulation there aren't a lot of graphic scenes in the Godfather movies.

Friend 1: I don't know.. I just prefer comedies or even romantic comedies over violent action movies.

Friend 2: Yeah I had a girlfriend once that always wanted me to watch romantic comedies like "My Best Friend's Greek Wedding."

Friend 1: Omygoodness

It takes a while

I've been trying to get back in shape. But I'm not very self motivated-- unless you count my burning desire to be da bomb dot com in a swimsuit by summer.... Its what keeps me going, my legs moving, and my ass from sagging!

I wish my trainer were doing another boot camp. It really kicked butt. A hundred push-ups a night, crawling under tables while carrying 10 pound "rifles," sprints. That's what I need: a drill sergeant.

someone yelling at me to keep my fat ass running lol Although I am happy to say that I ran 5 miles today... unfortunately I need to be up to 6 by next Friday. 7 the Friday after that and so on...

Anyway, I guess that's what it is all about. The effort, sweat, and dedication make the success that much sweeter. It doesn't come easy. It's worth something. My fitness will have value.

Inspirazione: Alex

My daughter was 6 days old and still nameless. We hadn't opted to find out her gender and for some reason I think that had a numbing effect on the name choosing process. You think... what happened in the 40 weeks?! We should have been deciding, i suppose. Well we didn't.

She was "Baby W." until the day before she left the hospital.

Lia's full name is Lilia, my grandmother's name and also my older cousin's. It is a kind of superstition in our culture that when you name a child after someone, the child takes on characteristics of the original.

So although my grandmother was an incredible woman- selfless, loving, and beautiful, I still can't help but feel the anxiety of Lia acquiring my grandmother's vices as well. 

Why chance it? If God decides to bless me with more children in the future, they'll have their own names... Not like I'll make up some crazy ass name with a string of vowels in the middle ending with an array of consonants and accent marks, which will probably only be pronounceable by a person with a Ph.D in Pig Latin...  But I'll be creative and choose names that have no ties... no strings attached to anyone in our family.  Maybe some name plucked out of British literature or the Bible or Asian mythology.  

Any ideas?

As You Like It

2:7

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,

-William Shakespeare

I'm feeling that way again

sometimes its hard to be the last on the list of considerations.

Lia of course is top priority, as she should be. Her school, her health, her happiness... It all goes up there right to the front of the line.

Next, comes Lee and his training for the Ironman.  This household works around his training schedule.  If i've had it up the forehead with Lia and need a break but Lee has to run his daily quota... trust me my ass is going to have to put up with it.

then comes me.  And although it is a natural position to be in, sometimes I feel like skipping right to the front--like Senior Privilege in high school. Every now and again, I feel that I may have put my happiness and sanity on the back burner to propel everyone else's.  

Maybe I'm just feeling that way right now. I'll probably edit this post in a couple of hours once I've had some time to chill and have gained a more objective perspective.  

Got that Hold on Me

Absolutely the first thing

I think about

When my mind comes back from 

dreaming of you

right after you were the last thought before I slept

following a day of you inspired visions

That was immediately

Preceded by waking thoughts of you.

Flash backs

Okay so all weekend i've been having flashbacks from Friday night.

I remember dancing honky-tonk style with an older gentleman.... I remember dancing to "She Bangs She bangs'' by Ricky Martin at some point. I also remember, unfortunatly, another gentleman named Gus running toward the stage and then turning around to power slide toward me.

Its all coming back. Is there a way to suppress these memories? Maybe some type of chemical indused amnesia?

Visually Unappealling

Simmer down
low down
underground,
perhaps... if you think that'll help.
No use thinking
things,
impossible things--
greener things
strings
attached
no use cutting
no use running--
just yet.
Is it always this way?
Or is there a day
coming
where the world will seem
brighter
lift me higher
filled with cheer
no more fear
or regret
don't fret.
Maybe it's almost here.

Going Down

I'm heading to New Orleans today for a kid's party. This has been my routine for about 3 months now. I don't think I have spent a full week at home since after Thanksgiving.

I love my family. I love my hometown of New Orleans, but I also love chilling, not having to pack up all my things as if i were taking a trip to mexico (because even though new orleans isn't ridiculously far away... when you are traveling with children, you have so much extra to pack for the "just in case" scenario).

Baton Rouge happens to be just far away that you must pack up to go down and just close enough that everyone expects you to make the commute. "It only takes an hour!" Well with the lane closures on the interstate, the constant traffic, and speeding traps by the cops... it is a stressful hour to hour and a half (if you're lucky) its more like 2 hours to get where I'm going, usually.

Also, its currently Mardi Gras season down here and there are plenty of extra commuters and visitors in the city. Always FUN!

But once I'm there, its worth it. I miss it. It is where I was born and reared and where I hope to return one day (although Lee swears he will NEVER live in New Orleans ever again... and he has his reasons, which I must concede are pretty valid).

So I'm emotionally preparing myself for the trip today. Wish me luck. I hope to be back in BR by tonight!

Great night with a new friend

Had an "attitude adjustment" with Bueno.

What an awesome night!

Apparently Friday's are karaoke night at Daiquiris Cafe, 

and we met so many wonderful and interesting people.

It is so great to meet a person who you connect with on such a human level, as I feel I have with Bueno.  

Even better, earlier in the night, I had dinner with Amy and Bueno....Amy whom Lia just loves and can't get enough of saying her name.

All in all, great Friday.   Praise God for friends.

JM

Facebook Questionnaire

The results were pretty accurate... almost too accurate. 

----->See my Personality Profile<--------

E.H. you inspire me.

"When we are whom we are called to be we will set the world ABLAZE!"- St. Catherine of Siena

Its Late

... and I'm making valentines for my daughter's Pre-K2 class. They are having their party. My daughter happens to go to a Catholic pre-school, which is perfect considering that we're all Catholics.

Well, this week I baked a cake for my family celebrating the feast day of St. Valentine because it is a beautiful day to remember to Love. Remember that God is Love. Remember that Jesus called us to love as he loves. It is NOT a day to commemorate jewelers or to worship one another, or to be upset when we didn't get the engagement ring or any of that ridiculous crap.

Anyway, back to my valentines....

Lia picked out (honestly) Kung Fu Panda St. Valentine's Day cards! I kept trying to put the girly ones in her face, but she wanted nothing to do with them. She's never even seen Kung Fu Panda!

Well to add a personal touch I started roving through my bible to get love scriptures to put on the backs of her cards. Which led me to look up love quotes from Pope John Paul II and other Saints....

I can't tell you how much grace these individuals had that just to read words they once uttered or scribbled on paper pierce you! They humble you with their purity and truth.

I have truly drifted.

How to start the day

Its 8AM.

I'm finishing my plate of blueberry pancakes.

blogging-

while listening to Elmo's World in the other room.

I'm debating whether I should clean this dirty, disgusting house 

OR

Finish my book.

I'm leaning toward the latter.

Last One Standing

You know that horrible anxious feeling, when you're the last one to respond to a comment or question?    No sense of affirmation or understanding.  Just words... like throwning pebbles into a still lake and never hearing a splash.  

Update three years in the making

This is a post from 12/05. Its about an old friend of mine from ICS. Check it out: ----> Click HERE! <-----


Anyways, I had lunch with Jason several months ago. He brought that friendship ring with him. I accidentally brought it home with me and its been in my jewelry box for ages now. I've tried getting in touch with him since and haven't been able to. I don't know why, but I haven't heard from him... Well now I wonder if it's my turn to keep it for a decade? That would be insane.

I've totally got to figure it out

There are so many things to be stressed about. Money, parenting, money, and did i mention money yet?

I know... I'm preaching to the choir. At this tumultuous time, everyone is concerned with his or her finances. It is a very personal concern and while empathy is nice and all, everyone is looking out for #1 right now.

Lia has me worried. Not because of anything she does... she's only 2 and her behavior is a reflection on my child rearing. I reckon I need to do some self evaluating.

Lee and I have decided to find her a full time school. So its time for me to get serious about finding employment. Its hard putting yourself out there.

And all the other things bouncing around in my mind.... Its a bit much. I find it overwhelming at times. Too many thoughts.

Breakfast at Tiffany's... more like Snack at IHOP

I'm the worst drinker on the face of the planet.

There are people in the world that should never drink, and I happen to be one of them. It goes downhill very quickly. Its hard to act like a lady when the room is spinning and you're hyperventilating just to keep yourself from throwing up all over the place.

I try to dress and act like a lady to the best of my abilities. (Although there are times when my westbank comes out!)

I wonder if Audrey Hepburn ever threw up in her husbands car?
or
Has Grace Kelly ever wobbled around the Ritz Carlton foyer while waiting on the valet?

I highly doubt it.

Its all I have

I hear it first
rolling around in the deepest recesses of my soul.
The sound of pure expression and emotion.
It's there-
Always gently nudging the edges of my being.
Acutely aware of its presence,
My mind begins to gather its chaotic flailing.
Words.
I assign to it words.
And pushed down by heavy breaths
And controlled contractions,
It builds.
My heart is free and clear.
And while everything around me begins to fade
The vibrancy of the sound is too real.
It is not perfect.
It is me.
Me in my most untarnished form.
And in my most personal way,
I let it out.
I open up and pour it out-
For those interested enough to hear.

Stopping me

Guiding me through confused and hazy times
were  your words and empty lines
into dangerous and lonely spaces
tumbling through forbidden places.

Moving

In an Anti-FOCA group... this was a comment made by Kelly Morrison regarding our new president:


"Regarding Obama: I trust God to allow/place a man in a position like this. If God wanted someone else in that position, He would have made sure it happened. For whatever reason, Obama is our president at this time and place. I may not agree with everything he says or does HOWEVER I trust God to have a purpose for Obama just as I trust Him to have a purpose and a love for each of us. I pray for our president. I pray for his family. I pray for the decisions he is making and will have to live with .... as will we. Rather than send negative energy out towards Obama, why not shower --- deluge --- heaven with prayers on his behalf. Pray that Holy Spirit speaks to his heart and his mind. Pray blessings on President Obama and his family. God can turn the heart of a king...."

Why do i do this to myself?

So I haven't been feeling very well.  I'm not sleeping good at night, and consequently, I'm exhausted all day!  but instead of going to bed early.  instead of relaxing and taking it easy all day. I venture out in the blistering cold.  Go to the book store... Look around.  Don't see what I'm looking for... Go to another book store... Purchase The Luxe... come home and at 10PM I'm about to begin a new book.  

Today should have gone like this:  Pick up Lia from school.  Stay indoors.  Go to bed when lia goes to bed.   Nice recovery day.

Instead I'm dying because I didn't get a run in, and I'm going to have to make up for it double time.  I'm blogging at 10 when I should be sleeping.  I'm eating when I should be drinking.  

Am I trying to sabotage myself?

In denial

I'm sick.  My nose is running while simultaneously not allowing me to breathe; I'm coughing up stuff;  I have a head ache; and the list goes on.

But there is no allowance for me to be sick. No matter how sick i am, i still need get out of bed, cook, clean*(not that i do much cleaning when i'm healthy either)

Anyway, the point is that even when sick this house must still go on.  Lee's still go to work, and i'm the one that takes care of Lia.  

So I refuse to mentally succumb to the sickness.  Although my symptoms are to the point where its impossible to ignore. 

Running

is misery.

He won!

Georges destroyed BJ Penn last night.  No other words would describe the fight better than:

He handed Penn an ass whooping.

JM